Now that Mickey Rourke has rebounded and is probably somewhat flush again, it seems he’s throwing some of his newly-earned cash at his plastic surgeon … though I do find it near impossible that he’s actually paying someone to do this to his face.

Back in the ’80s, there was a show called Beauty and the Beast starring Ron Perlman and Linda Hamilton.  Just from the title you can probably figure out the plot.  In a greatly abridged nutshell, Vincent the man-beast falls in love with Catherine the beauty and society doesn’t understand.

If you’re failing to see the connection, it is this:  Why is Mickey Rourke’s plastic surgeon turning him into Vincent the man-beast?

At a time when websites are closing down left and right GOOP, Gwyneth Paltrow’s site that promotes spiritual betterment through buying quality cashmere, lives on. 

In her most recent entry, Gwyn acts like an ass by talking about what’s coming out of her ass.  If you eat healthy and take care of yourself — and you’d think that working out with Madge would qualify — you shouldn’t need to do a detox.  But she ballooned to a size four, so off to the colonic spa she went.  

Here are all the deets, so you and the rest of the masses can go on her detox plan.  Because really, who doesn’t want to be just like Goopaltrow?

“I am finishing the amazing three-week-long ‘Clean’ detox program,” the Oscar winner, 36, writes in her latest GOOP newsletter. “I feel pure and happy and much lighter.”

Paltrow, who earlier this year detailed a detox that she says helped her to shed unwanted holiday pounds, claims slimming down was her motivation this time, too. “I dropped the extra pounds that I had gained during a majorly [sic] fun and delicious ‘relax and enjoy life phase’ about a month ago,” she writes.

Paltrow turned to cardiologist and detoxification specialist Dr. Alejandro Junger for advice. His tips included avoiding processed foods and allergens and eating organic, as well as “[making]] time for ‘detox-enhancing’ habits such as sauna, massage, hot and cold baths and skin brushing,” he writes. “All of these improve circulation and increase perspiration, which help fuel your body’s natural cleansing system.”

For Paltrow, the best part of the program may have been her sense of renewed energy. “This program allowed me to work and exercise regularly, something I cannot do if I am on a liquid-only detox,” she says. “I followed it to the letter and I can report that it worked wonders.”

Oprah is working on a Brady Bunch reunion — and no, I don’t know why — and all surviving members are on board, except one.  According to Marsha, Marsha, Marsha (or, whatever, actress Maureen McCormick), Eve Plumb (Jan) won’t be attending. 

McCormick blogged:  “All of us said yes except for one person, Eve Plumb, who used to be my best friend but now apparently wants to distance herself from the show and, most troubling, from me … I have no idea why, unless she’s mad at the joke I made a few years ago that we’d had a lesbian love affair. I made the crack to be funny — and for shock value. I’m sorry if she took offense.”  Yeah, Maureen McCormick actually made the “joke” last year, just in time for the release of her autobiography “Here’s the Story.”  I’m sure it helped her sell a few books.

Plumb’s agent replied to the blog by stating, “No one from Oprah called. We haven’t turned down anything. There is no feud.”

The most shocking part of this whole story?  Eve Plumb has an agent.

Brooke Shields is heading to the big screen and let me tell you, this is going to be a good movie.  When I say “a good movie” I mean “a funny movie.”  And when I mean “a funny movie” what I really mean is “sooooo damn funny that such a piss-poor movie was ever produced.”  Even the title is bad.

Brooke has signed on to costar with Brendan Fraser in a movie called Furry Vengeance and no, it’s not porn.  As if the mere presence of Brendan Fraser wasn’t synonymous with box office gold, check out this plot:  Fraser’s character goes to battle with a gang of raccoons when he infringes on their territory.  The raccoons get mad and start plotting against him.  Oh, the hilarity!

When we get a release date on this flick, you’ll probably want to start advance ordering your tickets to avoid standing in the lines that are guaranteed to wend around the corner of your local theater.

You know that you’ve spent too much time researching celebrities when you start to recognize their re-dos of outfits.  Lily Allen is currently really into a black and white tunic that’s spending time in her closet.

She wore it on June 22nd to Nobu.

She wore it on July 1st walking on the streets of London.

She wore it — kinda — last night at the MontreuxJazz Festival in Switzerland.

Someone, get this girl some new clothes!  Preferably, something that fits!

Michael Jackson’s dermatologist Dr. Arnold Klein continued his media tour yesterday, appearing on CNN’s Larry King Live. 

Obviously, he was asked again if he was the parent of any of MJ’s children, and again he gave a total non-answer.  In this interview, Dr. Klein admitted that he once donated sperm to a sperm bank but notto Michael Jackson directly.  He won’t just say “No, I’m not the father.”  And the reason for that?  Well, nothing has been announced yet, but I suspect a book deal is in the works.

Jump, to confirm that Dr. Arnold Klein is actually the gatekeeper of The Wizard of Oz. (more…)