Let’s play a game.  It’s called “What’s Wrong With This Statement?”  Okay, this is a quote that came out of the mouth of 23-year-old Megan Fox at the Comic-Con this weekend.  And in case you need a reminder, it’s currently 2009:

“I actually have a very intense fear of the dark.  The last horror movie I saw — I think it was called The Tooth Fairy – was in 2005, and I was 15 years old. After I saw it, I slept with my mother for two weeks afterwards!”

I know we have already concluded that Megan Fox isn’t the brightest slut on the block, but this clearly confirms it.  

I don’t even think she misspoke.  On some level, she believes she’s still a teenager.  When asked how she feels about appearing in a scary movie, she said, “It’s cool to see myself being able to scare people, because I’m just a little girl.  Look at me: I’m so sweet!”

Gag.

It has been revealed that Farrah Fawcett left the bulk of her estate, six million dollars, to her drug-addicted son Redmond.  The money is in a trust that will be doled out to him, hopefully to assist him in living a comfortable life without helping to support his habit.  Personally, I think any kind of allowance for a heroin addict who hasn’t accomplished a significant period of sobriety is a bad idea.

And though Fawcett was with Ryan O’Neal for almost 30 years, she didn’t make mention of or provisions for him.  No wonder he was trying to chase her from her death bed to the altar.  He was probably trying to secure a place in the will!

The 19-year-old Joe Jonas and his actress girlfriend Camilla Belle have split, a fact that was confirmed by her rep.  ”Yes, it’s true.  [Joe and Camilla] have broken up. There is no third party involved and they care deeply about each other and will remain friends.”

For Joe’s part, he made a public statement of his own at a concert Sunday night in Detroit.  He changed a line of song lyrics from “Get a rep for breakin’ hearts, now I’m done with superstars” to “Get a rep for breakin’ hearts, now I’m done with movie stars.”  

Oh, the teenage angst of it all.

Who needs a shower and a mani and some shoes in a public venue?

(more…)

It certainly was no surprise that Rupert Everett’s big mouth finally got him fired from a job, but I was surprised to hear that the job he got fired from was as a contributing editor at Vanity Fair.  I read VF every month and have never seen a piece by Rupe, but apparently he did write some columns for the mag.

In an interview, Everett called Vanity Fair editor Graydon Carter “rather fat”.  Hysterical!  Carter, who is rather fat, had Rupert fired from his post after the interview went to press.

What has this taught us, kids?  Don’t call your editor “fat”.  Or, in my case, don’t make fun of your editor for moving to Seattle in search of drear,  only to be met with the sunniest Seattle summer in recent history.

Have you ever noticed that Michael Lohan is really good at focusing on anyone’s problems but his own?  He’s still holed up with Jon Gosselin and Star reporter “Kate Major-ly Insane” on Long Island and has now taken on the responsibility of speaking on Jon’s behalf.  I’d have to say that Michael Lohan is the last person that I’d want talking to People — to anyone — about me, my kids, or my relationships.  The last.  

Even as Jon Gosselin prepares for divorce, he hopes to remain close to his wife Kate, mom to their eight kids, according to pal Michael Lohan. 

“He would love to be friends with her,” says Lohan, the estranged father of Lindsay Lohan, who’s been showing Gosselin around the Hamptons. “They had eight kids and he would like to work things out the right way and just be friends.” 

The new buddies spent Saturday in Southampton, attending a business meeting, walking on the beach – where they were met by paparazzi – and shopping at a J. Crew store for clothes to wear to a polo match in Bridgehampton that afternoon. 

“A lot of opportunities are opening up for him,” Lohan says of his friend, referring to possible endorsement deals. 

Lohan also says Gosselin is in a good mood these days. “He’s fantastic and upbeat and said that he just wanted to concentrate on his kids and his career and his life,” he said. “It’s overwhelming for him but he’s handling it.” 

As for for Gosselin’s gal pal Hailey Glassman and the former Starmagazine reporter Gosselin’s been spotted with, Kate Major, “he’s not with either one right now,” Lohan reports. “He’s not concentrating on a relationship with any woman. He just wants to take a step back and deal with his family and his kids.” 

Now that Michael Lohan has found his way back into the spotlight, sources are coming out to People to say that Lohan needs to focus on the $12,000 he owes in back child support instead of attending polo matches with some reality-television dad-to-many.  

It’s hard to believe that there are any underage Lohans, but Ali is 15 and Dakota is 13.  I’m ashamed to say that I didn’t know there was a Dakota Lohan.  

Michael, the man who has an answer for everything, responded to the allegations.”That’s a total lie. I pay Dina and the kids cash all the time.”  Paying court ordered child support?  Not a good idea.

I truly hope Michael Lohan isn’t counseling Jon Gosselin on relationships.  Or parenting.  Or wardrobe.