I don’t even know where to begin. First of all, what is Samantha Ronson doing with my beautiful lesbian crush Portia De Rossi? According to my close scrutinizing, she’s just sharing a lighter. Let’s hope it stays that way. I don’t want my Portia anywhere near Sam “Concert T” Ronson.
Secondly, why is my beautiful lesbian crush looking like the general unwashed masses? It’s her job to look stately and stunning and lipstick-ish. Her clothes are dirty and she’s … she’s wearing her cellphone on her waistband!
Finally, and I find this a very difficult question to even pose, is that a raccoon tail I see?