Jul 24, 2009 at 10:00 am by Wendie

It’s Friday, I’m feeling liberated, I’m just going to speak my mind — because I’m usually so inhibited — and tell it like it is.  I do not understand the attraction, appeal or interest related to the cast of Twilight.  They don’t have enough spirit to hold up their heads or their moods.  That whole greasy, unwashed, flannel-donning era is so done,  Played out via grunge, Seattle, 1992.

Anyway, Kristen Stewart, Taylor Lautner and Robert Pattinson did a press conference at Comic-Con in San Diego.  Pattinson talks about the development of his character — he obviously takes this vampire shit really seriously — and Taylor Lautner spoke a little bit too.  

Personally, I like the part at the (approximately) 2:30 minute mark when Kristen Stewart tells the press core that no question is off-limits and then again at 3:00 when a reporter asks about the possibility of a real-life romance with Robert Pattinson and she refuses to answer that question.

Kristen, I know that your current fame is a completely annoying burden that you liken to a recurring yeast infection, but enjoy it now.  Once these Twilight movies are played out, you’ll be begging your agent to get you a Crest commercial.

Jul 24, 2009 at 08:36 am by Wendie

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Things are turning around for Amy Winehouse.  She’s put on a couple of pounds, I think she’s had some teeth replaced, and now she’s been acquitted of assault charges.  As I mentioned yesterday, Winehouse had been accused of punching — I mean, flinging her flea-bitten fist — at a fan’s face last fall.

It seems that the judge bought Amy’s defense that she is too short to punch someone in the face.  District Judge Timothy Workman found the singer not guilty since it could not be determined if the punch was intentional or not.  Basically, just about everyone involved in either participating or witnessing the event was drunk at the time.

Congrats to Amy for this twenty-third second chance.  It should be at least six months before you have another court date.

Jul 24, 2009 at 07:30 am by Wendie

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Here’s my favorite — and when I say “favorite” I really mean “tranny that stole my fiance Josh Duhamel” — singer Fergie leaving a L.A. studio yesterday wearing the carcass of an owl.  I also threw a pic of the backside of our gal Fergie into the gallery.  Her legs are as smooth as a baby’s Mischa Barton’s bottom.

Jul 24, 2009 at 06:38 am by Wendie

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Hey, check out the new model for Hudson jeans.  She’s 17.  This picture has stirred up some controversy, but I’d totally let my teenager pose topless with her ass pointed toward the world all in the name of peddling denim.  Wouldn’t you?

This gal has famous parents.  Parents rich enough to afford to get those teeth fixed.  Can you tell who spawned her?  Answer after the jump.

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Jul 24, 2009 at 03:00 am by Wendie

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Katie Holmes was on the 100th episode of So You Think You Can Dance last night.  (I always want to put a question mark at the end of that show title.)  I’ve got the clip for you.  Unless you want to watch Katie scratch herself and look dead in the eyes, fast forward to about the two-minute mark.  There, you can watch Katie lip-sync and look dead in the eyes.  Enjoy!

Edited to add:  The reviews are in!  You know, I just cruised over to Twitter to see if Solange Knowles ever.  stopped.  copying.  me.  and saw that Shanna Moakler just posted this Tweet:  ”I am fckn INSULTED, Katie Holmes how dare you! maybe if I suck Tom Cruise off I can be Ann Miller for a day. Shame Shame Shame.”  Like, she seriously couldn’t have sacrificed a comma or exclamation point in exchange for having enough available characters to be able to spell “fucking”?  (Screen grabbed it for when the coke and martinis wear off and Shanna deletes it.) 

Edited again:  I’ll add any more coke-fueled Tweets valuable Shanna Moakler commentary that she posts.


Jul 24, 2009 at 12:01 am by Evil Beet

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Here’s Milla Jovovich to remind you what your legs could look like if you actually went to the gym every time you thought about going to the gym but decided instead to watch that My Fiance Prefers to Have Sex with Dogs But I’m Going to Marry Him Anyway episode of Jerry Springer. (“Jerry, I know he’ll change! He won’t have time to do that stuff with our terrier anymore. Because I’m pregnant!”)

Thanks, Milla!