“I’m happy that she’s out of my life.”

Jon Gosselin, responding to Kate Major’s tirade against him with a short and simple bitch-slap. BAM! Bitch goes down! I wonder if Star will give her her job back.

If I had a magical genie and that genie could grant me one wish, I would be all like, “Genie, I want Aaron Sorkin to write the screenplay version of my life.” Aaron Sorkin is a magical genie, and I’m beyond delighted that he’s writing the upcoming film about the start of Facebook, tentatively titled The Social Network. In this interview, Aaron says he’s close to finishing a first draft. A script-review blog reportedly got a look at it in June, and, while they don’t post the actual script, you can read a decent play-by-play here. I’m completely drooling over any news about this movie, mostly because I’m completely obsessed with Aaron Sorkin and all I want to do all day is watch things that he wrote. And then I want to marry him, because we’ll write our own vows and I just can’t wait to hear all the marvelous turns-of-phrase he has for me. Aaron? If the Google alert you undoubtedly have on your name picks this up, my contact information is in the sidebar.

According to Gatecrasher, Brit’s kids have little potty mouths.  Last week, while Brit was stocking up on a bunch of free stuff at an L.A. swag event, the charming little tots Sean and Jayden kept yelling, “Oh shit!”  And you know, the way it’s being reported, Britney didn’t address or even acknowledge their behavior, but people who have toddlers already know this:  Those kids could have been saying anything.  They could have been saying “Open it!” or very possibly “Want grits!” or “Daddy’s fat!”  

The media is so quick to paint Brit as this tuned-out, flake of a mother.  Quite frankly, who cares if the kids are swearing up a storm?  The fact that Britney hung out in a club with Lindsay Lohan last week is about 117 times more concerning.

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus trailer has finally been released.  The fantasy movie, better known as Heath Ledger’s last movie, is scheduled an October 16 release.  Because Ledger died during the first third of filming, Johnny Depp, Jude Law and Colin Farrell were cast to portray Heath’s character as it morphs during travel through a dream world.  

Obviously, it will rake in millions due to the amazing cast and Heath curiousity.  Does the trailer pique your interest?

How’s this for a pregnancy confirmation?  Actress Jennifer Hudson gave birth yesterday to a 7 pound, 14 ounce baby boy named David Daniel Otunga Jr., after his dad.

Jennifer and her fiance never gave an official confirmation that she was expecting, though the baby shower and burgeoning belly offered up clues, and they did not find out the gender of their baby ahead of time.  Personally, I always felt like there were enough other surprises during the process of giving birth — I wanted to know the sex.  

Congrats to the new parents!

Oprah Winfrey was in New York City yesterday lunching with her strictly platonic friend Gayle — owner of the kneecaps and furtive hand placement as seen in the background — and singer Alicia Keyes.  Alicia wasn’t in any of these photos which makes me wonder if O didn’t swallow her whole.  If you don’t hear of any new AK singles any time soon, you’ll know why.