Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Marky Mark Ties the Knotty Knot

The Beautiful Bride

Mark Wahlberg did the matrimonial deed with girlfriend Rhea Durham yesterday in Beverly Hills. As usual, the paps were there to annoy the wedding party and generally cause chaos outside the church. We reap the rewards of their tresspasses with these pics of the happy couple looking not so happy about all the photographers crashing the party.

I understand wanting to keep your wedding day private– something special for family and friends only. But they would have done better to just smile and pose for a few pics on the way out the door.

There’s a fine line between the intruding annoyances of fame and downright invasion of privacy. But celebrities always come out looking better when they handle that intrusion with grace instead of futilely resisting it. Just like anal sex, if you relax and accept it, it can be fun. But if you resist it, you’re probably going to hurt yourself.

26 CommentsLeave a comment

  • wow, this article would’ve been a lot more enjoyable if i didn’t have to hear about your opinion on buttsex

  • Oh shutthef***up, guys! If Beet or Wendie had said the same exact thing, you would’ve laughed ’til you drooled. And they are both rightly capable of similarly vulgar comedy. Get over yourselves.

    Kelly, I think you’re spot-on and happen to agree with you on the anal! ;)

    • … and Sharon stays on theme by giving Kelly a rim job.

      Get over yourself. Just because you can’t tell the difference between “witty” and “crass” doesn’t mean that the rest of us live in trailer parks, too.

    • Kelly – I love your writing style!! I always agree with the sentiment of this site, but you say it exactly like I think it! You’re awesome – welcome! Fuck the haters.

  • Good for them for not ‘accepting it’ and letting the paps get a good shot on their wedding day!

    I love Mark Wahlberg and her dress looked beautiful!

  • And everyone but Sharon is right – I never would have laughed at this no matter who wrote it because you know what? They have every damn right to be upset. It is not their job to smile or make it easy for the invasive and abusive paparazzi to get their pictures that the agency, not the celebs, get the money from. I can’t believe you’d think throwing in some anal sex bs would blind people to the lie you’re peddling about how to deal with the paps. They would not be easier dealt with by posing and be done. They would just keep pushing and pushing.

    Oh, so sorry Beet couldn’t afford the pics where they weren’t snarling, because those are the ones I saw everywhere else. But hey, then you couldn’t have made your anal jokes.

  • Geez, take a chill pill everyone.

    She has a point.

    I mean, they must have known the paps were going to be there. Get a removable wall or something to block the view.

  • “Just like anal sex, if you relax and accept it, it can be fun.”

    LOL I think this is hilarious. Too many uptight people in here. Jeez…

    • “But if you resist it, you’re probably going to hurt yourself.”

      HAHAAA I agree–hilarious. I really enjoy your writing, Kelly.

  • Wow, I’m not sure about the people above me, but that was soo awesome Kelly!! You’re seriously so freakin funny. Hehehe!
    I’m gonna be thinking about that joke for the next week.
    Oh, and lube supposedly helps too lol.

  • Most of the above commenters really need to get the sticks out of their asses. So fucking uptight. You’re doing a fine job Kelly.

  • i just can’t believe you referenced anal and marky mark in the same story! anal is so rad, mm is not. ;)

  • thats it! you’ve just lost a reader – i come here to read about celebrities and you’ve made one sicko comment too many!!

    • Don’t worry about it Kelly, they’ll be checking back every hour on the hour for a little bit of reassurance that they are relevant on some level here, it’s the one saving grace in their sad life. ;)

      I don’t understand these people. It’s like people who moan about the “grammar nazis” in the comments and vow to never return. It’s as simple as skipping the comment section, just as it is as simple as not reading the articles by a writer that offends you. Some people take themselves far too seriously.

    • yep, I think those that claimed “you lost a reader” are probably the first ones to check this site every day thereafter.