Prince unexpectedly showed up last night at the Apollo Theater’s 75th Anniversary gala sporting a snazzy yellow suit and a diamond studded cane.  Wait — no platforms? 

We may not be seeing The Purple One in stacked shoes for a while, because he needs to have both hips replaced.  Prince is a Jehovah’s Witness, and one of the things that his religion prohibits is blood transfusions.  He’s been reportedly popping profuse amounts of pain pills and using a cane to manage his discomfort.  I wonder if they make purple wheelchairs because that’s what he’ll be headed for if he doesn’t get this surgery.

I did some research on the beliefs of Jehovah’s Witnesses because it’s not a topic I know much about.  You can be shunned or “disfellowshipped” if you received a blood transfusion, even in an emergency situation.  Apparently popping profuse amounts of pain pills is allowed, though.  You know what else can get you the boot?  Buying Girl Scout cookies.  I don’t know why they are banned but I feel that scarfing down a box of Thin Mints would totally be worth the ostracization.

Yeah, yeah…I couldn’t believe it either. 

The newest issue of Rolling Stone is hitting the newsstands this week as well as the astounding announcement that has shocked the nation:  American Idol runner up Adam Lambert is not straight.  So with the one sentence that everyone has been waiting to hear, “I don’t think it should be a surprise for anyone to hear that I’m gay,” may I now continue with my business of searching for the perfect mascara and not caring about Adam Lambert’s obvious orientation?

Other bombshell stories expected to be reported this week include, “Grass is Green,” and “Megan Fox is Stupid.”

Madonna gets whatever she wants and she’s about to receive her newest acquisition.

You’ll remember that Madge lost her original bid to adopt Malawi orphan Mercy, but The Sun is now reporting that Malawi’s Supreme Court is set to approve her appeal application this Sunday.

Madonna, 50, whose two-year application to adopt the three-year-old was blocked by a court in March, has been told the news by her lawyer Alan Chinula.

The ruling is set to be announced next Sunday at Malawi’s Supreme Court of Appeal.

A source there said yesterday: “The paperwork is being typed up now.

“All recommendations are in favour of the adoption taking place. Mercy should start packing her bags. She’s off to America.”

A close friend of Madonna said: “She’s ecstatic.

“She made a promise that she wouldn’t give up on Mercy and, believe me, she could move mountains when she’s this determined.”

Madonna’s adoption application was originally rejected because she had not lived in the east African state for 18 months, as required.

But one of the three appeal judges has said that rule was out of date.

The pal added: “No stone has been left unturned to prove that ruling was wrong.”

Congrats to Madonna and her crew!  I think it will be nice for David to have a little sister who hails from his home country.

Regardless of whether or not Lance Armstrong actually wanted more children, he seemed happy as can be as he was photographed leaving an Aspen hospital this weekend with his son, Max. Lance was flanked by his girlfriend and baby-mama, Anna Hansen, and his three children from a previous marriage.

Lance immediately created a Twitter page for Max, making him the youngest person ever to have a Twitter account. Priorities, people!

It seems like every time we get a round of rumors about Ben Affleck and Jen Garner calling it quits, we get another set of photos of them walking through a park with their adorable daughters.

Here’s Ben and Jen, along with Seraphina and Violet, looking very much the happy family in Boston today.

I just can’t stop laughing at these pictures. Here’s The Tiz in Milan, promoting an Italian clothing line called Puerco Espin.

Now, I don’t know what “Puerco Espin” actually means in Italian. And I’d rather not have anyone tell me. Because right now I’m translating it in my head as Pork Spin, and it’s making me think of porkspin.com and that’s cracking me up. (WARNING: DO NOT click on that link at work. In fact, do not click on it EVER. Just email the link to someone you really hate, and then bury it deep in the darkest recesses of your memory, where you keep things like the places your uncle touched you and the early Miss Bliss episodes of Saved by the Bell.)