And it involves a footjob, apparently.

A video of Leighton Meester having sex with a boyfriend, made years ago, is available on celebhotline.com, where you can also check out screen captures of the film (NSFW, natch).

The site offers a free trial 7-day membership, and then it costs $39.95/month. What do you think, guys? Should I sign up to check out the tape? I’ve never actually seen a footjob.

Oh, and I don’t feel like I should have to say this yet again, but, seriously, people, don’t make a sex tape, ever.

“Jennifer does not share the same sense of humor as me — she did not like my jokes.  I was picking on [Jen’s husband] Ben Affleck and making fun of him because I’ve known him for a really long time — I was talking smack — and Jennifer goes, ‘You know, if you keep saying stuff about him, I’m going to kick your a—.’ And she could — I’ve seen ‘Alias.’ She has a real girly sense of humor and didn’t understand that I was kidding.  I remember talking to Ben and being like, ‘I know your lady is not finding me amusing. Ben, I’ve known you for years, and you are far sicker than I am!’ His jokes are way dirtier than mine. He’s made jokes to me, and I’ve been like, ‘Ben, you need to go to church.’”

Director Kevin Smith talking about the humorless Jennifer Garner and his experiences with her on the set of Catch and Release in 2006.  As an aside, Smith is currently directing A Couple of Dicks — sounds appropriate.

Bad news, guys.  I don’t think Izzie is dead.  A source close to negotiations of the Grey’s Anatomy cast confirms that T.R. Knight is definitely a goner, but Katherine Heigl got a bunch of money thrown at her to stay.  Want to take a collection so we can throw a bunch of money at her to leave? 

I think I watched one season of Grey’s and couldn’t tolerate any more.  If I remember correctly, Izzie was performing all sorts of unorthodox and life-saving procedures on Denny — the dead dude she’s been chatting up this past season courtesty of a brain tumor – and I had to stop watching.  I would torture my husband, asking questions like, “Is that proper hospital protocol?  She didn’t wash her hands, couldn’t that kill him?  Would a bunch of doctors just stand around and watch her kill her fiance?  Is there anyone on staff that Izzie hasn’t schtupped?  If I agree to have another kid, will you promise me that we never have this show on our television again?”  I don’t know if I have any of those facts right, but that’s how acid-induced the show appeared to me at the time.  And we have a two-year-old — I’m a woman of my word.

So, to all you rabid Grey‘s fans, are you just so excited that Izzie is alive?  Who is she going to sleep with on this upcoming season?

Lauren Conrad was on The View yesterday to talk about L.A. Candy, the book she wrote.  Or as Beet likes to say, the book she “wrote.” 

Either way, in a manner that was so inappropriately solemn and grave, Lauren admitted (at about 0:47 on the clip) that The Hills is totally faked.  I just wanted to scream, “Lauren!  It’s not like you’re confessing that you figured out how to split the atom.  You didn’t unearth the mystery of the pyramids.  This is The Hills we’re talking about!”

Dina Lohan has once again headed to the interview circuit to plea for her daughter’s privacy.  Because there’s really no better way to ensure anonymity than to be contacting all major media outlets.

Dina speaks of her daughter’s apparent inability to keep from being hacked.  “Last month her personal cell was posted online and now her phone messages have been hacked.  This must stop. She is a 22-year-old girl who needs to live her life in peace. The tabloids need to leave her alone with all the lies and reporting with no proof.”  Yes, Dina, the tabloids need to leave her alone.  And what better way than by you contacting People magazine to talk about your kid? 

Mother of the Year also defends her daughter in regards to the Elle U.K. jewel theft, saying that accusations are “defamatory, false and unfair.” 

Lindsay is such a victim.  Always and in every way.

As Beet told you yesterday, the Gosselins have an important announcement to make.  It’s a forgone conclusion that they’re announcing their divorce despite the fact that Jon still wears his wedding band while sparking up his mysterious looking cigarettes.  God, they are really keeping this sham going right until the bitter end.  Oh, and I’m warning everyone right now, if their “important announcement” is that they’ve decided to separate, you can’t even prepare yourself for the fit I’m going to pitch.  They’ve been separated for months and months.

Now, a Gawker reader reports, “I was at my friends apt at trump towers on 66th and riverside blvd….. we were in her apt… then left to go to dinner… in the hallway was the realtor of the building and she was with JON from jon and kate plus 8. It was CLEARLY him. He had bloodshot eyes. We all rode the elevator together. He was looking at an apt on the 8th floor.”  Was Jon Gosselin really apartment hunting at Trump Towers in…Manhattan?  I understand that Jon is really checked out and just wants to smoke joints and screw college girls, but would he leave the area where his eight kids live to move to New York City?  Is this the only place where he could find an apartment large enough to house all the cameras necessary to film his weekend visits?  Will I be able to tolerate Kate’s weekly, “I’m here.  I’m doing this.  He’s not.  I do everything for my kids,” tirades any longer?  When the divorce is final, will there be a new show titled Kate & a Date Plus 8?  Jon Movin’ On Without His Spawn?

So.  Many.  Questions.  Monday night can’t come soon enough.