Natalie Cole had a kidney transplant a couple of days ago.  How wonderful that she was given a second chance at life.  Unfortunately, within hours of her surgery, her sister’s life slipped away.

Just last week, Natalie Cole’s sister Cookie learned that she had lung cancer.  She made the decision to decline treatment and her condition deteriorated very quickly.  Natalie was at her sister’s side when she received the early morning call that a matching kidney had been found for her.  Though she hesitated to leave — she had to be at Cedars-Sinai within two hours — her younger sister Timolin urged her to go.  Like the makings of a Lifetime movie, within hours of Natalie’s surgery, her sister Cookie passed away.

I always find these circle of life stories fascinating.  One life extinguished as another is saved.  Thoughts and prayers sent out to the entire Cole family!

Guys, I seriously don’t know how I can resist this.  It’s like God has sent a Priority Mail message directly to me.  Tila Tequila is in Boston this weekend.  That’s a lie, actually.  She’s not in Boston, she’s in Quincy — an outlying suburb.  I’m trying to determine if she’s worth the 45 minute drive and seven dollars worth of gas for me to go confront her.  I’m feeling like I need to go to Marina Bay, the club she’s appearing at, and ask her why she’s doing paid appearances since being famous means nothing to her.  I don’t know — what do you think?

If I go, I’m totally bringing my Flip so I can videotape this.  Now, I must leave you so I can go research just how quickly I can have a t-shirt printed that reads “Dumbass hoe.”  Oh, and I’m bringing an actual hoe and a hand mirror with me so I can explain the difference.

Paris Hilton has lost her mind Blackberry.  According to Daily Mail, Paris spent last night stumbling around Cannes in search of the wayward phone.  She told a DM reporter, “It’s the worst thing that could have happened. It has all my contacts in it and the last thing I want is for it to fall into the wrong hands.”  It’s funny because that’s exactly what I do want to happen.  I can’t wait until its content is sold to the tabloids.  I fully expect many “Your prescription is ready” emails.

Can you imagine how thrilled all her “friends” must be?  In 2005 her Blackberry was hacked and personal information was obtained from tons of celebs that were in Paris’ address book.  I think Paris needs one of those Firefly phones that stores about four numbers — she can’t handle anything more sophisticated.

Speaking of sophisticated, since I ruined everyone’s appetite yesterday with this, click here if you’ve got some masochistic urge to see what Paris and Doug look like when they’re having sex.

I can’t believe this but Clay Aiken has an exclusive part of his website that you have to pay $29.95 a year to have access to.  Who is paying for this?  Aren’t Claymates, like, extinct now?  Thankfully, our friends at Gawker saved us the thirty bucks and were kind enough to copy and paste Clay’s latest bitchy entry:

Now that it’s all over, and for the record…. I couldn’t be happier about the way AI ended this year. I only turn the show on once a season, and only to see what the set looks like each year. This year, I happened to turn it during the minute that Adam Lambert was singing “Ring of Fire” and, at that moment, thought my ears would bleed. Contrived, awful, and slightly frightening! I wasn’t really a fan and found myself surprised whenever folks told me that they liked him. Granted, I never saw another performance (and many folks who I trust said that he was great) but I can’t imagine I would have enjoyed it. Just not my cup of tea at all. To each his own. I never saw Kris sing on the show, but whether he was good or not is really relative. It’s usually a matter of taste, right? But Idol is not always a matter of musical taste only. It’s about the person you like. From what little I saw, Kris seemed likable. (That’s not to say that Adam isn’t just as likable as anyone.. maybe more so… I don’t know) When Ruben and I were standing next to each other every night (many years ago) you had two equally talented, equally unlikely, equally unpolished contestants…. so it really was a matter of taste as to who was voted for. While some may argue that one of us was hyped more than the other, I don’t feel that was the case. However, this year, there was an obvious bias. Not even having watched the show, I can tell you that I was WELL aware of the bias from the judges as to who should win. In my opinion, that is awfully unattractive. I don’t think I am alone

In my opinion, it all often comes down to that last night of voting. Until the finale, folks are voting for the contestant that they want to see continue. But, I believe that on that last night, the dynamic changes. No longer forced to choose one person that they want to see win, the audience can effectively vote AGAINST the person that they don’t want to see win. In the case of season two this might have happened. There may have been some folks who voted for myself or Ruben because they didn’t like the other of us. I was the nerdy little girly boy who some didn’t want to see win, so they may have voted for Ruben. I don’t know. .. But again, I feel that Ruben and I were fairly matched. We both had our detractors and negatives, but I feel we were both very worthy of being on that stage in that moment, and either of us would have been worthy of winning. The show was different then, and folks made it in seasons 1-3 because they were “real” people who happened to sing/entertain well. But, somewhere along the way, AI stopped being about real people.

It’s odd that Clay would have such negative things to say about Adam since he wanted to record a duet with him.  Aiken also thinks Kris Allen won, not because of a grand talent, but because there were more anti-Adam votes.  Isn’t that how Bill Clinton got elected to his first term as president?

I think many voters got sick of being “told who to vote for”. I think many were turned off by the blatant favoritism shown towards one contestant. Therefore, on that last night, they used their votes against a contestant that they were tired of hearing about and for the contestant who had been written off. And, at the same time, I think they voted AGAINST an American Idol that has, for four years now, been more about the slick productions and polished contestants than it has been about finding the raw talent that it did in its first three seasons.

Those votes for Kris were also votes to return the show to its roots of finding “real” contestants with undiscovered talent and giving them the chance to grow and shine. They were votes that said “we’re tired of seeing contestants who already seem to know it all”.

Will American Idol choose to listen to the resounding and clarion call that those voters gave them?…. “Enough with the pretention. More Rubens, more Clays, more Fantasias and Tamyras and Kellys please.” My faith has always been in the voters. I think they have gotten it right every year (mine included). It’s now up to American Idol to decide if it will finally REALLY listen to the folks that keep it on the air.

One thing is clear from this “premium blog.”  I may overuse ellipses, but at least I know that, when used in the middle of a sentence, they only consist of three dots.  Seriously, Clay?  Get it together.

This video of Adam Lambert — the one who dodged the American Idol bullet — singing at his 2000 high school graduation is making its way around the internet.  No hair dye, no eyeliner and hardly any shrieking.  Enjoy!

Mary Kay Letourneau is hosting at a Seattle club on Saturday for “Hot for Teacher” night. The DJ? Her formerly underage baby-daddy love — and now husband — Vili Fualaau. Vili will be rockin’ the turn tables while Mary Kay meets guests and signs autographs.

You guys think I’m kidding, but I’m soooo going. I’m going to the Folklife Festival during the day to watch 13-year-old kids smoke pot, and then at night I’m going to check out the successful DJs they become after having sexual intercourse with their teachers. I’d reach out to the club and ask if I could interview her, but I honestly don’t know what I’d ask her. What do you ask a grown woman who falls in love with a teenage boy? I don’t think “What on earth is wrong with you?” is an appropriate interview question, even for me.

Please don’t be jealous of my awesome party life. If you’re in the Seattle area, you should meet me there!