At this point, I think we can safely assume that movie revenue has no relationship to movie quality.  G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra was the number one movie this weekend, bringing in $56.2M in the United States as well as another $44.M overseas.  Basically, if things get blown up in a movie, it will easily surpass the $100M mark within the first two weeks of release.  It’s big news for Sienna Miller; will she ever again star in any production that brings in an amount of money that ends in “million”?

Here’s the top 10 of the weekend:

1. “G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra,” $56.2 million.

2. “Julie & Julia,” $20.1 million.

3. “G-Force,” $9.8 million.

4. “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince,” $8.9 million.

5. “Funny People,” $7.9 million.

6. “The Ugly Truth,” $7 million.

7. “A Perfect Getaway,” $5.8 million.

8. “Aliens in the Attic,” $4 million.

9. “Orphan,” $3.73 million.

10. “500 Days of Summer,” $3.7 million.

Even if you’re not into country music — I’m not — chances are that you probably know about Brooks & Dunn.  After 2o years together, the group made up of Kix Brooks and Ronnie Dunn, is disbanding after their 2010 tour.  

The singers best known for their songs “My Maria” and “Ain’t Nothin’ Bout You” released a statement:  ”After 20 years of making music and riding this trail together, we have agreed as a duo that it’s time [to] call it a day.  This ride has been everything and more than we could ever have dreamed. … We owe it all to you, the fans. If you hear rumors, don’t believe them, it’s just time.” 

Doesn’t anyone stay together anymore?

Brad Pitt and Angelina appeared in love and very much together last night, at yet another premier of Inglourious Basterds.  I’ll be so happy when this movie fades into obscurity so I can stop having to concentrate so hard on spelling the title correctly.

Anyway, Angelina was there wearing a non-color (shocker) and I was amused to see that a majority of the red carpet photos are of Angelina posing alone with Brad cast over to the side.  His movie.  His premiere.  Her moment to shine.

“I think it’s unfortunate.  People are going to behave in the way they choose to behave. There are so many people who work so hard on ‘Grey’s,’ and all of our shows, without any notoriety and those are the ones I’d be concerned about, people who feel like they’re being criticized or looked down upon.”

Steve McPherson, ABC entertainment president, publicly slamming Katherine Heigl for her Letterman appearance in which she whined about her 17-hour workday that was necessary due to her being a pain in the ass.

Katie better hope that her movie career continues to thrive.  Her chances of ever getting work on television are slipping away.

Like how Jesus walked on water, Mischa walks on air on the set of her new show, The Beautiful Life.  I feel like I have to mention Mischa’s upcoming show every day so that no one forgets to watch.  It premiers on September 16th.  Maybe I can talk Beet into letting me do a live blog of the show.  I figure it will probably be cancelled after the first episode, so shouldn’t we enjoy the magic while it lasts?

I have many, many pictures in the gallery — there can never be enough — including Mischa trying to Heimlich Maneuver the sanity out of a costar, Mischa trying to appear unaware of the presence of cameras as well as Mischa sucking on her ciggies, her finger, an iced tea, a key grip’s dick.  (I just wanted to see if you were paying attention.)

Here’s the bottom line:  This show is going to be epically tragic.  There isn’t even a question.  I.  Can’t.  Wait.

First and foremost, I missed all you crazy kids while I was away.  I appreciate you for choosing to surf on to Evil Beet Gossip, even if it is just to let me know how much you hate me, my perspective, and my overuse of commas and ellipses.  Today just seemed like a day that I should let you know that.  So, thank you.  Would you like to know who I didn’t miss?  Jeremy Piven.  As a matter of fact, any time he drops off the radar, I do not miss him.  Ever.

Here’s the latest in the “Jeremy Piven Just Sounds Like a Royal Asshole” series:  Chris Kattan was backstage at MTV, waiting to go on Alexa Chung’s talk show to promote his IFC series Bollywood Hero — incidentally, not a good show — when he struck up conversation with Jeremy Piven.  In a move that cements my love for Chris Kattan and my disdain for Mercury Boy, he asked Jeremy if he was there to promote his Broadway play.  The Piv was not amused.

Piven, who famously dropped out of “Speed the Plow” in December, is in a legal battle with producers who believe the actor fabricated his illness in order to get out of completing his contract, and was none too happy to be reminded of the incident.

The actor sniped back irritably, “Well, what are you here to promote? Mango?” – a reference to Kattan’s swishy “Saturday Night Live” stripper character.

The actors continued to bark for a few minutes, but while Kattan thought the argument was in jest, Piven did not.

Says an insider, “After some back and forth, Jeremy said something really personal to Chris that basically attacked his career. He said ‘Whoa, man  -  I thought we were just fooling around here.’”

Not the right thing to say to the man who plays Ari Gold, apparently. “I’m getting sued for that s–t!” the actor shouted. “It’s not funny!”

Our source adds, “Jeremy slammed the green room door right in Chris’ face, and about 20 people in the hallway outside could hear him yelling obscenities. He was furious.

“Chris felt really badly about the whole thing, so about 15 minutes later he tried to approach Jeremy again to apologize, to tell him he was just kidding and that he didn’t mean to offend in any way. But Jeremy wasn’t having it at all. He slammed the door in Chris’ face AGAIN.”

I never needed more confirmation that Jeremy Piven is the biggest dickwad in Hollywood, but if I did, this would be it.  What a little, fucking crybaby.  Of course he’s getting sued for dropping out of Speed the Plow!  He was so deathly ill with “mercury poisoning”, but still managed to be seen at every restaurant, club and party in the city.  Can we just send him a gross of tuna rolls (dusted with cocaine — we have to make it enticing enough to ensure that Piv eats the whole batch) and get it over with?

Of course, it wouldn’t be a Jeremy Piven story without a denial statement.  According to his rep, “Jeremy and Chris did see each other at MTV and they were joking around backstage before a talk show appearance, as many actors do. If it was interpreted as a fight, someone wasn’t paying attention.”  Kattan’s take, per his people, went like this:  ”Chris mistakenly asked Jeremy if he was there to promote his play and Piven fired back with ‘What are you here to promote, Mango?’ Chris tried to apologize.”

Also, I don’t want to say that Jeremy Piven has the most brilliant publicist ever, but if you Google “sushi mercury” the seventh result on page one is an article about — who else? — Jeremy.  Brilliant.