WTF? Where does the time go?

It seems like just yesterday Douche Reinhardt was running around town with Amanda Bynes, but in a recent interview with E! he talked about celebrating his six-month anniversary with Paris. Actually, he talked about damn near everything for Paris. You can watch the interview here (it’s not embeddable — come on, E!), and it basically consists of the interviewer trying desperately to get Paris — the actual famous person here — to talk, but she just defers to Douche most of the time. Oh, and then the interviewer asks if Paris is still friends with Kim Kardashian, and Paris shifts around awkwardly as Doug says “no comment.” I’m with Paris on that one. Wendie totally broke our site-wide ban on the dreaded Kim earlier. I’m letting this one slide, Wendie, but next time it happens you’re doing 200 words on why Jenny McCarthy is right about everything.

Also weird? The interview was conducted at the LA premiere of Simon Rex’s new “mockumentary” Rex last night. Uhhhh … does anyone else remember how Paris Hilton and Simon Rex used to suck face all over town whenever one of them was single? Does Douche remember that? Awwwwkward.

We’ve been hearing rumors for awhile, and now we have even more confirmation that Britney and her agent, Jason Trawick, are an item.

“They are totally and definitely dating,” a source tells People. “Her dad loves him. He’s the best thing that happened to her.”

Actually, I think her dad is the best thing that ever happened to her. Britney would never be in a position to have a healthy relationship (that her dad approves of!) if her father hadn’t stepped in a couple years ago and put a court-mandated end to this nonsense. He made a difficult choice, and gave up his own career in the process, but I think that man absolutely saved Britney Spears’ life. I know that if I were ever in the same situation (thank God I’m not!), my Daddy would do the same, and that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I only wish Lindsay Lohan had someone in her life with the presence of mind to do something similar for her.

Anyhoo, congrats to Britney on a happy relationship!

Everyone knew deep down that she was the break-out star of The Girls Next Door — you better believe Holly knew it! — and now America has confirmed it! Kendra Wilkinson’s new reality series, Kendra, premiered as the highest-rated series debut on the E! since another former Playmate had a solo act on the network — The Anna Nicole Show in 2002. In fact, Kendra out-performed all premiere episodes of “Girls Next Door,” including last season’s debut by 76% in the adult demo.

Wow!!!

That’s pretty impressive, Little Miss Stripper Pole! I have to admit, I watched the show. I can’t say I’ll be watching it again; it was kind of painful. There’s only so many times the Kendra-is-wearing-a-grill joke is funny. And now I’m hearing rumors that she may actually be pregnant. I find that terrifying and upsetting. I love Kendra, but I’d like to see her get a few more years of growing up under her belt before she becomes responsible for another human life. I mean, listen, I’m not good at picking my clothes up off the floor, either (sorry Mom!), but at least I realize that means I won’t be good at picking a baby up off the floor all the time, either. But I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to having a good chuckle over how jealous Holly must be over all this.

Just two weeks after the tragic death of his four-year-old daughter, Exodus, Mike Tyson married girlfriend Lakiha Spicer in Las Vegas. It’s his third marriage.

The wedding took place on Saturday in a private ceremony at the La Bella Wedding Chapel, its owner Shawn Absher told Reuters.

“No guests whatsoever, just the bride and groom,” Absher said. “Very intimate, sincere. Mike seemed very happy.”

I suppose there are a lot of things that could be said here, in light of the recent events in Tyson’s life. And in light of the recent events in Tyson’s life, I’ll refrain from saying them. I do wish him all the best.

Hooray! Hooray!

Not that it should come as any surprise, but the kick-ass 17-year-old, who placed a totally ridiculous fourth in this season’s American Idol, has inked a record deal with 19 Entertainment. Her album’s due out this fall, and I for one am SOOOO excited. Allison joins Kris Allen and Adam Lambert by signing with 19 … but no deal yet for Danny Gokey. Is it on its way? Eh, probably, but who cares? Danny Gokey is boring. Allison rocks!

Gossip Girl star Kelly Rutherford gave birth to daughter Helena this week, and I’m very disappointed that she didn’t name her baby after a handbag.

As reported a couple months ago, Rutherford is estranged from husband.  Turns out, he found out about the birth of his child off the Internet.

“Media reports claiming that I neglected to attend my daughter’s birth are total lies and fabrication,” Giersch says in a statement. “I was never informed by Kelly about the birth of our daughter, nor was I invited to attend. In fact, I found out about it through Internet reports like everyone else. Although this sickens me, I am of course overjoyed that our baby was born healthy. I would’ve wanted nothing more than to hold our newborn daughter for a few moments, and I only seek to coparent both our children responsibly and with love.”

Though we obviously don’t know the whole story, it seems so cold to not let your husband know that you’ve birthed his spawn.  I hope these two can find a way to come together for the sake of these children.