Sharon Stone was one of many celebs on hand yesterday for the Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric Aids 20th Annual A Time For Heroes Carnival.  Look in the gallery for another picture of Stone — what has happened to her?  She looks positively anorexic.

Those Hillschicks were there too:  Lauren Conrad, Kristin Cavallari and Stephanie Pratt as well as other people no one cares about, like Shanae Grimes, Melissa Joan Hartless and Billy Baldwin.

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz appeared with baby Bronx, as well as a smiley Vanessa Minnillowho posed with a not-so-smiley Nick Lachey.  Denise Richards arrived with her thirdset of boobs and RumerWillis arrived with her chin.

Miley Cyrus performed and did a whole lot of extension flinging.

I’m really shocked, because I thought Lindsay had been sober since going to Promises back in 2007 — that’s sarcasm, folks — but I guess I was wrong.  Some dude who writes for Mirror, tells the tale of a caged Lindsay, texting Samantha Ronson, drinking vodka and generally freaking out at a nightclub.

I’m used to celebrities getting wasted, making fools of themselves and larking around.

But what I witnessed at London’s Cuckoo nightclub this week was beyond anything I’ve ever seen before.

Step forward fallen movie star Lindsay Lohan who was on the table next to me at the Swallow Street venue.

I watched open-mouthed as Linds sat with her straggly hair all over her face looking strangely detached from the world and mumbled: “I feel so, like, caged. Totally caged.”

Unfortunately, the creepy behaviour continued as Lindsay and her posse visited the bathrooms.

My spy tells me: “She just wouldn’t stop saying she felt caged. She was just not all there and it really was like watching a broken girl in the middle of a complete breakdown.

“She spent much of the night furiously texting Sam Ronson – and wasn’t best pleased about the texts she was getting.

“Everyone with her was actually very concerned about her. She seemed like a girl on the brink of self- destruction.”

And there was even more cause for concern when Linds returned from the loo.

My jaw once again dropped as Lindsay – who had a vodka in hand throughout the night – squirmed around as if trying to hide in a ball on the floor.

It’s no secret that I’m no fan of Lindsay the celebrity.  But, just as a story about a human being who is so obviously lost, this story makes me so sad. 

Isn’t there a way for family members to commit her to a detox program before she ends up dead?  While everyone in her life is sitting around being concerned for her, and enabling her, she’s slipping away.  Daddy Lohan is in courthouses all the the time for his own legal snafus.  Can’t he grab some sort of court order for Linds while he’s there?  Lohans, get involved and save your daughter’s life!

I don’t know what’s more shocking:  the video of Bret Michaels getting leveled by a piece of stage equipment at the Tony Awards, or the fact that Bret Michaels and his Poison bandmates were invited to perform at the Tony Awards.  Both scenarios are pretty astounding.

Michaels was injured but didn’t break his nose as was originally reported.  Personally, I think it was God’s way of trying to get his attention.  When you get taken down by a metal curtain, that’s just His way of saying, “End these interminable seasons of Rock of Love!” 

One thought just keeps haunting me:  If Heather Graham had just flown to the awards to protect Bret, this never would have happened.

Heather Graham makes me feel so inferior.  I consider it a successful day when I get a shower, but The Hangover actress Heather Graham has loftier — literally — goals.  So, while I continue to work on mastering my daily scrub, Graham is working on levitation and learning to fly.  As she explained in a Daily Mail interview, she needs to learn flying so she can travel across cities and oceans and save people from bad fortune.

So far I’ve only succeeded in my dreams. I practice transcendental meditation and there is a phase where you’re meant to lift off the ground. It hasn’t happened yet. I’ll manage it one day. In fact, I’m aiming beyond levitation. I want to be able to fly like a superhero. I won’t be happy until I can fly across oceans and cities, saving people from being murdered.

Let me get this straight — Heather Graham won’t be happy until she accomplishes transatlantic flight without an aircraft?  I predict it’s going to be a long and unhappy life, Heather.

While perusing photo sites today, I stumbled upon a set labeled “Kristen Stewart is a Smoker!” that contained several exclamation points and the above photos with nifty little red circles indicating the irrefutable evidence that Kristen Stewart is in fact one of the most horrible human beings ever to walk the planet. Forget about her terrible acting or the fact that she’s so stoned out of her mind at award shows it’s a miracle she hasn’t swallowed her own tongue yet. The bitch smokes!
I’m going to go ahead and preempt the idiotic maelstrom of “terrible role model” comments and E! Entertainment News pieces that will probably follow the publication of these photos and suggest she learn to pop prescription pills and starve herself or drink excessively and hop behind the wheel of her expensive car like most other “it” girl celebrities under 30.

Get it together Kristen.

It can be hard being a cold-hearted bitch, so sometimes I like to write about things that make me feel good. Like when one of the biggest Powerball jackpots in U.S. history is won by someone who appears to have really needed it– a cowboy from one of the poorest areas of the country who has been struggling to help his family make ends meet.

23 year old Neal Wanless has been helping his ranching family pay the bills by reselling scrap metal. No stranger to hard times, the Wanless Family’s trailer had recently been repossessed and they owe a couple thousand dollars in property taxes. A few weeks ago, he traveled to the nearby town of Winner, South Dakota (how’s that for irony?) and bought $15 worth of Powerball tickets.

Wanless was the sole grand prize winner of the $232 Million jackpot and will receive an $88.5 Million lump sum after taxes. He says he plans to “repay many times over” the kindnesses he and his family have received from neighbors who helped them out in these tough economic times. Wanless also says he plans to buy some land and donate part of the winnings to charity.

When asked about other plans for the money, he said he hasn’t decided yet, but promises that he “will not squander it.”