This is so hysterical.  Some chemist, Jennifer Sunday, is suing Lindsay Lohan and her tan-in-a-bottle partner-in-crime Lorit Simon, claiming that the patchy twosome stole her formula for what eventually ended up being Sevin Nyne self-tanner.

According to Sunday, she was working on a self-tanner formula with Simon and they were in the price negotiation phase when Simon went forth and produced and marketed the product with Lindsay Lohan.  Now, she wants a cut of the profits.  Profits?  Bwahahahahaha!

Here’s a little business strategy that Jennifer Sunday is welcome to utilize:  Any parties responsible for participating in the development of Sevin Nyne should distance themselves from it as much as possible if they have any aspirations to land a potentially lucrative cosmetic product contract ever again.

Blake Lively, one of the chicks from Gossip Girl, is on August’s Glamour UK cover, proclaiming her inability to diet.  According to Lively, she has no willpower to eat well or exercise. 

“I do panic before I have to wear a really skimpy outfit, but I don’t have enough willpower,” she tells the August issue of UK Glamour Magazine. “I had to do a scene in a bra and shorts for the first time in two years,” she continues. “On the day of the shoot, I ate a pork burrito, chips and coke. Afterwards, I thought, ‘I probably shouldn’t have done that.’ But whatever.”

So maybe she doesn’t eat right, but at least she exercises, right? Wrong! “I have never worked out, but I know you feel better when you do,” she says, “so I am planning on getting a trainer.”

You know, I’m getting so sick and tired of all these “I Do Absolutely Nothing To Earn My Size Two Physique” confessions.  I want, like, Camryn Manheim to confess that she sleeps with a bag of pork rinds in her bed.  That I could accept.  Hearing that Blake “My Dress Size Will Always Be Eight Less Than My Shoe Size” Lively contributes absolutely nothing to her appearance is just … depressing.

Today is the Staples Center celebrity-studded bash memorial service for Michael Jackson.  If you live in L.A., I’d like to extend my condolences to you right now.  I predict that the city will be shut down.  Speaking of the city, isn’t Los Angeles running at a deficit?  Because this cluster is costing about $3.5M.  How is paying for this?  I mean, Michael Jackson was a singer.  Dead presidents don’t get this much honor.

The morning began with a private funeral service for family members to attend — that’s happening now.  Afterward, the 10-car motorcade will proceed onward to the Staples Center for the big concert memorial service. 

Originally the Jackson family intended on charging $25 a ticket, but that plan was quickly abandoned.  Hopefully, that plan was quickly abandoned because they realized that it was crass to capitalize on their son’s death.  The cynic in me asks:  “Who wants to take bets that there will be a Jackson Memorial Tribute DVD on the market before the holiday gift-giving season?”

Anyway, today would be a terrific day for any celebs to be arrested for solicitation or to get caught cheating.  Media coverage is going to be all MJ, all day.  And I’m sorry for that.

An old demo recording of Lady Gaga singing a song titled “Second Time Around” has surfaced on the Internet this week.  It’s a kinder, gentler, (more boring?) Gaga.

What do you think?  EB reader Kat — thanks for the email! — thinks she sounds like Mariah Carey.  I think Beyonce.  What say you all?

Joyce DeWitt, Janet Wood on Three’s Company, got arrested this weekend for a DUI.  What will all her friends at the flower shop say? 

I don’t know if I can even spit this out, but there is talk of a movie adaptation of T.J. Hooker.  That show was crap to begin with, so basically its a craptatation.

Bret Michael’s tour bus was involved in a crash over the weekend.  Everyone is fine, but after Bret’s broken nose last month, I can safely conclude that this is the most media coverage Bret has seen in the past 25 years.

Cameron Diaz posed on the front of V Magazine’s Beauty Issue dressed as eighties Madonna.  Actually, she’s dress as 1990 Madonna but most people were so high on coke in the eighties that they didn’t realize it was 1990 until 1991.  Enough said.

Rumer Willis — would we know of this child if it were not for her parentage? — is all set to assume a role on the new 90210 this fall.

She’ll be playing an outspoken lesbian student named Gia — of course her name will be Gia — who works at the school newspaper.  So,basically she’s Andrea — and you better say it like “Aundrea” — without the steady boyfriend.

I’ll tell you exactly how this storyline is going to unfold, so that you can spare yourself the next couple of seasons of this craptastic show.  Rumer’s character will be new to West Beverly.  She’ll arrive with a chip on her shoulder and a crack in her stone-cold heart.  She’ll be all about making the “West Beverly Blaze” the best high school publication possible and won’t have time for making friends and doing coke with all her Bev Hill friends.  All the popular kids will eventually rally around her during an intervention-like meet up at The Peach Pit — though on this new version, they all hang out at, like, nightclubs — and take her into their circle.  She’ll graduate high school and become the new editor of the “Beverly Beat.”

The end.