Gah!  Why must supermodels look so fucking perfect even when they’re pregnant?  Where’s the acne?  Where’s the sagging rack?  Where’s the vomit?  Where’s the waddle?  My only solace is in knowing that she’s married to Buttchin Brady.

Gisele Bundchen was snapped confidently striding up and down the streets of Boston today.  While we’re at it, why is she even allowed within the state of Massachusetts?  Isn’t it enough that I have to suffer while my Joint Committee on State Administration and Regulatory Oversight is meeting today to consider naming the Fluffernutter as the state sandwich?  The Fluffernutter.  Not a lobster roll.  Not a turkey sandwich.  A Fluffernutter.  All this sandwich mayhem and I have to deal with Gisele Fucking Bundchen living here?  Hmm … I wonder if she’ll be at the Fluff Festival 2009 this weekend.

Jon Gosselin rides his dirt bike around the property in Pennsylvania. While smoking a cigarette. With the wind blowing his shirt tight against his ripped abs. OMG. They’re ALL this funny.

If you don’t want to know what’s going to happen this season on House, don’t jump!

(more…)

Randy Quaid and his wife Evi have a warrant out for their arrest.  According to police, they are wanted for burglarizing and defrauding an innkeeper to the tune of $10,000.  It sounds like they didn’t pay for their rooms after staying at some really nice places.

Looks like it’s about time to make another one of those National Lampoon movies!

UPDATE: The Quaids were just arrested in Texas.  Evi gave the cops a struggle.  Seriously?  WTF?

When talking about Hef’s exes, it’s virtually impossible to resist the temptation of posting pics of them deep throating a wiener.  Speaking of oral skills, Holly Madison is getting her own show.

I find it difficult to believe that society has been craving a show like this — though I guess we always crave T & A — but prepare because Holly is set to star in Planet Holly.  It will be filmed in Vegas and will center around her life as a burlesque dancer.

“I fell in love with Vegas since moving here. So I want to show a lot of the Vegas few people know about, it’s hidden treasures away from the Strip. Yes, you’ll see my quirky day-to-day life of living in a casino with a dog, but it will show the side of the valley many people never know existed.

“It will have some docu-drama, but it’s the perfect excuse for me to be normal in a lighthearted comedy romp. Think Mary Tyler Moore. In fact, I just hooked up my DVD player so I can look at all the episodes of her old TV show. But Planet Holly also will have an empowering message for women showing that however crazy the ideas you might have, they can be achieved.

“Growing up in Oregon, I had crazy dreams. I’d see Pamela Anderson or Jenny McCarthy on TV and say I’d like to do that, too. I wanted to go off on the adventure. I dreamed of being a sex symbol as a showgirl in Las Vegas — and it all came true! We’ll show that journey on Planet Holly, and I think it will inspire other girls to always follow their dreams — whatever they might be.

“And then dream some more! Just because I‘ve wound up in Peepshow on the Strip, I’m not stopping, and I’ve set myself five more things to achieve in life. I will never stop setting new goals because I’m having fun living life.”

So, hold onto your thongs!  Filming starts October 12th.

Shortly before his passing, DJ AM filmed eight episodes of an Intervention-like show for MTV titled, Gone Too Far.  The basic premise of the show focuses on AM confronting users in a tough-love manner, urging them to enter rehab.  After his death at the end of August, the network scrapped the October 5th premiere date and shelved the project.  A few weeks have passed and now MTV has been communicating with Adam’s family in hopes that they’ll bless the show and agree on an airdate.

This will go one of two ways.  Option 1:  Viewers will think AM was a hypocrite, considering his own tragic end was caused by drug use.  Option 2:  Viewers will realize the true fragility of sobriety.  It’s never a “done deal” and addicts must truly work at it one day at a time … for life.

Option 3 is a given:  Everyone will watch, ratings will be high.  People are just too curious about young, dead celebs.

R.I.P. Adam.  I hope your show saves a life.