After years of denying her SUPER OBVIOUS pill addiction, Paula Abdul is opening up about it … and it JUST SO HAPPENS to coincide with the release of her new single. Funny, that.

Paula says she’s kicked the pill habit, which I’m almost willing to believe, as she’s been more sober during this season of Idol than any season prior. She talks openly in a new interview about the detox process:

“I could have killed myself,” Abdul, 46, tells Ladies’ Home Journal in its June issue. “Withdrawal – it’s the worst thing.”

Abdul says she checked herself into the La Costa Resort and Spa, in Carlsbad, Calif., last Thanksgiving to help beat her use of medication. “I was freezing cold, then sweating hot, then chattering and in so much pain, it was excruciating,” she says. “But at my very core, I did not like existing the way I had been.”

After taking medication to combat pain from injuries that happened during her grueling years as a dancer – beginning with a back injury when she was 17 and including a neck injury sustained in a plane crash in 1993 – the American Idol judge says, “I’d been working nonstop,” and her desire to carry on with her work led her to take more pain pills.

“I’m an old school professional,” Abdul says of her “Never let them see you sweat” credo.

By 2005, Abdul was diagnosed with reflex sympathetic dystrophy syndrome, a chronic condition that resulted in debilitating pain. As a result, she wore a pain patch and took nerve medication and, occasionally, a muscle relaxant. The combo made her “get weird,” she says.

Ehhh, I’m not gonna give her too hard a time here. I’m glad she finally got honest about it, because it’s been so ridiculously obvious for years now, and her lies about it were such a punchline. Hopefully she’s really clean and planning to stay that way.

OMG is it too late to adopt Taylor Swift? I’m just soooo in love with this girl. I want to put her in my pocket and take her with her everywhere. She’s just so enormously talented and adorable and fantastic.

Check out the vid for her latest single, “You Belong with Me.” Oh I love it I love it I love it!!! I have SUCH a girl-crush on her. But not in a sex way, just in a love way. (My sexy girl crush is still Blake Lively.)

We know we can sing and we know she can drink … but can she act?

We’ll find out, although I secretly think I already know the answer. (No.)

Christina’s been cast as the lead in Burlesque, a contemporary musical about an ambitious small-town girl with a big voice who finds love, family and success in a Los Angeles neo-burlesque club.

“I couldn’t be more excited, as this was a project written with her in mind,” says the head of Screen Gems, the studio producing the film.

Someone wrote a film with Christina Aguilera in mind as the lead? Even though she has absolutely no prior acting credits?

This oughtta be good.

Looks like Paula Abdul managed to stumble into a recording studio and allow a voice modulator to give her throat a little break from the pills. The result? This new single, called “Here for the Music.” The song was previously recorded by Kylie Minogue as a demo but never released. (You can listen to Kylie’s version here.)

I know this song’s intended as a dance track, but I still think it’s pretty freakin’ awful. It’s sounds more like a track that Heidi Montag rejected, and you all know that’s saying something. Paula’s reportedly going to be performing this song “live” on Idol. I don’t know if even that level of exposure can save this thing. Plus there’s the added risk that it’ll kill Simon.

Listen, I am a nobody.  I’m not famous, I’m not even notable.  And guess what?  There are no topless photos of me wandering around on the internet.  Why?  Because they inevitably surface.  Remember ladies:  Nips are never a Kodak moment.

The newest in the long line of Miss California’s woes, Christian Carrie Prejean now finds herself in a position of defending pre-surgery, topless photos taken of her when she was “a teenager,” or you know, two years ago.  For someone who is so dedicated to spouting her values, I’m amused by this latest, totally predictable development.

Her titillating statement:

“My comments defending traditional marriage have led to intimidation tactics that seek to undermine my reputation and somehow silence me and my beliefs, as if opinion is only a one-way street.

“I am a Christian, and I am a model. Models pose for pictures, including lingerie and swimwear photos. Recently, photos taken of me as a teenager have been released surreptitiously to a tabloid website that openly mocks me for my Christian faith.

“I am not perfect, and I will never claim to be. But these attacks on me and others who speak in defense of traditional marriage are intolerant and offensive. While we may not agree on every issue, we should show respect for others’ opinions and not try to silence them through vicious and mean-spirited attacks.”

Deanna Hummer Hummel, the twenty-three year-old that was seen out with Jon & Kate Plus 8′s Jon Gosselin, spoke with People about that night and the misunderstandings regarding their friendship.

“We’re just friends,” Deanna Hummel, 23, tells PEOPLE exclusively. “It’s absurd that anyone would think otherwise.”

According to Hummel, she met Gosselin through a mutual pal a couple of months ago. Since then, the two have been hanging out – as part of a group of friends, not as couple. The social outings have included visits to each other’s houses and nights out on the town, but always with others there, and it’s always all innocent, according to Hummel.

“We just talk and socialize, the normal things you do when you see friends,” says Hummel.

Hummel admits that the two did show up at Legends Bar in Reading, Pa., recently, but says a published photo of her driving Gosselin’s car has been misinterpreted. “He just got this new car and I wanted to drive it. I’m into cars,” she says. “We all have guy and girl friends. Because of who he is, it gets portrayed the wrong way, and it’s unfair to him and his family.”

She also adamantly denies that Gosselin called her “babe” while heading to his car. “He did not by any means call me ‘babe,’ ” she says. “Nobody calls me babe. That made me laugh.”

What she doesn’t find funny, though, is being linked to a married man. “He’s a very nice guy, don’t get me wrong. But he’s married with eight children,” says Hummel, who is single. She adds that Gosselin “has a great family life. I would never ever think to pursue anything.”

I’m sure this chick is just trying to protect herself from Kate Gosselin.  Because when she tracks down this Deanna girl, she’s going to assault her with the sharp end of a Swiffer.

I can’t help but think that if the test drive story were truly that innocent, why would you continue to be talking about it weeks after the fact?  The lady doth protest too much, methinks.  And before you think I’m getting all Chris Martin on you, that’s Shakespeare, dudes.