I know you’ve all been sick and sleepless, worrying about the state of Mischa Barton.  I’m happy to report that she’s out of those chains that bind her, better known as a 5150, and in New York.  Presumably, she’s there to film for her new show, the one that I know is going to be a hit, The Beautiful Life.

I’d like to personally extend thanks to the mental health facility that helped to strip Misch of her lifelong liquid-eyeliner habit.  I know it’s one day at a time, but I remain hopeful that she experiences a lifetime of raccoon-free eyes.

Other than filming, next up for Mischa is an extensive therapy program designed to help her select one accent and stick with it.  Good luck, Misch!

Every time two moderately famous women start in a movie together, cat fight rumors ensue.  If they don’t go for weekly mani/pedis, tattoo each other’s name on their ass, and spend all their holidays together — you know, if they aren’t Jennifer Aniston and Courteney Cox — the media creates stories of conflict.  Usually, the stars are getting along just fine and the conflicting rumors are completely manufactured.  Usually.

At Comic-Con, Scarlett Johansson tried to put to rest rumors that she didn’t get along with her Iron Man 2 co-star Gwyneth Paltrow.  This was her attempt – it involves characterizing Gwyn as being clueless — at casting their working relationship in a positive light, when asked if there was truth to the rumors that the two fought:

Are there any truth rumors about the cat fight between you and Gwyneth Paltrow?

No, nothing could be further from the truth. I have nothing but wonderful things to say about working with her. Well, she’s very much out of the loop. She’s very much out of the loop, you know — she’s got a wonderful family whom she spends a lot of time with. So for her, she’s like, “What’s going on? What?” And of course Jon [Favreau] who’s on his Twitter, he’s crazy about any kind of news about anything. He’s like “You haven’t heard? You haven’t heard?” And he comes onto set and we’re both like, “Oh god.” Every time I would say to Gwyneth, “Oh yeah, that was on the seventh,” and she’d say, “Are you sure it wasn’t on the sixth?” He’d [Favreau] yell, “what? It’s a cat fight! It’s breaking out.”

I’m convinced.  Aren’t you?

I told you the other day that K-Fed was in talks to star in a reality show.  And since being paid to take care of your own kids isn’t necessarily riveting television, the producers needed another angle.  Boy, do they have one — weight loss!  

Federline has to have gained close to 100 lbs. since his days with Brit.  Come to think of it, I haven’t seen him with his two older kids — the ones he had with Shar Jackson — lately.  You don’t think he ate them, do you?  I think it’s entirely possible that this fame whore has purposely packed on the pounds so he could land a weight-loss reality show.  After all, he married someone to raise his own profile.  What’s a few Ring Dings?

Too bad the name The Biggest Loser is already taken.

“It’s gay. If one more person asks me if I have a Twitter, I’m going to tell them, ‘Twitter this [bleep], mother[bleep]er.’  I don’t have anything to say, and what I have to say is not that relevant. Anything that is relevant, I’m going to bottle it up and then squeeze it onto a record somewhere.”

Kid Rock talking to Rolling Stone about his general distaste for all things Twitter.  Do people really still say “It’s gay”?  Apparently so.

I can’t believe I just found this video this afternoon. Where the hell were you guys on this?? I should have had a minimum of 10 emails alerting me to this FANTASTIC clip that TMZ posted yesterday morning. Basically, Lindsay Lohan was waiting outside Samantha Ronson’s house at five in the morning, and when Sam came home she totally lost her shit. The paps got it all on tape. Sam is, of course, totally sober and sane, and Lindsay is wailing and crazy and obviously totally high. Here’s a basic transcript, courtesy of OK! magazine, or you can watch the vid here:

Lindsay: Samantha where were you? You lost it, what’s wrong with you? (Sam walks to her door, as Lindsay squeals to the other girl) Stop! Stop!
Sam: Who is this person?
Lindsay: (clearly confused crying) I’m your girlfriend!
Sam: No, who’s this other person here?
Lindsay: You know her…
Sam: So why were you yelling at her to stop?
Lindsay: Because she was just touching me. Where were you?!?
Sam: Okay. This one has to go.
Lindsay: Don’t talk to my friend like that, Samantha.
Sam: She’s on my property, I don’t know her, I want her out. It’s that simple.
(some unintelligible talking)
Lindsay: Where were you? Where were you? Where were you? Where were you? Where were you?
Sam: I was with my sister.
Lindsay: You’re lying!
Sam: Yeah, I’m lying. Seriously, please please. [To the other girl.] Go to the car, homie. I don’t know who you are.
Lindsay: I’ve been waiting for you for THREE HOURS.

Then the girl walks outside Sam’s gate, realizes (???) that there are paparazzi there, covers her face and stumbles out. Sam tells her to call a cab and even the paparazzi check to confirm she’s not driving. Then Sam and Lindsay head inside.

Samantha, WHY DO YOU PUT UP WITH THIS? This is total insanity. You seem like a relatively grounded woman. You’re dating a crazy child. And you’re not helping her by allowing this behavior.

I’m loving this shot of a DEA officer walking out of Dr. Murray’s office with folders. Why the mask and sunglasses? I betcha this guy works undercover when he’s not raiding the offices of drug-peddling doctors. Dr. Murray is the personal physician who was with Michael Jackson when he died. The DEA and the Las Vegas PD descending on his office today. They’re investigating him in connection with Michael Jackson’s death. Last week, they raided his Houston clinic.

I’m seriously kind of turned on by this officer’s whole get-up, though. I just realized that I wanna sleep with an undercover DEA officer! That’s SO SEXY! Plus: I bet he has some stellar blow.