You know, only Mariah Carey could have such an intense level of self-worship to sing a song and film a video that’s all about someone being obsessed … with her. 

A couple of weeks ago, I posted some pics from the video shoot and felt, and still feel, that this whole production is totally directed toward Eminem.  Of course, Mariah denied any connection, which I hate.  If you’re going to obviously slam someone in the most public way possible, just own it.  Take me for example:  I totally admit that Mariah Carey is a self-involved, marginally talented pop tart that needs to abandon her formula of getting up on all fours and writhing around like a sloth imprisoned in spandex.  Opinion.  Owned.

Jump in if you want to read all the words to this lyrical masterpiece.  Which begs another question:  Mariah, what did the word “are” ever do to you?  Use it!  It’s an important word.

(more…)

Jon Gosselin’s new girlfriend Hailey Glassman hasn’t accepted my Facebook friend request just yet, but she was stupid enough to accept one from someone at HuffPo.  And the pictures behind the pearly gates known as a private profile — and oh, how I hate those.  They hamper my cyber-stalking so much — really tell the story of any average 22-year-old college student.  I also threw in her 2005 mug shot — she was arrested for drug possession and consumption — for good measure.  Let’s hope for everyone involved that Jon Gosselin is just enjoying this chick’s trick pelvis and he isn’t planning on marrying her or anything as illogical as that. 

Do you think Jon Gosselin is sick of himself yet?  I know we’re all totally over Jon, but do you think he’s had a conversation with the douche in the mirror yet?  And didn’t you totally think Kate was going to be the media whore?  As Jon chilled, getting bjs and a sunburn on  a yacht in St. Tropez, Kate was at home sitting on a blanket in her yard while her kids played.  I never would have called it that way, but I’m totally moving to Team Kate.

“She’ll have a lot of input with Christian.  And I will, too.”

Jon Gosselin, in a People magazine interview explaining how his 22-year-old girlfriend will be collaborating with him and designer Christian Audigier on a new children’s clothing line.

“Christian is absolutely not starting a kids’ clothing line with Jon.  As of right now, there is no clothing line in the works between them at all.”

A rep for Christian Audigier, denying that Jon Gosselin and his 22-year-old girlfriend will be collaborating with the designer on a new children’s clothing line.

Debbie Rowe has decided not to pursue custody for the two biological children that she carried for Michael Jackson.  I say “decided not to pursue” which in the case of Debbie Rowe, will always mean “received a really large financial settlement.”

In an agreement drawn up between the Jackson family lawyer and Debbie’s lawyer, Rowe will receive a payment of approximately $4M in exchange for terminating her parental rights once and for all.  Thankfully, there is a clause that prohibits her from shaking down the next guardian-in-waiting if Katherine Jackson were to die.  I guess you could say this is an “All Sales Final” deal.

Let’s see, this makes the third time Debbie Rowe has sold these children.  When she gave birth to them, she received $8M and $900,000 a year for five years.  Then when the sexual abuse allegations surfaced, she brokered a deal for another $4M and a house worth almost a million bucks.  My basic math skills tell me that these kids have been sold for almost $22M at this point.  I find this so sad. 

Meanwhile, Joe Jackson wants a Jackson 3 (Michael’s three children) group to be formed, the other Jackson brothers that were to be a part of a new reality show are upping their demands from $200,000 for the pilot up to $10-20 million, and Michael’s body has been removed from its temporary resting place at Forest Lawn to undergo more testing.  These.  Poor.  Children.

I didn’t even know Holly Madison was dating an aged-looking Verne Troyer back with Hef but it looks like they made it official this weekend.  Man, that osteoporosis has hit Hef hard, huh?  He’s shrinking by the minute.  

(Incidentally, this is the type of crap people do when they are sick and tired of all the media attention going to Michael Jackson.

More pictures of the happy couple in the gallery.

Disney darling Vanessa Hudgens is set to star later this year in a new movie titled Sucker Punch.  The plot centers around a group of institutionalized girls who delve into a fantasy world.  Hudgens’ character is a hooker in a 1950′s brothel so we can expect lots of (intentional, this time) nudity.  Doesn’t this sound Oscar-worthy?

Vanessa admits of her wardrobe, “there’s not a whole lot of clothes!”  She also confesses to doing things she “would never have imagined doing.”  Sure, Vanessa.  I’m sure strutting around naked was such a stretch for you.  Whatever you need to say to keep your owners Disney happy.