Today's Evil Beet Gossip

I Hope You’re Sitting Down

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The results of Michael Jackson’s autopsy have been leaked.  Cause of death?  Murder by ingestion of a lethal combination of drugs.  Shocking, I know.

Because the coroner’s office hasn’t made an official statement, the source spoke under the condition of anonymity.  He said that propofol as well as two other sedatives were found in Jackson’s bloodstream.  They would have been administered in the hours preceeding his death by Dr. Conrad Murray.  The affadavit also states that the propofol wasn’t ordered or received by Murray; he discovered it at Michael’s home.

Listen, there is no way Dr. Conrad Murray will be charged with murder.  I don’t think prosecutors have a case based on intent to end Michael Jackson’s life.  This will end at worst with a manslaughter charge and a soft sentence.  And decades of speculation, whodunit books, and tacky MJ commemorative merchandise.

6 CommentsLeave a comment

  • The coroner conclusions are just what I suspected all along; Michael Jackson died from Natural Causes.

  • uh, you said MURDER by ingestion of a lethal combination of drugs. How can the coroner conclude that it was murder if it was a drug overdose?
    Please clarify.

  • Just because Michael Jackson had a lethal combo of drugs in his system doesn’t mean that Murray administered all of them. We all know that MJ had a drug problem. What’s most likely is that Murray administered the fatal dose, not knowing that MJ had already taken something else before. People lie to their doctors every day; some people die from doing so.

    • True. Dr. Murray probably administered a lethal dose of drugs to Michael Jackson without realizing that Michael Jackson already had a lethal dose of drugs in his system. The two lethal doses apparently did not cancel each other out.
      People do lie to their doctors every day. But the last time I invited my doctor to my house, showed him that I had a better personal stash of drugs and equipment than in his pharmacy/clinic, then begged him to help me with my insomnia by giving me some deadly zombie ish that should never be administered outside of a truly clinical setting, he was a little skittish.

  • Im setting up an Etsy shop chock full of these adorable pill holders with MJ’s face on em.

    Get em while theyre hot bitches!!