Unbelievable! I knew the ratings would be high, but I had no idea just how high. The season five premiere of Jon & Kate Plus Eight, which I’ve mentally titled Jon & Kate: Separate Couches, brought in 9.8 MILLION viewers. In comparison, the Lost season finale — which aired on a network — only brought in 9.2 million viewers. In the 18 to 34 demo, the premiere had 3.1 million viewers — No. 2 to just the American Idol finale. These are astounding numbers for cable programming. Totally high, just like Jon was in most of his interviews. Ba-dum-bum-ching!

TLC is learning that drama sells better than contentment! I could have told them that! (But Mandy Moore couldn’t have.)

I never understood Beet’s dislike for Mandy Moore but I’m starting to get it.  She — Mandy, that is — is kind of an idiot.

In a new People magazine interview, and I don’t know why they are talking to her to begin with –some nonsense about a new album she’s releasing that no one is going to buy — like zOMG, Mandy just can’t believe she got married!  “It still feels not entirely real. Things are wonderful, and there’s such a peaceful settledness [She couldn't have said "contentment"?] about it. But sometimes I can’t wrap my head around it. It seems bizarre but really cool at the same time, like, ‘Wow – I did that!’  I’m enjoying life, but I was enjoying it before [marriage] too.  It’s not like, ‘Oh, my life is complete now.’ I just have this extra incredible bonus of my best friend in the whole world, getting to spend every day with him.”  Don’t you just want to scream right now?  Have you reached your MM quota for the year day?

Yes, Mandy.  The rest of the world can’t believe it either.  They also can’t believe there was someone out there who was willing to marry your completely irritating ass.

In January, when Katy Perry and her boyfriend Travis McCoy broke up, she announced that she was going to be celibate for a year.  Don’t we all say that when relationships go horribly wrong?  Well I don’t — I like to get my rebounds underway as soon as possible, but whatever — most people swear off sex when they are jaded.  Perry and McCoy reunited and though she now claims that she’d rather die than be celibate for a whole year, she won’t be having any random encounters.

According to Perry, anonymous sex is icky.  She told WENN, “Getting your flirt on is the best thing in the world, but when it comes to sharing bodily fluids with a person I don’t know – no thank you.  For me, it’s not a past time, going out and meeting people and trying to hook up with people. That actually makes me feel disgusting. From a really early age, I was really sensitive to that.”  Of course, since Katy Perry is 24, I’d love to know at exactly what “really early age” she became so sensitive to one-night stands.

The Supreme Court of California announced today that they chose to uphold Proposition 8, which forbids same-sex marriage. The good news here? The 18,000 marriages that were performed while same-sex marriage was legal in California are still valid.

The 6-1 decision was issued by the same court that declared a year ago that a state law defining marriage as the union of a man and a woman violated the right to choose one’s spouse and discriminated on the basis of sexual orientation.

Prop. 8 undid that ruling. The author of last year’s 4-3 decision, Chief Justice Ronald George, said today that the voters were within their rights to approve a constitutional amendment redefining marriage to include only male-female couples.

Justice Carlos Moreno, in a lone dissent, said a majority should not be allowed to deprive a minority of fundamental rights by passing an initiative.

The justices ruled unanimously that Prop. 8 was not retroactive and that gay and lesbian couples who relied on the court’s May 2008 ruling to get married before the Nov. 4 election will remain legally wed.

Sooooo tonight we protest peacefully to remind the world that same-sex marriage is a CIVIL RIGHT that many of us in this country support. I look at this as yet another opportunity to galvanize the nation into action. Since Prop 8 passed, there have already been many victories for equality — same-sex marriage has been approved in Iowa, Connecticut, Vermont and Maine, and legislation is pending in New Hampshire and New York. THIS FIGHT IS FAR FROM OVER, and I am certain that justice will win out eventually. This is no time to be discouraged — it’s time to get even louder with our convictions.

To locate a protest near you, click here. Leo and I will be at the rally in Seattle tonight, and I hope you and your friends will consider attending the rallies near you. We must make sure our voices are heard throughout the nation on this issue.

I fully admit I was never a faithful Jon & Kate Plus 8 viewer.  I had seen a couple episodes and had quickly determined that Kate was a controlling wench of a wife.  This weekend there was a Jon & Kate marathon on TLC.  I obviously couldn’t watch all of it because I do have kids of my own that need attention, but I did watch a lot of episodes and feel like I have a better picture of the Gosselin family.  Oh, and I still think Kate is a controlling wench of a wife.

I don’t understand why people talking about the decline of the Gosselin marriage.  In every episode I saw, no matter what season, Jon looked miserable, stoned and completely checked out.  He never got a word in edgewise and on the rare occasion that he was allowed to articulate a thought, Kate would edit what he was saying and reinterpret it in her own words. 

So what did you think of last night’s premiere?  First of all, I don’t know why Jon and Kate didn’t come out and say that they are separated — they so obviously are.  Jon Gosselin is done, outta there, so over it.  My guess is that they’ll keep up this “working on it” facade for this season and then that will be it for the show.  Of course I also fully expect Kate Gosselin to get a cooking show on Food Network — it’s the next logical career step for her.

Can we talk about Kate for a minute?  She strikes me as very manipulative and disingenuous.  In last night’s episode it seemed as if she was very intentionally trying to be more likable.  She laughed a lot, tried to be friendly with the other moms at the birthday party, was overly affectionate with her kids.  Clearly, she’s rallying public support.

I’m also wondering if anyone took a count of how many times the phrases “for the kids,” and “doing it on my own,” were uttered?  It’s tough being a single parent but “doing it on my own” doesn’t have quite the same impact when you are getting paid $65,000 an episode to basically do a craft with your kids on camera.  And it also doesn’t have quite the same impact when you have three hundred dollars of highlights and lowlights on your head.

Is there one J&K+8 fan out there willing to say that they believe the Gosselin’s will work through this strife and stay together?

Do I hear crickets?

In their continuing practice of being as offensive as possible, Paris and her boyfriend tried having sex in a bathroom this weekend which resulted in them getting kicked off a yacht.

It all started when Elton John’s husband, David Furnish invited Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt to a party being held on a friend’s yacht.  That act alone shows some serious bad judgment on the part of Furnish but it pales in comparison to the trashtastic duo.  The couple arrived and were immediately inappropriate.  Like every other public appearance they make, they immediately started making out, groping each other and sticking their tongues down each other’s throats.

That just wasn’t enough attention whoring.  They proceeded downstairs to a bathroom where things escalated before they were interrupted.  The captain was informed of what was going on and had them kicked off the still docked ship.  Yes!

In fairness to Paris, she’s a simple thing.  She was on a boat, saw a door that had a sign on it that read “head” and obediently proceeded.  She’s really not to blame.