Okay, it isn’t Julia Roberts. It’s Aerosmith’s Steven Fucking Tyler. I’m not kidding. If you don’t believe me, watch the little video clip. He stopped by a local (local to me, it’s all the talk around here) liquor store and was immediately recognized. Which is odd since he looks completely unrecognizable to me. Locals see Steven around at Whole Foods and the gas station, etc. and no one makes a big deal about it. Unless he looks how he’s looking now, in which case everyone reaches for a camera.
As you probably know, Tyler fell off a stage last week and broke his shoulder. Apparently breaking a shoulder ages you, like, 250 years. What. The. Fuck?
Page Six is reporting that Jessica Simpson’s father Joe — another overbearing stage father named Joe … interesting — is pushing to have his daughter be the replacement judge on American Idol. Now, I understand the appeal of having a guest judge, but doesn’t it just make sense to have three judges on AI? I never understood why they went to four. All it does is add the potential for a tie.
If Jess was on the panel, it would never be quite as entertaining as Paula’s antics. However, Jessica forgets everything, so how long would it take before she starts calling her coworkers Robby, Carol and Cecil? I can see her doing the press junket now. ”Yeah, ya’ll, I’m so excited to be the newest addition to African … uh, I mean American … Idol! Yeah, American Idol! That’s it! Gosh, ya’ll make me so nervous!”
Personally, I’d like to thank ABC for not releasing a few names at a time, which is what they did last season. I’m not a fan of Dancing With The Stars, but I’ll totally be tuning in to see former GOP leader Tom DeLay do a Paso Doble. The show has classified Ashley Hamilton as an “actor”. I guess the categories “I’ve Yet to Stay Married to a C-List Celeb For More Than Five Months” or “No, I Don’t Really Know Why My Dad George Hamilton is Famous Either” weren’t options.
Here’s the line-up:
Singers
Mya, Macy Gray, Aaron Carter, Donny Osmond
Actors
Melissa Joan Hart, Debi Mazar, Ashley Hamilton (?)
Models
Joanna Krupa, Kathy Ireland
Reality Television Contestants
Kelly Osbourne, Mark Dacascos (Iron Chef America)
Athletes
Chuck Liddell (martial arts), Louis Vito (snowboarder), Natalie Coughlin (swimmer), Michael Irvin (football)
“Beatrice questions everybody who eats animals When we were in the south of France, there was a buffet for kids, and by the end of the week no one would sit near us because she would go over and say, ‘Why are you eating that cow’s bottom?’ or ‘Oh, look at that little shrimp with little eyes.’”
Heather Mills, confirming that she’s raising her 5-year-old vegan daughter to be a total pain in the ass to the general public.
Hugh Grant is leaving show business. Again. Still. Since 1994. This is how it goes: Hugh Grant appears in a romantic comedy. Hugh Grant does press where he explains that he sucks because he has stage fright. Hugh Grant talks about what a sucky job acting is. Hugh Grant says he’s retiring. Hugh Grant signs on for a role in a romantic comedy.
He said he had been on the verge of quitting acting before his life-changing audition for Four Weddings and a Funeral.
He has since described his job as a ‘miserable experience’ and threatened to retire at least twice.
And now, just months after completing work on yet another movie, Hugh Grant is talking about throwing the towel in yet again.
Blaming a string of stage fright attacks, the 48-year-old actor insists he is ready to give up his day job at last.
‘I like everything about filming except the acting,’ he told US magazine Entertainment Weekly.
‘I’m wonderful in rehearsals, but I have never been very good when they actually switch the cameras on.
‘In recent years I’ve had really bad attacks where I totally froze up. I though “Well, if I am going to get stage fright, then I am packing it in”.’
He’s like the Cher (or Rolling Stones) of Hollywood. There comes a time where you have to stop saying you’re leaving and you have to follow through. How many more sheepish, one-eyebrow-cocked half-smiles are we supposed to endure in this lifetime, anyway? I just want Hugh to know that the cinematic world can continue on without him. He’s just not that relevant. Hugh needs to start being a man of his word and keep a promise. Go.
According to Joe Jackson, his son Michael will be laid to rest at Forest Lawn Cemetery on the singer’s birthday, August 29 at 10 a.m. I find this both poignant and creepy. For the record, Papa Joe offered up all this info during a lunch interview in which he brought Crystal Marven. Who is Crystal Marven? She’s a recording artist under contract with Joe’s new label. Always the opportunist businessman.
He also talked about the ongoing investigation of Dr. Conrad Murray. Though he supports LAPD, he thinks Murray could be “the fall guy for a whole lot of people.”
Toxicology reports haven’t been released yet. I’m sure the prosecutor is trying to figure a way to pin a manslaughter charge on Murray. It’s going to be difficult, because though he admitted to administering the anesthetic Propofol, it’s going to be impossible to track down the source of all the other drugs that were swimming around in Michael’s bloodstream. Also, the prosecution would have to prove that Dr. Murray knew that Jackson was ingesting all those other drugs. If the LAPD has learned nothing — botched criminal cases are kinda their specialty — I hope they know not to rush their investigation.
Though Michael will soon have a final resting place, I doubt he’ll ever rest in peace. Like Elvis and Monroe, the circumstances surrounding his death will be re-investigated and speculated about forever.
I would like to tell you that the term “retard” is very offensive to me. I am not offended because I ASSUME it would offend someone who has mental retardation. I am offened on how the word came to...
I am not offended that Rosie has a fear or anxiety of LP. I feel that when someone knows very little about things and or people they tend to be anxious. Think about it if you had never been around someone...
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