My reaction could only be defined as “incredulous” when I read about the harassment and threats that the surrogate carrying Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick’s last ditch effort to save their marriage twins was experiencing.  I mean, this isn’t Brangelina — it’s SJP.  Is there really that much interest in where her fetuses are being stored?  Apparently so.

Two police officials that work in the town that the surrogate resides, are under investigation for masterminding a break-in at the woman’s home in hopes of finding something that could be sold to tabloid reporters.  It’s all still under investigation at this time, but the two Ohio police chiefs are claiming innocence.

You know, I am the first to enjoy a piece of gossip.  But when people’s basic human rights are being violated by a local law enforcement agency who has a vested interest in gathering tabloid fodder, perhaps it’s time to start creating laws to protect people.

Sean Penn seems to have taken a temporary break from racing to the L.A. County courthouse to file for divorce from his wife Robin Wright every eight weeks.  You’d think he’d take advantage of this extra time that has now presented itself in his schedule, and focus on making movies, but he’s actually taking a year off.

In a move that has some in the industry left holding the bag — Penn was slated to appear in Cartel and The Three Stooges but has backed out of both projects –  Sean has indicated a need to spend time with family as his reason for the sabbatical.

May I be candid?  ”Sabbaticals” and “taking a break” and ”exhaustion and dehydration” all mean the same thing:  rehab.  It’s a long-standing rumor that Penn has a penchant for the nose candy — how else to explain his little friendship with Leggings Lohan? 

I guess we’ll just have to stay tuned for the official announcement, but think about it.  You don’t give up the opportunity to play Larry in The Three Stoogesjust so you can chillax a bit — that’s the role of a lifetime.  In the meantime, good luck Sean and enjoy your, uh, “rest.”

Prayers are answered!  I think I can officially stop talking about the controlling clown car uterus and her passive-agressive lap dog — you know – The Gosselins.

When the Jon & Kate Plus 8 season 5 premiere aired, it brought in 9.8 viewers.  Sure, there was a curiousity factor in the first week which definitely helped them get to that number.  However, the numbers have dropped way off.  June 8th’s episode brought in 4.3 million, and this week’s just 2.9. 

America’s over it.  We don’t want to watch unhappily married people who are contractually prohibited from announcing their intention to divorce.  The economy sucks.  We want happy!

It’s over, folks.  Not just your marriage, but your show, too.

I’ve heard rumblings that Busty Spice had her implants replaced to a more frame-appropriate size 34B, and now that Daily Mail is reporting it, it must be true.

This morning, I’ve spent more time than any heterosexual woman ever should inspecting countless pictures of Victoria Beckham’s rack.  The conclusion of my investigation?  I don’t know.  They look pretty big both before the month of May and after.  The only observation that leads me to believe that there could be truth to DM’s story is that, in more recent pictures she’s hiding behind bags and children and trench coats.  Also, I also noticed that for the past couple of weeks, Beckham has been wearing the same conservative black crew neck top everywhere she goes.  I told you — Serious.  Investigative.  Skills.

The pictures above are Posh in June and Posh last November.  Gallery includes a massive collection of VB’s massive set.  Let the comparing begin!

Here’s some pictures of Jennifer Lopez filming on the set of her new movie, The Backup Plan.  She’s really filled out lately, huh?  An Ab Roller could help her.

When will Lindsay learn that Twining — you know, doing lines whilst Tweeting — is just a bad idea?  This morning, in a message clearly directed towards Samantha Ronson, she has basically confirmed to the Twitterverse that SR has a little problem keeping it in her pants.

Lindsay, I’m begging you:  Put down the MacBook Pro, put down the rolled up twenty, get yourself checked in somewhere.  And by “somewhere” I don’t mean a hotel you can live in for the next year.  I mean “rehab.”