You’ll remember that Emma Watson flashed her underwear at the Harry Potter London premiere the other day.  Last night she appeared on Late Show with David Letterman to explain the wardrobe malfunction.  And, you know, Emma Watson is very charming and beautiful and gracious, but while watching this clip I had only one question that kept running through my mind:  Is her underwear showing?  Again?

We weren’t really speaking of perverts, but it sounds like we are now.

Morgan Freeman and his wife Myrna split in December, 2007 after 24 years of marriage.  A new report is out that claims Morgan and his wife had an open marriage and each pursued relationships outside the marriage.  You know, I have never understood open marriages.  I think it’s fine to schtup a bunch of people if that’s what you want, but why be married?  To experience the joy of joint tax returns and time with the in-laws?  Makes.  No.  Sense.

As it turns out, Morgan was having a ten-year affair with his step-granddaughter.  To put it in perspective, this young woman named E’Dena Hines is the biological granddaughter of Morgan Freeman’s first wife, but Freeman and his second wife helped raise her.  To furtherput the situation in perspective, ten years ago — when this affair allegedly began — E’Dena was 17 and Morgan was 62.  The year he became eligible for Social Security, she worked on getting a high school diploma.

The way the National Enquirer tells it, these two are planning on getting married.  Maybe they’ll have a daughter and Morgan can fix her up with, like, Ben Vereen.

Above is a picture of the — gag — couple at the Dark Knight premiere a year ago.  This just looks like normal, grandfatherly love … not, “I Bent You Over The Sofa Last Night” love.  Right?

The city of LA — already half a billion bucks in debt — shelled out another $1.4 mil to throw the biggest memorial bash in recent memory for Michael Jackon.

Matt Szabo, a spokesman for Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa, hailed the tally a success. He said it was “far less” than the initial estimate of $4 million.

The amount included $1.1 million in overtime pay for the 4,173 officers who worked to secure Staples Center, Forest Lawn cemetery and other areas that attracted fans and members of the media, the Police Department said in a statement. The remaining amount covered traffic control, cleanup and other costs. Part of those “other costs” were lunches for the cops, which were supplied by a restaurant 80 miles outside LA and cost $49,000.

But here’s the best part — they were prepared to have 250,000 people converge on downtown streets for the service. In the end? Only 1000 showed. I guess people really would rather watch this insanity from the comfort (and safety) of their own living room. Some common sense from the American masses? I neer thought I’d see the day.

Take a deep breath and allow yourself to be open to the possibility that Eddie Furlong’s 3-year marriage to 25-year-old Rachael Bella didn’t stick. Because it’s true. It may rock the very foundations of your world to hear this, but, if it’s any consolation, it’ll be a lot harder on their 3-year-old son Ethan.

Furlong is currently 31 years old. He’s been working steadily since his Terminator days, but nothing very big.

Oh, and just for fun: Remember when he used to date Natasha Lyonne? Mannnn that must have been a good year to sell crack in LA.

I dunno about you guys, but I’m picking up on a theme in Beyonce’s videos off of this record.

I think it’s a good time for a fill-in-the-blank game.

The theme of Beyonce’s videos from the I Am … Sasha Fierce album is: __________________ .

Your suggestions go in the comments.

You can watch the “Ego” video here and the “Single Ladies” video here. The “Halo” video breaks most of the rules, but it’s here anyway.

Does Michael Jackson deserve to adulation he’s received post-mortem? Here’s my story:

“So the Jackson story’s pretty much run its course?” a friend asked me tonight. “No,” I said. “At least six months more. At least.”

He was flabbergasted. “What could they be talking about for six months?”

Well, we’ll talk about the biological parentage of his kids, we’ll talk about who gets what in his estate, we’ll talk about who whore what to court and whether they were late; people will from time to time bring up the whereabouts of Bubbles and a potential feature film, at some point Macualay Culkin will have to weigh in, and then every now and then someone will make a very, very horrible but pee-your-pants funny joke about his death and I will laugh. Like what just happened a few hours ago. No, I’m not repeating it. But seriously. This is going to last FOREVER, so hop on the train and get a seat.

It’s a fascinating phenomenon, this public outcry of grief we see when a major celebrity passes. These deaths are an opportunity for mass catharsis. It’s not that these people are crying over Michael Jackson or Farrah Fawcett specifically; they’re externalizing pain that’s probably needed a release for some time. You see a sort of mob mentality take over — the grief feeds upon the grief. In today’s society, how often do we get an opportunity to stand on the street with strangers and share a good cry? It’s not really my style, but I can see the appeal. There are certainly less healthy outlets for pain.

Michael Jackson died from an accidental overdose of the prescription pills he was abusing. He died of addiction, which is a disease. That disease doesn’t make him a bad person, or less worthy of adulation, than if he’d died of cancer. Bill O’Reilly thinks otherwise.