Jennifer Aniston was on Ellen yesterday and treated our ear drums to a sampling of this “singing” that she’s been threatening over the past couple weeks.  It’s a movie that’s still in pre-production, but Aniston is set to star in The Goree Girls which is a story about a female prisoner band in the 1940′s.  She’ll be playing guitar and singing.

The audience went pretty wild over her voice, which I think just proves that America is very easily entertained.  Maybe she’ll become a hit singer, win a VMA and Angelina can run up on stage during her acceptance speech and start screaming, “I’m gonna let you finish, but Brad Pitt?  He’s the best husband ever!”

While Jessica Simpson is desperately trying to find her dog, Jon Gosselin is giving his away. These are photos of Jon spending his last moments with the family’s German Shepherds, Shoka and Nala, before sending them back to the breeder. Jon says he’s forced to give the dogs away because Kate doesn’t take care of them when he’s around.

Sources close to the family say the dogs have always been Jon’s — Kate was never psyched about the idea of adding two dogs to a family with eight kids — and Jon bought a bachelor pad in NYC where he couldn’t keep two German Shepherds. Ugh. People who adopt animals and then decide later that they just don’t want them really piss me off. Adopting an animal is a long-term commitment, just like adopting a child, and you have to be prepared to deal with having them as a part of your family even when it’s not convenient. It doesn’t seem at all fair to the kids that their dogs have to move out because their parents can’t keep their shit together.

Plus, how hard is it to “take care” of two German Shepherds when you live on a billion acres of land? Just make sure they have food and water and then let them run around and play and occasionally pick up their shit. It’s not like it’s harder than raising EIGHT CHILDREN.

Sigh. I’m pissed about this. Poor doggies. The good thing is that I’m sure they’ll get adopted back out really quickly. Everyone will want the Gosselin dogs.

Nobody says it better than Comedy Central. Rock on, Stephen.

Ugh, my heart just breaks for Jessica Simpson, whose little Maltipoo Daisy went missing on Monday after being snatched by a coyote. I relate to this on so many levels. First, I had a dog die about a year and a half ago, and it was one of the most upsetting and stressful experiences of my life. I have my little Leo now, and he makes my life so happy, and I can’t imagine losing him. Second, when I was a little girl living in Arizona, we had an outdoor cat named Jingles who was wandering around in the desert and got eaten by coyotes. That was another very horrible experience. So I understand what Jessica’s going through right now, and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.

Even though “experts” are predicting the dog is no longer alive, Jessica continues to hold out hope, posting on her Twitter: “Still holding out hope despite the assholes that say is it a dumb thing to do. Daisy is my baby…why would I stop searching? I’m a mom.” Amen, sister. You can’t just give up that easily on your baby!

Us Magazine reports that Jessica is working with a pet-finding service called FindToto to try to bring Daisy home. I know the odds are slim, but I really hope she can get her baby back. My prayers are with you, Jessica!

Burt Reynolds is 73.  Can you believe it?  Not only is he 73 years old, but he’s checked into rehab to deal with an addiction to painkillers.  Linds, are you listening?  His rep released a statement, confirming his stint in a West Palm Beach facility:

“After a recent back surgery, Mr. Reynolds felt like he was going through hell and after a while, realized he was a prisoner of prescription pain pills,” his manager said in a statement Wednesday. “He checked himself into rehab in order to regain control of his life. Mr. Reynolds hopes his story will help others in a similar situation. He hopes they will not try to solve the problem by themselves, but realize that sometimes it is too tough to do on their own and they should seek help, as he did.”

Good luck, Burt!

You know what I’ve noticed about Kim Kardashian?  She has an adept way of saying really bitchy things in that sweet, simply little voice of hers so that you don’t readily realize just what a whorebag she’s being.  If she lived in the south, she’d be the one who follows up every verbal slam with a “bless your heart.”  For example, her most recent statement about her pregnant sister, Kourtney:

“She’s huge. She is huuuuge!  I think she’s in denial of buying maternity clothes, because she just borrows Khloe‘s clothes.”

See what I mean?  She knocked out two sisters with that little gem.  Of course, only seconds later, the backpedal.  When she said that Khloe’s clothes were “huuuuuge!” she really meant “taaaaaaaaal!”

“Khloé is going to kill me for saying that, but it’s really because Khloé is so much taller. Kourtney will take Khloé’s top and wear it as a dress…She will not buy maternity clothes. I don’t know what’s wrong with her.”