Heroes Cheerleader Hayden Panettiere got one of her birthday presents a bit early. The actress who recently starred in the box office bomb I Love You, Beth Cooper is turning 20 tomorrow (yes, seriously. This girl still can’t buy a six pack legally), but she stepped out in Malibu yesterday with a new beau that may look familiar to those of us who follow the rags regularly.

Homegirl was seen strolling in the sand with none other than Pink Taco founder Harry Morton. Not sure who that is? Maybe you’ll remember that he was Lindsay Lohan’s post-Wilmer Valderrama hook up from a few years back. Morton and Lohan actually dated for quite awhile and if history repeats itself, we can expect Hayden to get her first DUI in about a year and her second a couple weeks after that, followed by some jail time and girl-on-girl action with a popular DJ.

Ahhh. So much to look forward to.

What better way to cap off my week (Molly will be here for the next couple days) than to post a little gratuitous T&A?  Brooklyn Decker, Sports Illustrated swimsuit model and wife of Andy Roddick poses in September’s issue of GQ.  It seemed like Roddick went out with Mandy Moore forever.  Sure, Mands might be a killer Red Bull douche spokesperson, but look at this chick.  Roddick upgraded, didn’t he?

Canadian real-life millionaire and a contestant on Megan Wants A Millionaire and I Love Money 3, is on the run tonight after his wife was found dead in a dumpster.

Ryan Alexander Jenkins married his Playboy model wife Jasmine Fiore (the blond facing the camera head on) just five months ago.  So far, not too much is known about their marriage, except that they tied the knot after only knowing each other for two days.  They were last seen together Friday at a poker tournament.  Fiore had exchanged texts with an old boyfriend and then later in the night a message that read “Suck it” was sent from Fiore’s phone.

On Saturday, Jasmine’s body was found stuffed inside a suitcase in a dumpster located behind an apartment complex.  That evening Jenkins reported his wife missing.  And now he’s missing.  Police are obviously looking for him as he is a “person of interest” in the case.

Megan Wants A Millionaire, the VH1 reality show that is currently on the air, has been pulled with no plans for future episodes to be aired.  On last week’s episode, Ryan won a one-on-one date with the star of the show, Megan Hauserman.

Jenkins has an assault charge, court-ordered counseling and sex addiction rehab in his past.  Let’s hope he isn’t responsible for his horrible tragedy.  Today, it’s not looking so good.

Thoughts and prayers for Jasmine’s family.

In case you were wondering, it seems that there is still something going on with Samantha and Lindsay.  How did I live previous to the incarnation of Twitter?  It’s like having kids; I can’t remember my life “before”.  

So, today Samantha Ronson lamented early bedtimes.  Lindsay — and pay attention because she finally got control of the name Lindsay Lohan on Twitter.  I think she’ll be switching over in the next couple days — replied almost immediately offering herself up.  And this is why I know Lindsay is a drugged up waste right now.  Because there is no edit.  It’s not refreshing honesty like you’d expect from Kate Winslet or even crazy couch-jumping proclamations like we saw with Tom Cruise.  It’s just an outright, cringe-worthy, 140 characters or less pussy proffering for all the world to witness.  It’s probably the biggest reason why I can’t be an actual Lohan hater.  Sure, she’s patchy and unemployed, but also so obviously in need of attention:  I suspect medical and mental.

Jason Schwartzman, best known for his roles in I Heart Huckabees and Marie Antoinette (he was the saving grace in that flick), just announced that he wed his long-term girlfriend Brady Cunningham, July 11th at their San Fernando Valley home.

I give Schwartzman credit for a couple of things:  1) He flew under the radar for over a month — he’s not A-list but it’s still an impressive feat, and 2)  He married a completely normal, natural looking woman.  It even looks like her rack might be an original.  So un-Hollywood.

Congrats to the happy couple!

I need to talk about Jon Hamm for a minute.  The bad news?  He’s starring in a new movie Sucker Punch which is also featuring Vanessa Hudgens.  I think I talked about this movie before; it’s a fantasy flick and ‘Nessa plays a hooker.  The good news?  Because it’s a movie about hookers, there’s a good possibility that Hamm could appear naked.  The movie most likely be amazing just because of his ass participation.

I may have mentioned that I wished that I watched Mad Men from the start because it always looks like such a good show.  I get weird about series television — if I haven’t watched it from episode one on its original air date, I have a very difficult time bonding mid-season.  Issues … I know.  But in an effort to conquer my crazies, I took the plunge and am currently watching the series in the most schizophrenic manner possible.  I’ve seen half of the first season (the final two discs just arrived from Netflix!), every night I watch one or two episodes On Demand from Season 2, and Sunday night I watched the Season 3 premiere.  And I love it.  What a totally amazing riveting show!  So much of TV sucks so when you find something that has such subtle and unspoken elements, you want to hold onto that.  It’s like finding a front row parking spot at the mall.  On December 24th.  Magic.

And Jon Hamm?  Why was I ever wasting my time with Bradley Cooper?  As an aside, after watching BC in action in Yes Man, I’ve determined that he’s much hotter in print than on film.  So. Over. Him.  Okay, back to my new fiance, Jon.  This dude plays his character Don Draper with such amazing (I just realized that I used the word “amazing” about five million times in this piece) layered dimensions.  From minute to minute I can’t decide if I admire, hate or pity him.  Just.  Amazing.  Incredible.

So, yeah … I’m bummed that any cast member from High School Musical is going to share screen time with my beau, but I will be watching.  I’ll be watching everything that Jon Hamm does.  Forever.  And ever.