Hello my loves!

Just a quick little FYI about a change in the roster around here. Kelly will, per her request, be gracing us with her special brand of comedic genius only every other weekend. I know, I know. I’m bummed about it too, but I’m very grateful she wants to stay on board and continue to write for you guys while she pursues other careers and, ya know, a social life, which can be hard to have when you work seven days a week.

But here’s the really awesome news:

On the weekends Kelly’s not around, I’m really really really excited to announce that we’ll have the fabulous Molly McAleer on board — starting tomorrow. I will let her do a formal introduction herself tomorrow when she starts, but I will tell you guys that I have been a big fan of Molly since her days on Defamer, and have followed her personal blog, and have watched some amazing episodes of her web show. I think it was about a year ago that I started to beg her to come work for me, and I finally got her to say yes! She’s also been doing video pieces over on our sister site, Zelda Lily.

I’m really looking forward to reading Molly’s posts. I know she’s extremely creative and insightful and funny, and I suspect it’ll be a blast.

But, per usual guys, please be nice. It’s her first weekend.

This morning, I read that Iron Chef’s Cat Cora had a baby.  My initial reaction:  ”Wait.  How did she do that?  Didn’t she just have a baby three months ago?”  I just feel like I’m always reporting that Cat has given birth to a boy.

As it turns out, Cat’s wife, Jennifer gave birth to Cat’s biological son, Thatcher Julius, in April.  Cat gave birth to a boy that I believe is her wife’s biological son, Nash Lemuel Cora, at the end of last week.  

Nash joins, in addition to Thatcher, older brothers Zoran and Caje.  I have no idea which kid is biologically linked to which parent and it doesn’t really matter.  I would like to know who is responsible for naming these children so I can fight them for custody of their baby names book.  Clearly not competent.

Last night Lindsay showed up at Millions of Milkshakes in L.A.   Perez Hilton was somewhere in the swarm, Twittering that Lindsay actually tipped off the paps that she would be there.  Which, you know, I’m sure that’s true, but she looked so shocked by the crowd when she arrived.  I’m starting to think LL does have some acting talent, after all.

As the pictures show, the first thing the owner did was slap an apron on Linds who was basically sans bra and in a nightgown.  They went about the business of making shakes and you can see that Linds was very, very confused about mix-ins.  The employee tried to explain the process to her, but she still didn’t catch on.  Eventually, someone yelled, “Pretend you’re making a speedball!”  Things clicked.  And in case you aren’t familiar with my brand of humor, that didn’t really happen.  Well, the confusion did actually happen but the speedball tutorial did not.

If you’re looking to watch twelve scintillating minutes of Linds arriving in a state of shock, Linds comparing IQ points with a baby, and Linds being alternately flummoxed and terrified by the complex task of food service, get a drink — It is National Tequila Day — and click here.

Okay, so the #1 ranked tennis player in the world, Roger Federer and his new wife Mirka attended a post-tournament party a couple weeks back and I saw this picture of the two of them.  I almost posted it along with posing the question:  ”If Roger Federer’s wife is only expecting one baby, why does it look like her ass is ready to give birth to a kid all its own?”  I figured it was too mean — I have a soft spot for the preggos — but I was right on the money!  Should’ve listened to my instinct.

Though the Federer’s claimed they were expecting a boy, Mirka actually gave birth last week to twin girls; Charlene Riva and Myla Rose made their appearance on July 19.  Federer’s website states:  ”This is the greatest day of our lives. Mirka, Myla and Charlene are all healthy and doing very well.”

That was the worst headline ever and you all should totally be giving the finger to your monitors.  Right.  Now.  I deserve it.  But, it’s Friday and it’s a slow news day, Katy Perry has crazy eyes and I’m only human.

Pictures of Katy Perry this morning — Witness my restraint.  I’m not saying that she took a gamble by wearing that atrocious dress and I’m not saying that it looks like crap(s) — performing outside the Today Show studios and admiring some plastic bananas.  Katy Perry.  Fuzzy dice dress.  Bananas.  You can draw your own conclusions.

Kendra Wilkinson has a book deal.  Just let that sink in.

Kendra Wilkinson has, in a complete stroke of genius, found yet another way to extend what should have been 22 seconds of fame into another business venture.  ”I feel like the luckiest girl in the world.  I have a husband I adore, a baby on the way, and now my memoir is going to be published!”

She should feel like the luckiest girl in the world.  It just isn’t that easy to land a book deal.  It takes a very specific combination of talent, marketability (and in Kendra’s case silicone and luck) to accomplish this.  Obviously, this project is happening but it’s probably not too late to start a letter-writing campaign to the publisher insisting that she isn’t allowed to laugh on the audio book recording.

No exact word on what this book will cover, except that it’s a ”humorous, relatable, fish-out-of-water tale”.  The yet-to-be-titled memoir — how about “No Bunny Cares What You Have To Say”? — is set to be released next summer.  Get that shit on your Amazon pre-order right away.