I don’t understand this and I kind of hate it. BritneySpears.com today released the cover art for Britney’s latest single, “Radar,” which was originally a part of her Blackout album. I don’t mind the song, but it’s not one of my Britney faves, and there are definitely cooler tracks on Circus, like “Kill the Lights” or “Phonography,” which I don’t even think was part of the US release of the album. Why are they re-releasing “Radar?”

Brad and Angelina showed up arm and arm on the Cannes red carpet at the Inglourious Basterds premiere.  Brad looked appropriately doting and Angelina looked like she finally reached an appropriate body weight.  She wore a dress that wasn’t black and though she still hasn’t ventured out of the neutrals, it was cut to her nether regions which certainly helped her cause.

All in all, they look très glam if not overjoyed to be with one another.

What’s up with this? Despite all the buzz around Adam Lambert, yesterday’s performance finale of American Idol drew the lowest ratings ever for a finale of the series. Granted, the “lowest ratings ever” still involve 23.7 million people, but what’s the deal with this?

My opinion?

Everyone already knew Adam was going to win by a landslide. It wasn’t an exciting, tight race to tune in for. I like Kris, I do, but he doesn’t stand a chance against Adam, who’s been unstoppable since day one. You could totally tell in the judge’s final remarks; they were all like “You’ve done a great job, Kris. You should be really proud of yourself.” Like the way I talk to my chihuahua when he and my neighbor’s golden retriever race for a ball up on my deck. “Good job, Leo! You ran really fast after that ball! You’ve got a lot of spirit, boy!” Meanwhile, the golden retriever’s clear on the other side of the deck with the ball hanging out of his mouth, while my dog’s still staring at me, waiting for me to finish what I’m saying before he prances five feet away and begins sunbathing.

Oh, and Kara’s single? SUUUUUUUUUUUUCKS. I think the word “mountain” should be banned from song lyrics. President Obama?

I’d like to share with you all the ways in which NBC executives are idiots.

1)  Last year NBC scrubbed Scrubs and ABC picked them up and had a relatively successful season.  I’d like to take this opportunity to thank ABC for not changing Scrubs‘ time slot every twenty minutes.

2)  They have moved Ugly Betty to Friday nights.  Goodbye Betty.

3)  The Parenthood remake of a remake.

And finally…

4)  They dropped Medium.  If you’re a fan of the show, today is your lucky day.  It’s another program that NBC abandoned but CBS is breathing new life into the drama and has added it to its Friday night schedule.

Brad Pitt is in Cannes promoting his new film Inglorious Basterds.  I think it’s clear that he probably walks into parties like he’s walking onto a yacht.  I suspect we’ve found our modern-day Warren Beatty.

Angelina Jolie has finally joined him in Cannes.  They’ve been appearing around town and putting all those break-up rumors to rest — for this week.

This is what happens when I’m left unattended too long.

I was on Twitter last night and I saw Tila Tequila whining about how she’s blocking anyone who asks her about Shot at Love.  Okay, let’s be honest here — Tila Tequila doesn’t have over 127,000 followers because of the humanitarian work she does in war-torn Sierra Leone.  People know her, and are interested in her (I guessssss…) because of the two seasons she did of Shot at Love.  And because I was left unattended too long I decided to point out that seemingly obvious fact to her.

Tila responded by calling me a “Dumbass hoe.”  If you aren’t familiar with that term, it means that I am the least intelligent of all garden tools.  Apparently, she didn’t appreciate my perspective.  Story.  Of.  My.  Life.