In Levi Johnston’s continuing attempt to extend his long-expired fifteen minutes of fame, he spoke at a press conference last Thursday in which he claimed that Sarah Palin resigned for financial reasons. 

Johnston recounted tales of the Palin family lamenting their inability to accept book and reality television deals due to Sarah’s political obligations.  He believes that is the motivating force behind Palin’s hasty departure from government.

Levi — and this dude’s only accomplishment has been to sperminate a politician’s teenage daughter, but he is working on some book and acting deals – has withdrawn his support for Sarah Palin, claiming he wouldn’t vote for her in a presidential race after she abandoned Alaska.

If that weren’t enough, he appeared on the Today Show where he basically said all the same stuff.  You can watch that here.

 Jackson has erased any doubt as to where she stands on the death of her brother Michael.  In a four-hour interview with News of the World, she shares her belief that her brother was murdered for his money and Beatles song catalog.  “We don’t think just one person was involved in the murder. It was a conspiracy to get Michael’s money.  I know who did it and I won’t rest until I nail them!”  While LaToya is busy screwing the suspects, I hope the police get involved in making some arrests.

She also discussed the condition of Jackson’s body as more evidence supporting her theory of foul play.  “He had many needle marks on his neck and on his arms, and more about those will emerge in the next few weeks. But nothing has changed my mind that this was murder and I won’t give up until I find out what killed my brother.  A couple of years ago Michael told me he was worried that people were out to get him. He said, ‘They’re gonna kill me for my publishing. They want my catalogues and they’re gonna kill me for these.’”

Michael’s sister asserts that the people who most closely surrounded the pop star controlled his environment and kept him from family.  “They tried to keep the family away at all times, even my dad.  Michael was being controlled. No one could get through to him.  We wanted to know why we were being kept away and my father Joe was always trying to get to see him. He tried so hard to be there for Michael. He was seen as a threat but he was trying to help. And if you keep the family away, you can conquer. It’s like they say, divide and conquer.”

LaToya also takes credit for ordering the second autopsy.  She already knows the result of the toxicology reports performed by the family’s coroner and could only say “I think everyone will be surprised when the results come out.”   Listen, the only way people are going to be surprised is if  his blood work comes back showing nothing except Flintstone vitamins.

LaToya had so much more to say — after all, when was the last time the media wanted to talk to her? — that you can read here.  Is there any doubt that she’ll be speaking to reporters for the rest of her life about Michael’s “murder,” children, and legacy?

It’s rare that we see these two together anymore, but Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman were spotted taking in a movie in NYC Sunday afternoon. I wonder if they saw Bruno!

For someone who said he didn’t want fame, a post-separation Jon Gosselin sure is taking advantage of it.

The father of eight is currently in St. Tropez, partying with Christian Audigier. Word on the street is that they’re thinking of “working” together, possibly on a children’s line.

Oh, also in St. Tropez with Jon? His girlfriend, 22-year-old Hailey Glassman. She’s the daughter of Kate’s former plastic surgeon.

Kate, for her part, is hanging out in Reading, Pa with the kids. This must be a really fun weekend for her, especially since these photos hit the web. I’ll tell ya, whatever hostility you may feel toward Kate, she’s paying big time right now for the missteps in her past. I can’t imagine how much this must suck for her. I feel genuinely bad for her. I understand Jon’s position, and I understand his desire to date, but I think there are less conspicuous ways to take your barely-legal girlfriend on vacation.

It’s hard to believe that a full year has gone by since the Brangelina twins were born. Or does it seem like it’s been way more than a year? I don’t know. I change my mind every thirty seconds. But Vivienne Marcheline and Knox Leon turned one today, and I’m pleased to see that we’ll still worshiping non-Jolie-Pitt deities. It’s just a matter of time, though, before these children grow up and become a religion. A beautiful, pouty-lipped religion.

I saw Bruno last night in New York City. Since it’s an 88-minute movie, it was showing about every 45 minutes in damn near every theater in Manhattan. We had hoped to go to the 9:05 showing, but that was sold out, in addition to the 9:45 and the 10:05. We managed to get tickets for the 10:25, in a theater the size of a small basketball stadium. Which was packed. The audience was screaming with laughter the entire time. Throughout the movie, I just kept turning to my friends and saying “Oh my God.” Those were the only words I had. That and “Oh no.”

So it’s no surprise that the film topped the box office this weekend, although I’m a little surprised to hear it only brought in $30.4M, with only $9M of that on Saturday (a 37% drop from Friday’s numbers). I was expecting larger numbers, but I guess I forgot that the whole world isn’t exactly as open-minded as the Lower East Side. I’m sure once word got out about some of the more, uh, explicit moments in the film (I won’t give away details), people in other parts of the country decided to give the film a pass.

Still, it’s exceeding studio predictions, and it’s on track to do better than Borat. Congrats, Sacha.