Remember Mindy McCready?  All the media outlets are calling her a “troubled country singer”.  At what point do you lose the title of “singer”?  Like, is there a time frame, or is it one of those things where if you ever sang you get to be called a singer?  Because, if that’s the case, I am a singer.  

Anyway, she’s kinda, sorta involved in that whole mess with the Eric Dane and Rebecca Gayheart non-sex tape.  Mindy is on the upcoming season of Celebrity Rehab along with the third participant in the video, Kari Ann Peniche.  Peniche is accusing Mindy of stealing the video whilst they were roomies at rehab and leaking it onto the Internet — a theory which makes no sense considering those rehab people check everything including body cavities when you are admitted.  You aren’t allowed to bring porn or computers and cell phone access is limited, so how did Peniche bring her boring porn to rehab?

McCready has fired back at the accusations through an Access Hollywood interview saying,”I did not want to be dragged into all this. I did not want to be a part of this.  She is evil personified, she is evil in human form. She will hurt anyone she can to make money.”

Is there any chance that the producers at VH1 got a hold of this tape and leaked it?  Because right now, this Battle of the Irrelevants is the only motivating force behind me watching this upcoming season of Celebrity Rehab.

Okay, they aren’t engaged, but they were seen holding hands this weekend which means that a ring is obviously part of the plan.  Oh, and Jennifer has probably started fertility treatments so that she can have a baby with Butler.

Here’s the scoop:  Gerard and Jennifer had dinner together this weekend at NYC’s The Jane Hotel.  Let’s see — what else? — they had drinks and there was the aforementioned hand holding.  Clearly the evidence points to impending nuptials.

In case my sarcasm is lost in translation, I’m sure they had dinner together, held hands because they’re friends and stayed at the same hotel because they are filming The Bounty.  It’s so sad that it’s come to this, but any man that comes within 20 feet of Jennifer’s snatch is now branded in the media as “Jen’s New Beau!”

Speaking of vivid imagination, the folks over at Glamorati claim that Jen’s last “New Beau!” Bradley Cooper is recently engaged to Renee Zellweger.  Puhleeze.  Didn’t Renee already do the hasty engagement and marriage to a mildly effeminate dude that everyone whispers about?

Eric Dane and Rebecca Gayheart were seen at their house and out on the streets of L.A. this weekend and they were actually wearing clothes!  They look so serious — why?  Isn’t a sex tape — or in their case a really boring “Let’s Talk About Sex But Not Actually Have It” tape — a career must-have?

Rebecca looks like she’s going through the worst time of her life.  You’d think that after she mowed down a nine-year-old, any other scandal she would could face would be easy breezy.

I don’t know about you, but for the rest of my life I’ll always associate these two with sitting in a bathtub.

I love hearing about celebrities’ less-than-stellar moments, especially when they look like Charlize Theron.  Because if you look like Charlize Theron, I need to know that some part of your life is crap.  Apparently, Friday night was crap night for the actress.

“She leaned over the table and smacked some other guys ass,” an eyewitness tells us.

“Stuart looked pissed, and looked at her and said ‘Why did you do that?’”

Clearly she didn’t have a satisfactory answer, as our onlooker tells us the couple bickered all evening before heading out.

“They constantly fought the rest of the night together, and ended up leaving the party early in a big huff,” said the spy.

You know, I think her boyfriend better get over it.  I mean, he’s truly the luckiest man in the world to have hitched to her star for this long, so if she wants to smack some dude’s ass, he needs to just accept that.  I wonder when the TMZ video of all this will surface?

Hello loves! Need an amazing book to read for the end of summer? Head on over to Amazon and pick up a copy of my cousin Brigid Pasulka’s debut novel, A Long, Long Time Ago and Essentially True.

Here are some of the things the critics are saying about her novel:

National Geographic:

Pasulka poignantly portrays Poland’s checkerboard history in the latter half of the 20th century and the evolution of its national character under Nazi occupation, Soviet Communism, and post-Soviet capitalism. With a passion for Poland that suffuses each page, A Long, Long Time Ago & Essentially True rings hauntingly, enchantingly, real.

Bookmarks Magazine:

With the effortless, accomplished grace of a gifted storyteller, Pasulka weaves together the two strands of her story, re-imagining half a century of Polish history through the legacy of one profound love affair–that of the Pigeon and Anielica–which readers won’t soon forget.

Publisher’s Weekly:

Pasulka creates a world that’s magical despite the absence of magical happenings, and where Poland’s history is bound up in one family’s story.

Barnes and Noble Discover Great New Writers:

Pasulka has penned an ingenious and involving novel so compelling that readers will be reluctant to turn the last page.

Elle magazine:

This is storytelling that gets under your skin and forces you to press copies into your best friends’ hands.

This book has been getting mind-blowingly awesome reviews in EVERY publication that’s mentioned it. Nothing even lukewarm, everyone is just totally blown away by her talent and overall amazingness. Of course they are — she’s a Pasulka! :) Brigid is totally kicking ass with her first novel and I’m SO PROUD to be her cousin. GO CHECK IT OUT!!!

I’m sure Milla Jovovich has done plenty of important things in her career besides be the chick in The Fifth Element who was all like “Moooolteeeepasss” but I don’t really care about any of it. All I want to do is watch the clips of her saying “multipass” over and over and over again. It’s one of my favorite moments in all of cinema. (My very favorite is, as you all know, the Lindsay Lohan Georgia Rules row-boat blow-job scene.)

Milla Multipass tied the knot this weekend with her longtime boyfriend, director Paul Anderson, in front of about fifty guests. The couple have one daughter together, little Ever Gabo.