When it comes to Audrina’s fame, I’m at a loss.  But she’s got a hot bod and is willing to pose in the most cliched scenarios — licking a berry, straddling the washing machine during the spin cycle, eating cake like a bad girl — so, you know, enjoy.  

She’s in October’s Maxim and didn’t say one thing that was interesting enough to repeat.  I’m sure she talked about her new movie Sorority Row, but we don’t care about that — do we?  Some girls don’t need to give the insightful interview.  They just need to grab their garden hose and pose.  Audrina is one of those girls.

A few weeks ago, Beet told us about how Grey’s Anatomy actress Katherine Heigl had put on a couple of pounds and quit smoking.  She asked the question that has been milling in the minds of tens of us:  ”Could she be pregnant?”  Then, more recently Molls told us that Katherine is taking a leave of absence from Grey’s.  More fuel for the pregnancy rumors.  It seems that we were on the right track with our suspicions.

Katherine Heigl is not pregnant, but she is having a baby.  She and husband Josh Kelley have adopted a 10-month-old baby girl from Korea.  Her name is Nayleigh and she should be here in the states this week.  This will be a first child for the couple and I don’t even have one snarky thing to say about it.  She quit smoking for her health and the health of her new baby, she’s taking some time off from work to bond, she’s providing a home to a child that needed one, and she’s spared the human race of perpetuating the existence of her bitchy DNA.  It’s a good thing!

Good luck to Katherine and Josh in this new endeavor!

Hugh Hefner and his wife Kimberly Conrad (she’s an ex-Playmate, obviously) split back in 1998.  She really has been the original “girl next door” as she lived in a property adjacent to the manse where she lived with their two sons.  Now, after many years of very cordial separation, things are getting a bit ugly.  

Hef sold Kimberly’s house which prompted her to sue.  He also finally the paperwork to get officially unhitched.  With that, he had to expose his monthly earnings:

•  Salary from Playboy: $116,667
•  Social Security: $1,896
•  Dividends and interest: $121,099 
•  Rental property: $17, 058
•  Income from HMH Productions: $15,808 
•  Pensions and retirement: $413
•  Other miscellaneous income: $17,639

This is what Hef spends a month:

•  Rent (including groceries, household supplies, utilities, cell phone and email): $53,593
•  Food (approximate): $18,000
•  Entertainment: $25,000
•  College expenses for kids: $10,130
•  Health care: $3,215

Wait — $18,000 a month on food?  For what?  Bunny food is more expensive than college tuition and health care combined?  It’s not like those twin twats eat anything, anyway.  I challenge these numbers.

Other assets include about $36M in stock, $6M in a joint account and $306,000 in liquid cash.  Bottom line?  HH is worth $43M and the cheap old prune wants spousal support to be set at $20,000 a month.  $20K to his wife of two decades and mother of his children?  Cripes, he spends that much on food …

Speaking of a woman who seems like she’s been pregnant forever, Nicole Richie gave birth this morning to her second child.  She and dad Joel Madden welcomed their 7 lb. 14 oz. son early on Wednesday morning.  He joins older sister Harlow Winter Kate Madden.  I’d love to know what you guys think of the new arrival’s name:  Sparrow James Midnight Madden.  My opinion?  You don’t name a boy Sparrow.  You don’t name any child Sparrow.

Congrats to the expanding family!

Usually, reading the words “Star Magazine reports,” is enough to make me discount every single word that follows.  But several months ago there were rumblings that the marriage between Chris Ivery and Grey’s Anatomy Ellen Pompeo was on the rocks.  They’ve been married less than two years (they’ve been dating since 2003) and are expecting a baby girl one of these days.  As an aside, her pregnancy seems like it’s been dragging on for, like, five years.  

Anyway, based on that one stupid rumor that was floating around this summer, I’m wondering if this story could be true.  According to Star, record producer Ivery had an affair this spring with a Boston girl named Rachel Artz.  I checked out her Facebook — she’s 19-years-old, blond, hot.  Artz said, ”Yes, I had sexual relations with Chris.  We were intimate several times.”  Ellen’s camp is denying the affair, but this teenager is spilling specific details of having sex with Chris in Boston, Miami and at a friend’s home on Martha’s Vineyard.

Oh, Ellen, it’s like you are getting real-life karmic payback for the fictional character you play on television.  So unfair.

I’m so sick and tired of reporting about death, but at least this guy had a prolific career and full life.  Columnist Army Archerd passed away yesterday at the age of 87.

Beyond reporting entertainment news at Daily Variety for an unheard of 56 years, he was also the official greeter at the Academy Awards for 47 years.  He emceed the red carpet for decades and he did it a lot better than Joan Rivers.

Notable points in his career include:

• He broke the story about Rock Hudson dying of AIDS.  At the time, Hudson was the most high-profile celebrity to be associated with the disease.
• He publicly refused to support blacklist director Elia Kazan when he was awarded a 1999 honorary Academy.
• In 1995, after Archerd wrote of his dismay of Michael Jackson’s lyrics to the song HIStory (“Jew me, Sue me”), Jackson contacted the columnist and re-recorded new lyrics.

Archerd is survived by his wife, Selma and son, Evan.