Brad Pitt certainly was dressed appropriately for the Time Traveler’s Wife premiere in New York on Wednesday — he looks like he just stepped off the porch of a plantation-era mansion. In typical Brad style, though, he looks remarkably sexy doing it. The thought of what that beard would do to my chin makes me cringe, but I’d still totally have a make-out sesh with him (I always try to look at it as free micro-derm).

Also very sexy: Rachel McAdams, wearing a dress with a neckline that’s practically a waistline. She pulls it off with panache!

Holy hell, I can’t even cope this with. Kourtney Kardashian — you know, the Kardashian sister that’s not the really famous one or the tranny one — is pregnant. She’s due around Kristmas Christmas. She won’t say who the dad is, although rumors are she’s back together with her former flame, Scott Disick (she won’t confirm that).

The only thing she’ll say is that interested parties will have to watch her new show, Kourtney and Khloé Take Miami, which debuts Sunday on E!. (And, if you can believe it, E! Online broke the story. HOW DID THEY EVER GET A SCOOP LIKE THAT?)

But here’s what just kills me — she says she’s due around Christmas. That means she’s around four-and-a-half months pregnant. She claims she found out she was pregnant while they were filming this series. So basically she knew, and her family knew, and the entire E! crew knew, but they were all keeping it a big giant secret so that it could be announced the week before her series aired and generate a shitload of publicity for the show. This baby is still in utero and they’re already plotting ways to make it profitable. Just sayin’.

“I worked very hard on that book. I tested and retested those recipes for eight years so that everybody could cook them. And many, many people have. I don’t understand how she could have problems with them. She just must not be much of a cook.”

Julia Child, as quoted in a new article in the LA Times, discussing Julie Powell and her blog, The Julie/Julia Project. The blog was turned into a book which has been turned into a movie, Julie & Julia, now in theaters. But Julia Child apparently didn’t think much of Julie Powell’s blog when it was originally presented to her, years ago, by the author of the LA Times article. (Out of respect, he says, he didn’t quote her on this while she was still alive.)

Sheesh, Julia. You should watch me try to cook Kraft macaroni and cheese. I may as well be splitting the atom. God forbid I attempt something as complex as pancakes, let alone anything out of any of your cookbooks.

As part of her promotional duties for her upcoming film, Jennifer’s Body, in which she plays a hot, evil cheerleader who kills her male classmates, Megan Fox stars in this adorable PSA. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I don’t like horror flicks, but I’m excited for this movie. It feels like it’s going to be just campy enough to be wonderful.

Just in case his political career weren’t completely, totally and utterly obliterated already, The National Enquirer — which has been freakishly accurate in its coverage of this story — says a secret DNA test proves that John Edwards is in fact the father of his mistress’s daughter, Frances Quinn Hunter.

Rielle Hunter is currently believed to be testifying in secret grand jury proceedings regarding whether Edwards used campaign finance money to keep her quiet after she got pregnant. She was spotted last week in Raleigh, N.C., entering a federal courthouse, where she spent nine hours, but the U.S. attorney’s office in Raleigh has declined to confirm or deny an investigation.

I don’t really care what the DNA test results say. It doesn’t matter. Look at this little girl. She’s a dead ringer for John Edwards, and she has been basically from birth. There’s no doubt it’s his kid.

I’m feeling nostalgic so I figured that a 25-year-old picture of Michael and LaToya, taken back in the day when he was black and she had original cartilage, was appropriate.  With the exception of singing backup on “Pretty Young Thing”, LaToya’s success has been largely overshadowed by Michael and Janet.  As much as I hate to say it, MJ’s death has been a huge career boost to some of the less-famous Jacksons. 

Sure, we all know LaToya really came into her own as lead endorser for the Psychic Friends Hotline, but now she’s in serious talks to be a contestant on Dancing With The Stars.  That’s, like, a major network hit show!  I feel confident that, previous to this newest development, LaToya’s dealings with producers have been limited to those in the “infomercials that air when the world is asleep” industry.  Nothing about LaToya says “primetime”, yet everything about LaToya says “Magic Bullet”.

I ask you:  Would these negotiations be taking place if Michael was still alive and popping pills whilst wasting away in his Craftmatic adjustable bed?