Look you guys! Jon Gosselin is FIGHTING FIRE WITH FIRE by TAKING PHOTOS OF THE PAPARAZZI. Oh my God they HATE it when you do that. It gets them SO RILED UP. I mean, the resultant photos are FUCKING GOLD to them, which is SO ANNOYING. Oh, Jon. You are such a witty man.
I want to know more about the friend towering over Jon, making him look like the long-lost Little Rascal. I have such a weird thing for guys with shaved heads — especially when they’ve obviously shaved their heads because they’re balding. I feel like those guys try harder in the bedroom, because they know that, deep down, they don’t have any hair.