When Lindsay Lohan absent-mindedly left her cell phone on the counter at a deli in Little Italy, a store clerk kindly ran after her to return it. He knocked on the window of her cab and asked if the phone was hers. When he requested she verify the number on the phone, to make sure that the phone was indeed hers before handing it over, Lindsay attempted to snatch the phone from the guy’s hands, yelling, “I’m calling the police! I’m going to arrest you for not giving me my phone!”

A friend of hers dialed 911, and when the cops showed up, the guy handed the phone over to them. The cops themselves verified the number before giving the phone back to Lindsay.

The clerk commented, “I was just trying to be honest. Now I have police and trouble already,” adding, “Who is she? Is she a star?”

During a recent stop on the American Idol tour, singer Adam Lambert had a dildo thrown at him by an audience member while (ironically) performing a cover of “A Whole Lotta Love.”

Unfazed, the Idol singer– who has had handcuffs, whips, and bras thrown at him in the past– kicked the dildo right in its junk and sent it skittering back into the crowd.

He later told reporters, “I’m glad it was a soft material and wasn’t anything hard. I’m not really into S&M, but it’s definitely tempting.”

If you can sit through the seizure-inducing opening of the above video, you’ll see the fallus fly at about 2:15.

The Schiff went shopping with her gorgeous spawn Caspar Matthew and Clementine de Vere  Drummond (that’s a big name for such a small girl) in the Notting Hill section of London.

The soon to be 39 year old, tri-lingual mom of two looks so poised and put together, I feel like a total schlub sitting here in my stained jeans and Threadless tee on a Saturday, watching Style network. I’m going to go smear some kind of expensive beauty product on my face and run a brush through my hair so I don’t feel so inadequate.

In a completely unrelated bit of Schiff trivia, did you know that she didn’t get her ears pierced until she was 35?

Mila Jovovich and fiancé, director Paul Anderson, will tie the knot this weekend (possibly today) in Los Angeles.

“It’s just going to be family and close friends. And it’s at our home and it’s going to be kind of Havana/Cuban, like very California-Spanish feeling. It’s going to be nice.”

As for the wedding attire? The bride, 33, told PEOPLE she’s wearing a gown she designed herself and describes it as a “1960′s mini-dress.”

The couple have a daughter together, 20 month old Ever Gabo.

I’m happy for them, I guess. But with Adriana Lima falling off the beauty wagon, this means I no longer have any options for spur of the moment lesbian trysts that will never really happen in real life.

Because when it comes to lesbian trysts, I respect the sanctity of marriage.

v

Food, that is.

Victoria “Bag of Antlers” Beckham even refuses the meals offered to her when she flies first class.

Victoria’s nutritionist Monica Grenfell said: “Victoria’s always been a teeny little thing. She seems into her diet in a big way. Whenever we chat, she always asks me what she should and shouldn’t be eating. She’s very Audrey Hepburn looking, slim and neat. She’s strict with herself.

“When she goes on business lunches she’ll choose white fish and she’ll often pick at things rather than have big sit down meals.

“When we talked about the 11-hour flight to Los Angeles, Victoria told me she’s not that keen on eating on the plane. She prefers to catch up on her sleep and reenergise.”

Anyone who’s ever been trapped on an airplane for that long knows there’s nothing to do but eat, pee, and watch horrible movies. It’s fun to attempt to sleep– it kills more time– but it’s ultimately futile. Regardless, not eating for 11 hours when perfectly potable food is offered to you is not “being strict with yourself,” it’s being sick.

So for some reason LeAnn Rimes can stay married to a gay man for eight years, but she can’t stay for eight minutes to exchange insurance information after a car accident. Maybe. Rimes was questioned yesterday by LAPD regarding her possible involvement in a hit in run accident, which is a misdemeanor if she is charged.

Although officers have admitted to questioning Rimes, they won’t speak to what they found our or any details of the accident, including level of damage and whether or not anyone was injured.

Can we really see LeAnn Rimes pulling away from a car crash? I can’t imagine she has much paparazzi following her, so she wouldn’t be pulling a Britney. I think it’s more likely that she was a witness or that the other driver let her go and then regretted it after realizing who she was than her smashing up a car and taking off. Although, that is kind of a fun mental image.