In her new movie, Easy Virtue (you can tell from the title alone that it’s going to be really deep and thought-provoking) Jessical Biel gets the chance to show off her pipes. No, I don’t mean her tits. That’s her other movie that just came out on the shelves of a Blockbuster near you. Easy Virtue is a completely different movie that doesn’t have any strippers or candlewax… at least I don’t think it does.

At any rate, Biel, who does a fair bit of singing in the new film,  reveals that she got her start doing musical theater like Annie and The Sound of Music, and that when she was a kid, she “wanted to be Whitney Houston.”
Keep up the good work Jessica! You’re one cocaine habit and a few religious delusions away from living the dream!

Last week, Wendie wrote about the supposed feud that’s been brewing between Nick Cannon and Eminem over some lyrics in Eminem’s new single “Bagpipes from Baghdad” and a few wet and wild comments he made about Cannon’s wife, Mariah Carey, on his satellite radio show. Cannon had initially posted a blog entry on his website, basically calling Slim Shady out for fisticuffs. But now he’s saying that in spite of his harsh words towards Shady, there is no feud between the two of them.

“I felt like I said what I had to say,” Cannon said. “I didn’t take [the post] down, like, ‘Oh, somebody instructed me to do it’ or anything like that. It was just one of those things, like, I said it.”

As for the real reason he took the post down, Cannon said it had to do with the traffic to his Web site, which “pretty much crashed my site. There’d be thousands and thousands of comments and people couldn’t leave comments on other posts or any of that stuff. So that was the only reason why I took it down.”

And while noted that he doesn’t have any regrets about what he said — “I feel exactly the same way by it and stick by everything, but I think it’s one of those things where it becomes that it’s not really that big of a deal, you know?” — he did say he has no beef with the MC.

“I never even considered it as beef,” he said. “It’s not beef. It’s just, Hey, I heard the record. I said what I had to say.”

So, if it’s not beef, what is it? Tofurkey? I can’t imagine that if some guy says horrible things about your wife in one of his songs and then claims to have pissed on her you would just let that drop.

And now comes the point in the evening where I take a break from playing Punch Out to look at pictures of celebrities in expensive, but not always beautiful clothing.

Several celebs turned out for the amfAR Cinema Against AIDS Dinner held as part of the Cannes Film Festival. I wish I were the kind of person who opts not to say snarky things about celebrities when they’re actually doing something good and magnanimous, if not exactly altruistic. But let’s be realistic here– if I were that kind of person, I wouldn’t be writing for this blog.

While there were some attractive, well-appointed attendees– Claudia Schiffer looked adorable and Robert Pattinson actually managed to look alluring, not creepy– there were just as many couture trainwrecks.

Diane Kruger fell into one of those giant layer cakes that strippers pop out of and liked the feeling of buttercream between her tits so much that she decided to cover it in fabric and wear it to dinner. Zoe Saldana, who plays Uhura in the new Star Trek movie, couldn’t find a suitable dress, so she cut the tops off of several pairs of extra extra large nude pantyhose, draped them around her shoulders, tied them in a knot, and hoped no one would notice.

Meanwhile, Paris Hilton showed up wearing something that looked like a tinfoil cupcake wrapper mated with the seashell themed accessories decorating your Aunt Dee-Dee’s bathroom. She then proceeded to spread her legs and lean at awkward, 70 degree angles– either because she was posing for photos or because someone was holding a limbo contest just off camera.

In all seriousness, amfAR is a worthy cause, and I’m glad that these celebs took time out of their busy schedules of partying and wearing fancy dresses to party and wear fancy dresses for a cause. I just question the choice of fancy dresses.

And I couldn’t agree with him more.

After criticizing Adam Lambert’s vocal stylings earlier this week as “Contrived, awful, and slightly frightening”, Aiken once more took to the member’s only section of his blog, this time to defend his claims that listening to Lambert might “make his ears bleed.” He kind of, sort of, didn’t really  apologize, opting for the “don’t really listen to anything I say” defense.

“My opinion is just that, only my opinion, but for as much as some of the blogger’s seem to dislike me and care so little about my thoughts, they sure can waste a lot of their space on what I say,” complains the performer.

“The only person I would really dream of apologizing to is Adam. And the irony is, if he’s smart he couldn’t give a crap what I think.” Aiken continued, “I do apologize to Adam for my colorful (and negative) choice of words. I hope he can forgive me. I imagine he doesn’t give a damn!”

Aiken is definitely right about one thing: no one should give a damn what he thinks. But someone must, because somebody out there is paying $30 a month to be a “member” of his site and read this drivel. I don’t understand most of humanity.

I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s doing this just to get some publicity. After all, it’s the first time in months that anyone has given a crap about anything Clay Aiken has had to say. And according to him, we shouldn’t have even given that crap.

I’ve used Google street view to look at my own house– I’m sure you probably have too. While it can be a surreal, and even slightly unsettling experience, I’ve never been worried that a blurry snapshot of the outside of my house would give burglars a leg up on trying to break in to it. But then, I’m not Sir Paul McCartney.

Photos of Paul McCartney‘s London house were removed from Google Street View after the rock N roll star’s security team complained.

The Daily Telegraph said the Web site, which was launched in England in March, has been criticized for allegedly violating people’s privacy, and making residents vulnerable to burglars and other villains.

“He was unsettled when he heard users could get a 360-degree view of the property,” The Sun newspaper quoted a source as saying about McCartney.

A Google spokesman told the tabloid anyone can eliminate their house from the Web site by clicking a button.

Let’s hope everyone doesn’t make use of that button. Otherwise, entertaining websites like this might become a thing of the past. Invasion of privacy? I don’t see what the problem is.

Even at the age of 42, it’s never too late to learn that if you hurt someone’s feelings– or headbutt their face in a fit of unmitigated rage– you should say you’re sorry.

A day after the 24 star admitted on TV to some regretful behavior on his part, the actor’s rep says Sutherland and Proenza Schouler designer Jack McCollough have buried the hatchet since tangling at a party last month.

“I am sorry about what happened that night and sincerely regret that Mr. McCollough was injured,” Sutherland said in a joint statement with the designer, who adds: “I appreciate Mr. Sutherland’s statement and wish him well.”

The 42-year-old Emmy winner is due in a New York court June 22 to answer to a misdemeanor assault charge for allegedly head-butting McCollough at a Met Costume Institute Gala afterparty (supposedly while avenging a perceived slight to Brooke Shields), but their reconciliation could pave the way for a dismissal.

I’m so glad he learned to make nice. Now if he can just start pooping in the toilet like a big boy…