Aug 09, 2009 at 05:30 pm by Kelly

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A couple of different sites are reporting that among the potpurri of drugs found in Michael Jackson’s system were traces of Depo Provera, an intravenous birth control drug. Why would an adult male be taking birth control injections? A “well respected” doctor claims that it was to reduce Michael’s sex drive in an effort to keep him from feeling sexually attracted to children.

Dr Alimorad Farshchian claims to have given the late King of Pop the drug – Depo Provera – after he grew concerned about Jackson’s behaviour towards young boys.
The drug is usually used for birth control and restricts men’s flow of testosterone-producing brain hormones.
Dr Farshchian claims to have stepped in to help the singer when he learned about the controversial sleepovers, by prescribing him the medication, according to Britain’s Sunday Mirror newspaper.
Jackson’s official photographer between 2002 and 2006, Ian Barkley, revealed the doctor wanted to help the star, saying, “It was really Dr Farshchian, when he became aware of the sleepovers, who planted the idea in Michael’s head that he might have a problem. As a responsible doctor, Dr Farshchian thought these tendencies were something Michael might address. Dr Farshchian didn’t necessarily think there was abuse going on – but he was concerned there were inappropriate feelings towards minors which could be addressed.”

I’m not by any means an expert on birth control or sexual disorders,  but I do know a thing or two about bullshit. Considering that the originator of this story is The Mirror (not exactly a bastion of journalistic integrity) I think it’s best to reserve judgment on this one until another, more reputable source can confirm or deny it.

Aug 09, 2009 at 10:26 am by Kelly

Ashton Kutcher, MENSA member

“If the fat people just gave the skinny people more food, we could all just eat… We could solve obesity and hunger at the same time.”

Nobel Prize winning genius Ashton Kutcher on his plan to end world hunger.

Aug 09, 2009 at 10:04 am by Kelly

Website 1690 Swimwear– which offers a grand total of about 15 different swimsuits, with models in odd poses and what I swear is some photo shopped out poon– thinks this is how you sell bikinis.

Don’t miss the Oscar worthy Big Lebowski and Star Wars versions.

Aug 09, 2009 at 09:28 am by Kelly

Lady Gaga in Tokyo, Leaving for the Summer Sonic Concert Tour

Most of us prefer to travel in sweatpants and a t-shirt, or something with an elastic waistband. For Lady Gaga however, traveling clothes include high-cut leopard print underwear (worn on the outside, natch) fishnets, and thigh-high patent leather boots. Comfy!

She does a good job of tucking it back. I don’t see any trace of “peen” in this picture. Except for the giant peen with a bad dye job that is following her around for some reason, hanging out in the background and posing for pictures.

Gaga is in Tokyo where she performed in the Summer Sonic concert.

Aug 09, 2009 at 08:59 am by Kelly

Oscar-Winning Songwriter Indiced on 11 Counts of Rape

Here’s a weird and disgusting story that might make you look at gramps in a whole new light. The Oscar winning song-writer who penned “You Light Up My Life” may have raped more than people’s ears with his music. 70 year old Joseph Brooks is accused of raping 11 women after luring them to his apartment to audition for a part in a movie. Brooks then gave the women glasses of wine that “incapacitated” them– druging is suspected but toxicology reports have been inconclusive– and allegedly raped them.

He was first indicted over a month ago and faces 82 counts of sex-related charges. Yesterday, New York hooker wrangler (let’s not put perfume on the pig by calling her a “madam”) Kristin Davis accused Brooks of not handling her merchandise with care. According to Davis, Brooks used her sevice “hundreds of times,” paying up to $1,500 per hour for his sessions.

“He started out as a normal client. But, as his cocaine abuse progressed, he became abusive. He always wanted the youngest girls and often rejected the women I sent him. He’d also take their cell phones and refuse to let them call me. They’d come back from an appointment with him in tears.”

Brooks denies the allegations of cocaine use and hooker abuse, to the best of his recollection. The septuagenarian suffered a stroke in April and claims to be  suffering from memory loss.

Seems that like love, baseness and perversion know no age.

Aug 08, 2009 at 08:38 pm by Kelly

The Jonas Bros at Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum

The Jonas Brothers have ruined more than a few weddings because some teenage girls are abominable bundles of screaming, crying hormones. According to Kevin Jonas (which one is that again?) the gaggles of screaming girls that often show up at hotels when the brothers are staying there have disturbed weddings that were taking place at the same time. “We’ve had brides (say) like, ‘You’ve ruined my wedding.’”

Brother Nick adds, “There’s 100 to 1,200 fans who show up, and the bride, her wedding’s just ruined. Just screaming fans the whole time. … And we’ve actually sent apology gifts to the bride and the groom.”

No offense Jobros, but a nice fondue set does not make up for ruining someone’s wedding day.

By the way, that’s not really them in the picture above. It’s their equally talented wax counterparts that are on display at Madame Tussaud’s in Washington D.C.

Come on, admit it. How many of you were fooled? More waxy Jonas creepiness in the gallery.