The director here is Adria Petty, Tom Petty’s daughter. She made a documentary about the “truth” behind the myth of Paris Hilton.

Personally, I’m bored by the “this isn’t what I wanted, I wanted to be Princess Diana, my life is so sad” business. Paris Hilton has a lot to be grateful for and she ought to shut up and be grateful for it. But I’m fascinated by the glimpse of the early childhood videos of her. I hope there’s a lot of that in the actual documentary, which was bought by MTV and should air sometime this year. It’s interesting to watch her mother teach a 10-year-old Paris how to look blankly into the camera. I wonder how much of a behind-the-scenes role her mother played in her fame early on.

That’s what Extra is reporting. They say it’s a “rumor,” but since the “rumor” comes from FOX, they’re thinking that there might be a grain of truth to it. The Idol producers haven’t confirmed anything — although Lionel Richie, Carlos Santana, Cyndi Lauper, Queen Latifah, Black Eyed Peas, Keith Urban, Carrie Underwood and David Cook are all confirmed for the big show.

Who do you guys think will win? Is Adam Lambert a shoe-in? I like Kris Allen just fine, but you guys know I loooooove me some Adam!!!

We heard rumors awhile back that Mel Gibson’s new girlfriend may be pregnant with his demon spawn, and now TMZ has stepped in to confirm them.

They say Oksana Grigorieva is in her second trimester, and Mel has already told his wife and existing kids about the pregnancy.

A song lyric comes to mind here. It goes something like this: “Eighteen years, eighteen years, she got one of your kids, got you for eighteen years.”

Just saying, Mel.

Quickly! Someone call the cops! Where is security in all this? Sharon Stone is in a public place and she’s touching small children!!!

Wait, what? They’re her children? That is impossible. Sharon Stone does not have ovaries. It’s a little-known tidbit that she took her stage name from the fact that was born with stones instead of ovaries. The stones were also found in her heart and in the part of the brain that controls fashion choices.

Ah, the sons are adopted. That makes more sense. She adopted the first one with then-husband, Phil Bronstein, before she divorced and then ate him. She adopted her second two on her own. And now they are all playing at the park. So nice.

Hey, Chris Pine? Yeah, you. Hot Star Trek stud with an enormous potential career in your future? You were spotted out clubbing with The Artist Formerly Known as Ceiling Eyes. Her “fans” know her as “Audrina Patridge,” but I know her as “The Relationship That Will Ruin Your Career.”

You are pretty definitely A-list right now, Chris. People take you seriously as an actor. I know this is all really new to you, and the idea of dating someone as famous as T.A.F.K.A.C.E. must seem really exciting right now. But it shouldn’t be. You’re more important than her now, by a lot. You wanna be in the tabloids? Fine. Date Audrina Patridge. You want a career as an actor? Date Natalie Portman. Then we have the Star Trek/Star Wars story to play off of for months and months, and you’re dating someone who can actually help your career.

If all of that fails, Chris?

My contact information is in the sidebar of this website.

I mean that literally, of course, as Mariah opted to wear sunglasses — at night — to a boat party in Cannes. She’s obviously saving her actual eyes for her beloved. She and Nick, who’ve been married for over a year now, still looked as lovey-dovey as ever. I find myself rooting for this couple. They do seem to be so in love, and Mariah’s had a long and painful relationship road, and she deserves something good in her life. Nick Cannon is a good guy. I hope these crazy kids make it. I hope they have the common sense not to do a reality TV show about their marriage.