Today's Evil Beet Gossip

You Know It’s Bad When You Can’t Get Russell Brand To Have Sex With You

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Normally, I don’t believe anything The Sun reports, but in my heart of hearts I’m hoping this story is true. 

It seems that Lindsay tried to bed Russell Brand — or get “the dinkle treatment” as the British tabs like to call it — over the past few weeks that she’s seen him on the party circuit and he’s been … declining.  A source said, “He finds her constant craving for attention and her heavy drinking a turn-off. It’s not like he is short of female attention anyway.”

Now, you may be thinking “Who cares?  Maybe he’s gay.  Maybe he doesn’t like coked-out redheads.”  And normally, you’d be right, but this is Russell Brand I’m talking about.  He has sex with a different woman approximately every eight hours.  Russell Brand’s penis is like Ellis Island, literally processing thousands and thousands of citizens each year.  So, you know, “discriminating taste” isn’t exactly his calling card.

Aw, Linds.  You can’t get work.  You can’t get even skin tone.  You can’t get laid.  How many more signs do you need?  It’s time for rehab.

10 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Lindsay has been staying at Samantha Ronson’s house every time they’re both in LA. I call BS on this story,

  • we’re ragging on Lindsay Lohan, and not a word against this philandering man??
    the “new woman every 8 hours” statement is worthy of more criticism then a probably false rumor about LL

  • Yeah, although I find Russell amazinly attractive he is nothing but a male slut. Let’s set the same standards for both male and females or are we just jealous of those of both sexes that get more than we do?

  • Russell Brand’s standup is entertaining but he is anything but sexy…. Even if this rumor is false, Lindsay’s desperate need to be wanted makes her prime fodder for such dubious tales.

    Her co-dependency on SamRo is sad and destined to bring her nothing but continuing heartache. LiLo looked such a fool following Sam around London while she was working there. Obvious that Sam pretends to distance herself from Lindsay to placate her family, but, then every night LiLo is waiting in Sam’s hotel room or her house…

  • this story is bs anyway, the exact same story went the rounds a year ago in the even worse daily star in the uk.looks like the sun just took it and updated it slightly-kind of funny. whats not so funny is how russell brand and lindsay lohan has a reputation for the same things : slutting, struggles with substance abuse and attention whoring. yet somehow lohan is continusly trashed for it and brand is seen as some sort of lovable rough over even given awards like shagger of the year. its pretty backwards and disgusting that we still live in such a misogynist world. and i wish evilbeet (everyone not just sasha) would be sharper when interpreting gossip and cut through the double standards. there is so many perez hiltons out there who just hate on young girls and appalaud men for doing the exact same things.