Hugh Hefner is old and starting to sound really old.  He admitted at a recent Playmate of the Year part that was held at the manse, that he can’t keep his twins straight.

Karissa and Kristina Shannon are identical twins, save one little mark on one of their necks.  Heck, he couldn’t even see the departure of the original three girls next door, how is he expected to notice something as small as a beauty mark?

Hef also talked about who he would want to portray him in a movie — Robert Downey Jr. — and Kendra’s impending arrival.  “Kendra is going to be a good mommy, she’s growing up and Hank is going to be a very good influence on her. They are an ideal couple.  I’m sure the baby will end up at the Mansion. We do have (lots of little bunnies). We have a lot of friends and second generation Playmates, so there are a lot of kids around the Mansion these days.”

“I think she’s a hobbit. The no expectations aspect was fantastic. I kind of wanted her to be the person who not only could sing, but was gonna tell everyone to fuck off and would become the new sex symbol. I hope she comes back fucking crazy like Judy Garland on acid. I’d like to feed her a lot of booze and pills and just let her sing beautiful songs and threaten people from the stage.”

Denis Leary, the numnut who thinks autism is a joke, in a TV Squad interview sharing his opinion of Susan Boyle.  He always was so loquacious.

Britney is so well-intended.  While in London she started out by taking her sons for a walk but then got one of them stuck in a pile of horse excrement.  Pushing strollers is such hard work.  The good news?  She had her hired help with her to assist with the physical labor.

Other pics in the gallery show Brit on the same day, wearing a different shirt, as well as her son’s impressive tongue rolling skills.

Nope, that’s not Rachael Ray and that’s not Tatum O’Neal.  That’s JLH — doesn’t she look really old all of a sudden?  Bad lighting and unfortunate Miss Clairol color choice, I guess.

Anyway, Jennifer Love Hewitt is mirroring the exact same sentiment that I just wrote about a couple of weeks on my own blog.  She was quoted as saying, “It’s just gross. It’s really weird — I can eat chicken if I take if off the bone, but I can’t eat a chicken leg and have my teeth touch the bone. It freaks me out. It’s just the chicken skin. You go, ‘Oh gosh, I’m eating a chicken,’ and it’s really disturbing.” 

Yes, these are very disturbing concepts I’ve been grappling with.   Both realizing that I’m eating something that actually once had a parents and a face and also realizing that my brain is starting to work like JLH’s.  If I go blond and start getting engaged every seven months, euthanize me.  Please.

There’s been a rumor floating around for a while — ironically, started shortly after the whole Chris Brown/Rihanna abuse deal — that there is a Rihanna sex tape that would eventually hit the Internet.

A very short trailer is on YouTube with a promise of more footage to be released on June 22nd.  June 22nd happens to be the same day that Rihanna will be appearing in court, prepared to testify against her ex-boyfriend Chris Brown, also known as the guy that I’m sure isn’t involved in any way in the release of this tape.  Oh, the irony. 

The short clip is after the jump.  I have no idea if it’s SFW.  The music is bad, the lighting is green and the purported singer has text over her face.  You be the judge.

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Over the past couple of days, a story has been circulating that Lindsay Lohan was being investigated for the theft of $49,000 in jewels.  Lohan and theft go together like, well, like Winona Ryder and theft.  It’s not really an exceptional tale.  However, now that People confirms that the value is more like $400,000 and Scotland Yard is involved, it feels a little more like a story worth discussing.

The jewels in question are a necklace and earrings that Lindsay wore for an Elle U.K. photo shoot.  Like most everything that Linds touches, they ended up in the bottom of her handbag missing.  I’m sure that it’s just standard operating procedure to question everyone who was on set the day the jewels went bye-bye.  After all, what reason would anyonepossibly have to think that Lohan was the guilty party?  I can’t think of one. 

An either stupid or incredibly naive Elle U.K. spokesperson released the following statement:  “Elle has no reason to believe that Lindsay Lohan was in any way responsible and has no further comment to make.”

Oh, and if you’re wondering where I found the super-snazzy vintage Linds photo from, she put it up on Twitter last night because she was bored.  Sigh.