“I am not a fan of books. I would never want a book’s autograph. I am a proud non-reader of books. I like to get information from doing stuff like actually talking to people and living real life.”

These are the words of Kanye West — and I’d like him to know that books don’t actually sign autographs, authors do – who obviously feels that being a non-reader is something to brag about.  I feel like saying, “Dude, ‘doing stuff’ is cool, but you kinda have to also read books to learn about stuff that happened before you were around.”  Of course that would imply that the universe existed before  West was born and I’m not sure I could convince him of that concept.  I’m sure his English professor mother is beaming with pride, watching from heaven as her little anti-bibliophile spreads the (unwritten) word.

In true ironic form, Kanye West has written a book.  Yep.  It’s titled “Thank You And You’re Welcome.”  West’s “collection of thoughts and theories” is 52 pages long if you count the random interspersed blank pages, and offers food for thought such as, “Life is 5% what happens and 95% what you make of it.”   Did I mention that this glorified place mat costs eight dollars?

In closing, I’d like to leave you with this excerpt from the book:

Get used to being used

I feel like to misuse, overuse or abuse someone is negative. To use is necessary and if you can’t be used, then you are useless.

Back in 2004, Josh Brolin was arrested for spousal battery against his wife, actress Diane Lane.  Charges were dropped when both parties called the incident a “misunderstanding.”  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve mistakenly walked into a fist.  Please.  Since then, I’ve never liked Brolin.  Then this weekend I was watching Milk and Josh Brolin killed Harvey Milk so now I really, really hate him.  And the newest?  It looks like he may have cheated on his wife.

Josh is working in New Orleans and according to In Touch he’s been sampling the best the town has to offer. 

On May 21, Josh, who is on location in New Orleans filming Jonah Hex, partied at the Royal Street Inn with local Melissa Green — then took her back to another location to hang out at 11:35 p.m. The next morning, at 7:23 a.m., “They left together,” a witness tells In Touch. “Josh looked like he hadn’t slept at all. She was wearing the same outfit as the night before and looked embarrassed.”

I’ll be the first to admit that spending the night with a member of the opposite sex doesn’t mean cheating has occurred.  But since this is Josh Brolin we’re talking about, let’s assume it has.

Michael Lohan continues his trail of crazy.  On March 18th, after his fiancee broke up with him again, he called her and threatened to kill her and himself.  Apparently the dummy didn’t know that murder-suicide threats are kind of against the law.

He wasn’t arrested until April 6th (This picture of them was taken on April 1st — so post-threat and pre-arrest.) and appeared in court yesterday.  His lawyer appeared on his behalf to answer the charges that could land Lohan in jail for a year.  Thankfully, his parole had expired a few weeks before he told his girlfriend he was going to off her.  That’s an example of good timing.

In other legal woes, Lohan will also appear in a Westbury court today to explain why he’s $12,000 behind in child support payments

Huh, who would have thought that Lindsay would be logging less time in the courts than her dad in 2009?

We all know how much Aunt Jodi’s sister hates Jon & Kate (& Kate & Kate & Kate). So every now and then I take a look at one of the predictable rants on her blog, Truth Breeds Hatred. Today’s post kind of cracked me up:

Kevin and Jodi will be giving a live interview tomorrow morning on The Early Show (CBS). The segment should be airing around 7:30am EST.

I also want to acknowledge all of the emails I am receiving. I can’t respond to all of them, but I want everyone to know that I am reading them and sharing them with Jodi. I have received the most heartfelt stories and poems. I am truly touched that so many have taken the time to write, and I want you all to know that the support we are receiving is definitely a bright spot during this difficult time.

Many people have asked what they can do. My best advice right now is to stop watching! … I am disgusted that they would show such a tender moment between Jon and his daughter just to pull at the viewer’s heartstrings. That conversation should have been a private moment between a father and daughter. Each person who watched last night stole something from the children that they’ll never get back.

None of this matters but the poems.

Attention, people: WHO ARE YOU out there sending poems to Jodi’s sister? Did you write them yourself? If you did, then that’s simply the most delightful news I’ve heard all day. People are independently composing poetry about Jon & Kate. WHAT DOES IT EVEN LOOK LIKE? I was going to try to write a sample J&K poem for you guys, but then I realized that I totally wasn’t high or 13 enough. I don’t even remember how to fake being an angsty 13-year-old. Should it rhyme? Do I need to draw an anarchy symbol on my wrist before I begin? I think I will suggest that you folks write some poetry in the comments.

I also have another idea. I think Aunt Jodi’s sister should post on her blog all the poems that she received from readers. Then the state of California will vote on whether or not to incorporate said poems into their state Constitution. If they vote against it, then Mady and Cara Gosselin can’t get married, ever, to anyone. DO YOU SEE HOW THIS IS A WIN-WIN SITUATION?

Arnie sat down with Jay Leno tonight and discussed the California Supreme Court’s decision to uphold Prop 8. “I think they’re going to be back,” he said. “In another year or two they will be back again with another initiative trying to get [gay marriage relegalized]. And you know, eventually it’s going to be overturned, I’m sure of that.”

I’m sure of it too, Arnie!

I attended the rally tonight in Seattle. I posted a bunch of pics from it on my (increasingly boring) personal blog. You can check ‘em out here. We had a fantastic turnout for the rally and the march. I’ve had a lot of people ask me why I, in Washington, was protesting a legal decision in California. I guess I see it less as a Prop 8 rally and more of a civil rights rally — more as a reason to have a civil rights rally. I firmly believe that same-sex marriage is a civil right, and to deny a minority group the right to marry is clear-cut discrimination and a violation of their civil rights. I look forward to seeing a same-sex marriage initiative on the Washington ballot in the near future. I donate monthly to Equal Rights Washington, a group which works to get gay marriage on the ballot here in our state. (Currently, they’re busy battling Referendum 71, which hopes to destroy the domestic partnerships same-sex couples enjoy in Washington. You can learn more about that here.) In everything I do, I try to put my money where my mouth is and, if I’m talking the talk, I better be walking the walk. It’s a standard I’m proud to hold myself to. I encourage you all to do the same with your convictions, whatever they be.

Suicide rates among GLBT teens are exceptionally high. It’s important to keep this issue front-of-mind, and to send a clear message to young gay and lesbian and transgendered people across the country that, despite the crowing from some hateful religious factions, there are many, many people in this country who aren’t interested in judging you based on your sexuality, who are prepared to love you for whomever you are and whomever you choose to love, and who will take time out of their day to fight for you to be accepted.

The crowd tonight — at 5:30 on a workday with only a couple days’ notice — filled the entire plaza outside the Westlake Center. We stopped the traffic as we marched toward Capital Hill. News cameras and photojournalists captured every minute of it. It is important to create that mass. It is important to create that visual. If just one gay teenager sees this footage on the news tonight and thinks to himself, “Wow, I didn’t realize there was so much support for me in this state,” it would have been worth doing 100 times over. It’s why I always encourage you guys to get out and attend these protests. These visuals make a difference in people’s lives. Your body there makes a difference. Get out and get heard.

California will eventually legalize same-sex marriage. As will the rest of the U.S. states. It will happen in my lifetime, and I can’t wait.

Oh Lindsay, how I’d missed the daily photos of you! So thank goodness we have this new set of you arriving home wasted, some random guy in tow. Lindsay: WE ALWAYS KNOW YOU’RE DRUNK WHEN YOU BLOW KISSES. It’s a dead giveaway, sweetheart.

Check out the rest of the pics from this set — and many more! — in the Evil Beet Photo Gallery.