Jada Pinkett has been terrifying Redbook readers by sharing her secrets to keeping her love life alive.  It’s as simple as fornicating in other people’s washrooms.

“Be sneaky… your girlfriend’s house at a party. The bathroom. A bedroom.  Think of places outside that are comfortable to have sex.  Does he have access to his office? Have a fantasy date. Be his secretary!  (Do) anything it takes to keep the flame alive.”

How many of Will and Jada’s friends are having their houses disinfected at this very moment?

As a celebrity, it’s important to keep your name in the headlines.  But would you keep reminding everyone that you exist by publicly reliving the day you called your daughter a “rude little pig?”  Apparently, if your name is Alec Baldwin, the answer is “Yes.”

In the July/August issue of Playboy, Baldwin admits in an interview that he seriously contemplated suicide when the voicemail of him berating his daughter went public.   ”I spoke to a lot of professionals, who helped me … If I committed suicide, [Kim Basinger's side] would have considered that a victory. Destroying me was their avowed goal.”

After receiving some counseling, Alec implemented his plan of media response by appearing on The View.  “Whoopi Goldberg is a friend. I called her and said, ‘Do you think I can get a fair shake?’ Because when you talk about family law and parental alienation, there is this unfortunate gender-based dynamic. Could I walk into a show with a strong female audience? Would they understand my point of view? I trusted Whoopi and Barbara Walters. Whoopi is an impeccably decent person, and I am grateful she gave me a forum.”

He also didn’t have kind words for Harvey Levin, the owner of TMZ who originally released the tapes, calling him “a human tumor, a graceless character who lives in that weird netherworld.”
or for the Today Show which airs on his own 30 Rock network.

“I’m on an NBC show, and Today was considered vital.  But when that voicemail tape thing happened, Matt Lauer interviewed [Harvey] Levin before he even called me. Lauer put Levin on Today, and they never phoned me. When it’s in their interest to reach me, they know how. I saw that and said, ‘My relationship with the Today show is over.’ I’ll never do Today again, ever. Life’s too short.”

Rihanna out and about on the streets of New York City, running errands in her gorilla dress.

Yes. There is something greater than pics of the ridiculous Joan Jett haircut Kristen’s sporting for her new flick, Runaways. And it’s these photos of Dakota Fanning, her costar, arriving at rehearsals.

LOOK HOW BADASS DAKOTA IS NOW!

Seriously, though, no. I don’t think a look like this will ever work on Dakota. She’s forever eight years old in my mind, and no number of pretentious interviews or rape scenes is going to change that for me. Put on a nice ruffled dress and run off to your tea party, Dakota. Leave the badass-ing to Kristen. She’s really, really good at it.

Chris Brown showed up last night at the NBA finals with a Rihanna look-alike, Teyana Taylor.  I don’t know if this is some part of his sick sense of humor, or what.  Some people will say it’s just coincidence even though her glasses really add to Taylor’s similarity to Rihanna.  (Teyna, a disciple of Pharrell, has been Tweeting  about how sick she is of being mistaken for Rihanna, natch.) 

A picture in the gallery of Rihanna with Taylor from last year.

Teyana,

There are rhetorical questions that race through my mind keeping me awake nights.  Like, how did the person who designed the movie poster for The Homecoming keep a straight face when he typed ”In Theaters This Summer” ?  He must have called all his friends and been like, “Dudes, Mischa Barton — uh, I don’t know…she was in some show like, five years ago — anyway, she’s in some movie about a girl who gets obsessed over her high school sweetheart.  Yeah, I’m not kidding, and catch this:  it’s actually going to be shown in a theater.”

Other than the presence of Mischa, who is really an anchor in any project (and when I say “anchor” I mean “device that sinks”), the movie also stars Jessica Stroup (from the new 90210) and some dude named Matt Long.  I don’t know exactly what Matt Long has been in; some sites credit him as appearing in Herbie:  Fully Loaded but that was Justin Long.  The bottom line is this:  when you have two relatively unknowns starring in any production with Mischa Barton, it’s just a blueprint for career disaster, quite honestly.

Expect never to see Stroup or Long in anything again.  And expect to see The Homecoming in theaters July 17th.  Yeah, Cankles Barton is actually bragging about it on her blog.