Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Gwyneth Paltrow Detoxes, Still Can’t Get Rid Of Self-Righteousness

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At a time when websites are closing down left and right GOOP, Gwyneth Paltrow’s site that promotes spiritual betterment through buying quality cashmere, lives on. 

In her most recent entry, Gwyn acts like an ass by talking about what’s coming out of her ass.  If you eat healthy and take care of yourself — and you’d think that working out with Madge would qualify — you shouldn’t need to do a detox.  But she ballooned to a size four, so off to the colonic spa she went.  

Here are all the deets, so you and the rest of the masses can go on her detox plan.  Because really, who doesn’t want to be just like Goopaltrow?

“I am finishing the amazing three-week-long ‘Clean’ detox program,” the Oscar winner, 36, writes in her latest GOOP newsletter. “I feel pure and happy and much lighter.”

Paltrow, who earlier this year detailed a detox that she says helped her to shed unwanted holiday pounds, claims slimming down was her motivation this time, too. “I dropped the extra pounds that I had gained during a majorly [sic] fun and delicious ‘relax and enjoy life phase’ about a month ago,” she writes.

Paltrow turned to cardiologist and detoxification specialist Dr. Alejandro Junger for advice. His tips included avoiding processed foods and allergens and eating organic, as well as “[making]] time for ‘detox-enhancing’ habits such as sauna, massage, hot and cold baths and skin brushing,” he writes. “All of these improve circulation and increase perspiration, which help fuel your body’s natural cleansing system.”

For Paltrow, the best part of the program may have been her sense of renewed energy. “This program allowed me to work and exercise regularly, something I cannot do if I am on a liquid-only detox,” she says. “I followed it to the letter and I can report that it worked wonders.”

13 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Look at her face. She looks good in photographs, but if you saw her in person she’d literally look like a skeleton with skin. Bleh! And I wonder how much this detox program costs? What a wanker.

  • Saunas, massages and skin brushing? Well, hell. Let me just get my live-in nanny to watch my kiddies while I order my personal driver to take me to the nearest spa so I can jump on this detoxing train.

  • Detoxing is stupid. Starve yourself- drop weight. Go back to normal life- gain weight that was lost. Stupid Goopaltrow.

  • Wow! I really think you guys are being harsh! There is nothing wrong with being eco friendly -I guess you all are just another kind of green…? and as far as the detox goes, I don’t think it hurts your body, is it necessary? -maybe not. As far as the selfrighteousness goes, you guys on this site are infected by that too. Maybe even more so that Gwyneth! Way to go!!!

  • I don’t care what you think, I love her. She is healthy and smart about what she puts into her body. So many americans die of cancer every day- a lot of my relatives included. I feel a lot of this is due to the junk we put into our bodies.

    • I agree – she is right on in her philosophies about health and wellness – but I think the issue people have with her is in her delivery. She is smug and seems to assume everyone has thousands to throw around. Her family was wealthy – I doubt she’s ever worried about money a day in her life. She’s preachy but not at all in touch with the common man.

  • Every time this bitch opens her mouth I want to find the closest, sharpest instrument and shove it hard and fast into my ears, get into my brain and break all of the important meat in my head up into gray sad mush. She makes me want to die. “Make time for massages” Bitch suck my fucking dick, please! Suck it…

  • I researched this detox and it is totally doable with out the $350 price tag. I’ll get my own shakes and supplements, and do the shake for breakfast-solid meal for lunch-shake for dinner thing no problem. I love GP and, even though she’s out of touch with middle class America, I think her heart is in the right place. She wants to help the environment, she wants to help people, she’s married to one of the greatest musicians in the world – what’s wrong with that?

  • I don’t see how there is a reason for anyone to do these stupid “detox” things where you life off wheat grass and lemon peel. Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t that what your kidneys, spleen and liver are for? If you’re eating healthy and not abusing drugs, what do you need to detox?

    • >what do you need to detox?

      The reason it is necessary to detox is because nobody is perfect. We put so much junk into our bodies that we are unaware of. Even cooking with Olive oil releases free radicals. And I know only a few people who can turn down a basket of french fries. Anyway, before I go on a tangent, we ALL need to detox to keep our livers, spleens and kidneys healthy. If you are in a big city like L.A., think of all that gross air we breath!