Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Phelpsy Doesn’t Value Our Relationship

Ohhh Phelpsy! Why do you continue to trample upon our love? We have such an amazing thing going on here, me with my undying love and respect for you, and you with your Size 14 penis. It’s the perfect relationship. And yet you seem intent on throwing your wee-wee into anything you meet at a strip club. Take this chick, who’s talking to News of the World about the threesome she and another stripper had with you last year.

Apparently this young woman was impressed with Phelpsy’s stamina (Duh! He’s an Olympic athlete!) but says he chews tobacco constantly (Ew!) and has a whole bunch of chicks he hooks up with on a regular basis. Also he refused to take her to a nice restaurant, instead inviting her to dine with him at Taco Bell. “That was it,” she said. “He just bought me some soft tacos. No romantic candlelit dinner. He HAD said he’d take me to The Capital Grille which is one of the city’s swankiest restaurants, but it never happened.”

Listen, sweetheart. You’re obviously the kind of girl who will bang him and then talk about it to News of the World. You’re Taco Bell quality! Phelpsy, when you and I finally make our love a reality, I promise I will not talk to any newspapers about it. I may mention it on this teensy tiny little blog I have, but that’s all! Promise!

17 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Michael Phelps has an ick factor that will not wash away, no matter how many medals he wins.

  • hahahaah…you want more than Taco bell treatment…then stop servicing yourself to others for taco bell prices

  • Arrrrrrrrrgh! That stupid video and corresponding article on the news site make me furious! All that nonsense and not one WORD about how hung (or not-so-hung) he is???!!??! Seriously, this was the biggest tease EVER. Screw that midget bitch and her nasty grill and too-high fake boobs.

    I WANT REAL NEWS, dammit.

  • What the hell was that clip of her walking down the sidewalk making sex faces at the camera??

    Also I love taco bell.

  • You really need to get over Michael Phelps. He may have a package & a half, but he’s gonna rot the thing off with the kind of trash he picks up. He is a skank.

  • This is not the 1st (nor probably the last) ‘Hookup Confession’ I’ve seen on a gossip blog and the thing that kills me the most is when the girls complain about the guy not taking them out to fancy restaurants, being romantic and the like. News flash: You are ALL jumps! Did you expect the girlfriend treatment? Grow up and be adults about this-you know why dude is there and if you aren’t about giving him some ass and throwing up the peace sign afterwards then do NOT go with him!

  • With a face only a mother could love, his mama boy issues and that whole riding dirty with multiple strippers and pros, what’s not to love? Be glad you will never get near his diseased peen, and if he keeps this kind of stupidity up he won’t have any of the expected endorsement money to look forward to either, and he’ll be a swim teacher. He’s quite a loser for being such a winner.

  • I am from Baltimore. The Capital Grille is not swanky!! (but I guess it might be to a stripper) She seems so clingy, did she not get the memo that she was just a booty call. Now, I guess she won’t be getting that call anymore.
    The poor boy gave up 8 years of his life to train for the olympics, let him have his fun now!!

  • Seriously who cares… Why do sponsors and the media give such a shit? He works his buns and peen off to become an Olympic Gold Medalist ( and owns their ass’s on it), then smokes some weed and has a threesome with some strippers. Sounds like a day in the life of every celebrity out there.