You know, it would be only too easy to show you what Deborah Gibson looks like today.  Today she is seventeen pounds thinner thanks to a strict exercise and diet regimen designed by her preventative medicine boyfriend.  She started out wanting to lose five pounds, but then realized that she had much more to lose.  Or, her boyfriend threw some BMI charts at her and told her she had much more to lose.

I’d rather show you the “before” picture.  I want to show you the Deborah that her boyfriend decided needed weight loss.  The Deborah that wasn’t thin enough.  

Now that Deb is in negotiations for a reality show, I can only hope it will be the nail in the coffin of her year-and-a-half relationship with the idiot who thought she was too fat.

Hey, guys!  This is video of the Elle U.K. photo shoot in which $400K worth of jewels disappeared.  You get to see Linds in action — not stuffing necklaces in her bag, but modeling — and one thing is evident:  She really likes biting herself.

I thought LL would be more interesting on video rather than the photographs that we usually see of her sitting on Sam Ronson’s doorstep.  I was wrong.

The photographers seemed to think highly of her with the exception of the ridiculous amount of hair tossing.  Still pictures in the gallery of Lohan biting — well, you know …

30 Rock is only the best show on television, yet has almost been cancelled due to low ratings.  My friend John who writes at BLOG! For Your Life has been kind enough to take on the dubious task of stalking Alec Baldwin’s personal blog as a means to keep me updated on the best show on television.

I’m pretty sure that the show is back on the air in October and starts filming by the end of this month.  But here’s the best news:  If you didn’t start out watching 30 Rock, you can now catch it in reruns as they just landed a syndication deal.  Personally, I think you can jump into 30 Rock at any episode and just start watching — it isn’t an epic like Lost or an intricate plot line like Mad Men (a show I regret not watching from Day 1), but if you are one of those people who needs to do the start to finish thing, you’ll be able to.  30 Rock needs more viewers — won’t you help?

And for the hell of it, because I don’t feel like reporting about Michael Jackson’s estate court hearing crap, can we have a little Werewolf Bar Mitzvah?

Everything is status quo in Mischa’s world.  After a couple weeks in a lockdown mental health facility, she tempted the fates by attending a party in New York City on her first weekend of freedom.  To be fair, she drank “water” and left by 10:40, but when you are in your earliest days of sobriety — and so many reports point to Mischa having a substance abuse issue — you need to be at home making macrame hanging plant holders, not at a club wearing them.

I need to see how I can get into this loony bin to the stars.  Misch looks better than she has since she was two.  I love the new hair and the time of rest seems to have shaved at least 30 years off her appearance.  Do they give facials in rehab?  They must.

She spoke with an OK! reporter and claimed,“I’m feeling great! I’m really happy.”  Well, Misch — I’m glad you’re happy, you selfish bitch.  Have you thought of all I had to go through over the past couple weeks?  Did you think about me pacing the halls at night wondering if I’d ever be able to freely make fun of  you again?  No, of course you didn’t.

Seriously, for whatever reason, Tiger Woods farting on live television amuses me.  It could be because Woods always appears uptight and sans sense of humor.  Or it could be because I’m completely immature.  I’m thinking option two.

Heroes actress Ali Larter married Hayes MacArthur – he’s an actor that she met on the set of  2007′s National Lampoon’s Homo Erectus  – this weekend in Kennebunkport, Maine.  If I remember correctly, Beet wants to have a lesbian affair is a little obsessed with Ali.  I’m not sure how she’ll take this news.

Now that Larter wore her Vera Wang dress and the big day is over, perhaps she can start eating again!