Funny or Die has come out with another one of their “Not-So-Funny But I Don’t Feel Like Dying” videos and this one is about the healthcare crisis in the US.  It doesn’t matter what it’s about — Jon Hamm is in it.  What else do you need to know?  Beet’s favorite, Olivia Wilde, is in it as well, but did I mention about Jon Hamm?  When I’m not busy having a completely immoral, extra-marital affair with John Krasinski, Hamm’s my man.

Also in the skit are Will Farrell, Thomas Lennon and Robert Ben Garant from Reno 911, Masi Oka (Heroes), Jordana Spiro (My Boys), Donald Faison (Scrubs) and Linda Cardellini (ER).  And Jon Hamm.  He’s in it too.

Last night was the premiere of The Invention of Lying or as I see it, last night was was the night that Jennifer Garner let everyone know that she does like Ricky Gervais but does not like Rob Lowe.

Clearly, Jennifer has her pre-baby body back into fighting form.  She wore an absolutely beautiful sheath dress by Gucci that is hand-embroidered and beaded.  Speaking of looking svelte, check out Ricky Gervais, huh?  Though he’s been known for pissing off fat people everywhere, he was always a little stout himself.  Not so much anymore.  Oh,  and he may spent too much time wagging his scrotum in his nannies faces, but Rob Lowe is still really, really hot.

Also there:  Jonah Hill, Kenny G, Jay Manuel and Paris Latsis.  If you don’t remember, Paris is the shipping heir who was engaged to the other Paris — Paris Hilton — for a short period of time in 2005.  The photo agencies are tagging him as an Executive Producer.  I wonder if he has a better grasp of the “producer” job description than his ex-fiancee?

Now that the criminal trial against Anna Nicole Smith’s doctors is moving forward, more details are coming out about Anna, her drug use and her inappropriate relationships with her medical caretakers.

Papers filed by the State of California claim that Anna’s psychiatrist Khristine Eroshevich and internist Sandeep Kapoor both had inappropriate sexual contact with their patient.  Authorities found pictures of Anna and Khristine naked, embracing each other in a bathtub as well as video of Anna with Kapoor.  Who takes a bubble bath with their doctor?  Unless it’s Patrick Dempsey, of course.

According to the documents, the two doctors prescribed so many medications, and such a dangerous combination of meds, that several pharmacies would not fill the prescriptions.  One pharmacist told Smith that the drugs Kapoor prescribed to help Anna deal with the death of her son — “two sedatives, 300 tablets of methadone, a muscle relaxer, an anti-inflammatory drug and 4 bottles of a painkiller” — was “pharmaceutical suicide”.

In so many ways, it seems like Anna Nicole and Michael Jackson had so much more in common than wearing too much makeup.  Addicts are so vulnerable and sadly, they both found themselves in the clutches of “doctors” that were willing to prey upon that.

Tori Amos, who continues to insist that she is not pregnant despite the fact that she is obviously pregnant, will be releasing her very first holiday album this year. Says Billboard:

The holidays are shaping up to be rather bright for Tori Amos fans, as the singer-songwriter is set to release “Midwinter Graces,” her first collection of holiday music. Due November 10 on Universal Republic, the twelve song set features holiday standards such as “What Child, Nowell” and “Star of Wonder,” as well as original compositions such as “Pink and Glitter” and “Our New Year.” Amos recruited longtime collaborators Matt Chamberlain on drums, Jon Evans on bass, Mac Aladdin on guitars and arranger John Philip Shenale.

I just think this paragraph is funny, because, like, wait, isn’t “Pink and Glitter” a traditional holiday standard? I remember caroling to that song as a child. There was a line in there about dildos roasting on an open fire and Jack Nicholson nipping at your clitoris. And we’d all have to slither around the front porches and occasionally spread our legs as we sang it. It was one of my faves.

Sheesh. The full track listing is below.

“What Child, Nowell”
“Star of Wonder”
“A Silent Night With You”
“Candle: Coventry Carol”
“Holy, Ivy, and Rose”
“Harps of Gold”
“Snow Angel”
“Jeanette, Isabelle”
“Pink and Glitter”
“Emmanuel”
“Winter’s Carol”
“Our New Year”

The photos here we taken at Tori’s concert in Amsterdam on September 17. I have no idea why she maintains she’s not pregnant. Maybe because she lost a baby once and she’s concerned it’s going to happen again? Or maybe in her Tori mind she’s not “pregnant,” she’s just “hosting a life form in her body.” I don’t know. Anyway, congrats on everything, Tori. I love you and I can’t wait for your holiday album.

In addition to having the cutest fucking toddler to ever see a pair of heels*, Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise apparently have the kind of strong, enduring relationship that allows them to exercise together. Just like Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake! I don’t understand the appeal of jogging with your significant other. Look, when I’m jogging, that’s my damn time. That’s my time to be away from all the nuisances in my life, which usually expands to include whomever I’m dating at the time. You must really be close to your husband to agree to jog with them. Either that or you’re contractually bound to be within 20 feet of him at all time. I’m not sure which it is with Katie.

* It just occurred to me that I’m going to get some very upsetting search traffic as a result of using “fucking” and “toddler” in such close proximity.

Okay. She’s managed to perform without collapsing or slurring. She was spotted out holding hands with a cute (although probs gay) boy, and she was looking pretty cute herself. But a record label? Amy Winehouse needs a record label like she needs another crack pipe. But don’t worry, the siren song of sanity has never stopped Amy before, and it’s not starting now. She’s launching a damn record label.

Five time Grammy winner Amy Winehouse, the most exciting and biggest-selling female artist to emerge in the music scene in years, follows the enormous worldwide success of her 10 million selling album “Back To Black”, with the launch of her own record label, Lioness Records. Inspired by Berry Gordy’s Motown, and The Specials’ 2Tone label, Amy wanted to create a label where she could sign and work closely with a small roster of artists she really believed in. The first release on the new imprint will be “Introducing Dionne Bromfield”, the debut album from thirteen year old Londoner Dionne Bromfield.

Speaking about Dionne, Amy says, “The first time I heard Dionne sing, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing… such an amazing voice from such a young girl. I’m just so proud of her. I’m very lucky to have a record label. I’ve got all these people that I love, that are really talented – and Dionne is my number one”.

Oh, God. If there’s anything more upsetting in here than Amy Winehouse and a record label, it’s Amy Winehouse and a 13-year-old girl. What the hell kind of parent is going to turn to their barely teenage daughter and say, “Yes, sweetheart, just do it exactly like Amy Winehouse did”??? Insanity. My fingers are crossed for all parties involved.