CNN taped footage as they took a tour through the Neverland Ranch the other day.  What appeared at the entrance to Michael Jackson’s bedroom was just eerie beyond belief.  Or a shadow. 

I’d like to tell Larry King that it’s the last of his career walking out the door, but I digress.

Personally, I’m totally voting ghost here.  Only so I can say things like, “You thought he bleached his skin before?  He’s white as a ghost now!” and “He was seen at the ranch, but he was just a shadow of his former self.”

In addition to this, the first of many anticipated Michael Jackson sightings, keep your eyes pealed at Denny’s, Citgo stations, the produce department of all Piggly Wiggly locations, and at his memorial service tomorrow.  He will be seen!

I love when Lindsay Lohan takes to Twitter.  Any thoughts on what she finds “most amazing”?  I didn’t think she found anything amazing that wasn’t a derivative of the coca plant.  Shows what I know.

For more interesting, though admittedly less coke-fueled, tweets follow Beet here, Kelly here, and me here.

Kara DioGuardi, the American Idol fourth judge that no one understands the purpose of, got married this weekend in … Maine.

She married Michael McCuddy, a general contractor, this’ll never work and told People just a couple months ago about how, because he’s from Maine, he doesn’t like fancy things.  ”He’s from Maine.  He likes that earthy girl, just-out-of-the-shower look.”  So, in the spirit of all things unadorned, she wore a Vera Wang gown and $250,000 worth of Neil Lane diamonds.

No word on whether her co-judges attended, or whether Paula Abdul could have even located Maine on a map for that matter.

Let’s address the real question at hand:  Which will last longer — her marriage to a GC from Maine or her stint on AI?

I’ve heard that the heat makes some people grumpy.  Apparently, that was the case with Debbie Rowe as she exited an Indian restaurant yesterday and started throwing out threats and wagging her acrylics at overzealous paps.  With a temper like that, I hope the courts will require her to have some anger management classes before trying to raise preteens, because they do a hell of a lot worse than bump into you.

After the jump, see what New York Congressman Peter King had to say about the low-life pervert, better known as Michael Jackson.

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Everyone knows now that Sarah Palin is stepping down as governor of Alaska.  As The Last Frontier heaves a collective sigh of relief that is so deep it may sink the state into the Bering Sea, Palin’s father-in-law got the news a day late. 

Jim Palin was salmon fishing on Saturday, the day after Sarah’s announcement, when he read his email and learned that his daughter-in-law of the past 21 years had resigned.  ”We had no idea it was coming. Nobody seemed to know; they’re extremely private people.  Obviously, Sarah and Todd had thought it through and as far as the future lies, and based on what she said, I feel confident they have several options available to them and we will support them in whatever they do.”  

Sigh.  Can we just get down to the part where whatever the Palingate scandal is that’s brewing gets revealed?  Sarah Palin finally admits that Trig, her son born in 2008 isn’t really hers?  Footage of Sarah Palin at a Motel 6 in a passionate embrace with one of her aides gets released?  

We’re a strong people; we can take it.  Lay it on us, Sarah.

Chris Brown dodged jail for beating up Rihanna.  Instead of learning his lesson and trying to live a somewhat drama-free life, he spent Saturday night making out with Kanye West’s on-again, off-again girlfriend Amber Rose.  

Don Juan Chris, 20, arrived at Sean Combs’ and Ashton Kutcher’s party with his Rihanna look-alike on his arm, but eventually ditched her in favor of a public make out session with Kanye’s 26-year-old woman.  What, I beg of you, what is the appeal of this man boy? 

Make no mistake about it, this will be resolved by Chris punching Kanye in the face and Kanye sending ALL-CAP EMAILS to Chris.