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35How Many Nights In Paris Must We Suffer?

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This has to be a publicity stunt.  For the past few nights since her tragic breakup, Paris Hilton has been seen in various nightclubshanging out with Cristiano Ronoldo — he’s some hot soccer player — and there have been reports of them heading to Nicky Hilton’s home afterwards.  She cannot already have a new boyfriend.  There must be a 48-hour-waiting period between penises.  It’s a rule.

Here’s Paris with her sister, stumbling around outside MyHouse in Los Angeles last night.

I hope Paris finds “the one.”  You know, the guy that can accept her, genital warts and all.  (I take no credit for that.  Those words came directly out of the mouth of — gasp!– my mother.  You see where I get it from.) 

June 12, 2009 at 12:15 pm by Wendie

35 Responses to “How Many Nights In Paris Must We Suffer?”

  1. skinny65 says:

    Just so you know, he’s not just some hot soccer guy. He’s pretty much regarded as the best player on the planet, a demi-god. And on the day he is transfered for a record $133million US he sleeps with Paris Hilton. It just boggles the mind as to what he is thinking.

    • Trini says:

      You can’t be serious. A demi-god? I’m not American and I follow football (I REFUSE to call it soccer x( hmph) but Christiano is NOT regarded as the best player in the world. Players like Messi and Kaka on their own could tear his ass up.

      • Mariana says:

        You can’t follow it very well, then, because Ronaldo won every award last year and was, indeed, considered best player in the world.

        And as to the name, shame on you guys! He’s named Ronaldo as a tribute to Ronald Regan, your former president.

      • Caz2 says:

        He is considered one of the best in the world. Trini, you state you are no American but you certainly can’t live in the UK if you hold that opinion, he is a seriously big deal over here. Nobody can deny that man has extraordinary talent when it comes to scoring goals.

        You don’t pay £80million for an average football player – he was just signed to Real Madrid from Man U.

      • Caz2 says:

        Although that being said, he is also considered one of the biggest chancers and crybabies in the footballing world, to a comical degree.

      • Trini says:

        No, I don’t live in the UK. Are USA and UK the only countries in the world?

      • Caz2 says:

        You said you don’t live in the US, but that you follow football, so I said you can’t live in the UK, because otherwise you’d know what a massive deal he was here.

        So well done. That does indeed imply you live elsewhere, genius.

  2. Monica says:

    yeah.. i second the comment above

    and his name is Cristiano Ronaldo, not Ronoldo!

  3. jeneria says:

    Ronaldo isn’t dating her. He prefers hookers to girlfriends for the most part. That’s why he wants to move to Spain, to get away from the British tabloid press. Good luck with that, Crissy. Especially if your idea of celebration is to hook up with media whore Paris Hilton.

    I’m not sure he thinks much about what he does when he’s off the pitch.

    • Jacq says:

      True. True. I love coming across people who actually know the Euro-backstory! Maybe be thought she was a French whore in that get-up. Now I bet it burns when he goes oui oui!!

  4. Anna says:

    Yeah the only hot thing about Ronaldo is his wallet. He is really a horrible representation of Europe – except for his speedos. We do have a lot of those.

  5. Anonymous says:

    He was elected by FIFA as the world’s best soccer player in 2008, so he’s not just “some” soccer player. He is the man of the hour ,at least, in Europe, Asia and South America. His transference from Manchester (England) to Real Madrid (Spain) is the most expensive ever in the world of soccer (at the age of 24 he is more expensive than David Beckham with his age). I don’t know if you’re interested but surprinsingly he’s Portuguese.
    Check out his pics and other information here:
    http://www.cristianoronaldo7.com/image

  6. Ana says:

    He was elected by FIFA as the world’s best soccer player in 2008, so he’s not just “some” soccer player. He is the man of the hour ,at least, in Europe, Asia and South America. His transference from Manchester (England) to Real Madrid (Spain) is the most expensive ever in the world of soccer (at the age of 24 he is more expensive than David Beckham with his age). I don’t know if you’re interested but surprinsingly he’s Portuguese.
    Check out his pics and other information here:
    http://www.cristianoronaldo7.com/image

  7. Anonymous says:

    Cristiano is not just “some hot soccer player”, he’s pretty much the best player in the world. This past year alone he won every major individual soccer award out there. And you can tell by the way he plays that he loves, respects, and adores his sport. Although, I wish the same could be said for his choice in women. As talented as he is, he has piss poor taste when it comes to lady friends, Paris Hilton simply personifies that.

    Oh well, he may make bad love choices but homeboy just made bank with his record trade to RealMadrid. To top it all off, he’s only 24, he’s only going to get better with time.

  8. mireee says:

    And this is when all the European readers on Evil Beet leave a comment haha
    It’s Cristiano Ronaldo and he is coming to Spain – run for the hills everyone!!

  9. 1984 says:

    Ronaldo is regarded as a crying, arrogant pussy, going to a team ran by businessmen in order to make money out of shirts sales. He’s following the steps of Beckham, except he’s got talent, which Beckham was totaly lacking.

  10. hannah says:

    I sincerely, truly, from the bottom of my heart hope that Paris Hilton gives Ronaldo every STD currently known to man.

  11. Gossip Whore says:

    And when she does find the one, we will harass him until he dumps her because it’s the only thing that gets us off without breaking the law.

  12. Anonymous says:

    so this is how it works? lots of money = lots of penis? :(

  13. Hautie says:

    Well if he has a thing for tacky hookers… Paris would be his kind of girl. She is Queen of Tacky Wh*re’s. Plus I giggle everytime I see her in one of those fugly headbands… with her fake hair attached to it.

    A week from now… he won’t go near her… and she will be telling the press he is her future husband. hahaha! Plus I find him totally greasy looking… not my thing.

    What does have my interest is what in the world is wrong with Nicky’s legs? They are actually concaved… her inner thighs are actually concaved. Please some one feed that girl.

    • Gamer says:

      Yeah, girls need to learn how to play the game. If she likes him, she should make him put a ring on it. Wait, does that work when you’re an heiress?

  14. SNK says:

    Why are the skank’s legs always bruised up??

  15. mcbiscuit says:

    Cristiano Ronaldo is a much bigger celebrity than Paris could ever hope to be. And his fame is based on talent, not being thin, talking shite and sucking Hollycock. Please. She’s lucky to have copped off with him once, I highly doubt he would bother again.

  16. Melissa says:

    I may be drunk…and cristiano may be hot…but paris needs to smarten up>! How old will she be until her pussy needs some off time!?

  17. gil says:

    its not soccer its football…
    you call football to a sport that doesnt use a ball and you use your hands instead of your feet… some call it handegg… lol

  18. 43jlb says:

    “Some hot soccer player”? seriously? Under what rock do you live? Get your facts right… he’s THE biggest international sports superstar.

  19. Shady says:

    Ronaldo is a god. Do not call him some player, he IS the perfect soccer player, when he plays its like hes dancing on the field..Its amazing. But he has horrible taste in women..
    *sigh*
    <3333 Ronaldo

  20. Dee Cee says:

    Sorry it’s how she makes her money.. performing tricks solo or in groups with whatever for the amusement of rich clients. That her sister sometimes joins in.. well refer to the pix of her and Parasite sexy girl on girl posing in the back of a Playboy limo.

  21. Nathan says:

    Football demi-god bitch please…

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