WOOT WOOT!!!!

It’s happening slowly, bitches, but it’s HAPPENING. The long arc of history curves toward JUSTICE.

The Iowa Supreme Court legalized gay marriage Friday in a unanimous and emphatic decision that makes Iowa the third state — and the first in the nation’s heartland — to allow same-sex couples to wed.

In its decision, the high court upheld a lower court’s ruling that found a state law restricting marriage to between a man and woman violated Iowa’s constitution.

“We are firmly convinced the exclusion of gay and lesbian people from the institution of civil marriage does not substantially further any important governmental objective,” the Supreme Court wrote in its decision. “The Legislature has excluded a historically disfavored class of persons from a supremely important civil institution without a constitutionally sufficient justification.”

The decision will take about 21 days to be considered final, and, after that, gay and lesbian couples can begin applying for marriage licenses. So there will be lots of BEAUTIFUL same-sex marriages in Iowa this summer.

HELLS YEAH.

Thanks Steph!

“Cubed” means to the third power, right?  Because I need to make sure that I’m using the right mathematical term to define the insanity that occurred last night at the Wiltern in Hollywood.  Lily Allen did a cover of Britney Spears’ “Womanizer” and danced with Lindsay Lohan.  I’m sorry, But Lily Allen and Lindsay Lohan singing and dancing to Britney Spears?  That is, just…tri-fuckery.

I was happy to see the Daily Paris posts go.  And don’t worry, Klipper.  Employing a sophisticated and secret mixture of voodoo, herbs and electro-shock therapy, I’m trying to use mind control on Beet to call a moratorium on Daily Lohan, too.  Though I suspect that won’t happen until Lindsay gets clean-and by “clean” I mean “showered.”  So, you know, never.

But back to the above-pictured one hundred and seven pound waste of space.  Can someone please explain to me what she was doing in this get-up yesterday in Santa Monica?

I’m thinking a cameo in a “Whip It” video remake?  Or perhaps she’s trying to catch Kanye West’s attention.  Maybe she was meeting Doug Reinhardt’s parents for the first time.  Thoughts?

You may find this odd since I write celebrity gossip, but I don’t really like movies.  I have limited knowledge of them and have never seen such classics as Grease, Star Wars or Titanic.  I know, I live a life of shame.

However, even I know that the hardscrabble, down on her luck girl with no other options than the stripper pole movie has been done at least thirty-seven times.  Hasn’t it?  Because I watched this little Jessica Biel clip where she talks about how much she respects the profession and how her Powder Blue character didn’t go to college so she had no other career choices and, I dunno-all I could think was, “Didn’t Demi Moore already do this movie?”

Oh, and if the firemen didn’t do anything for you, and the Kendra Wilkinson photos just made you crave hay and oats, this trailer may satisfy.

You know that I love making my little celebridictions around here.  My newest?  Mariah Carey is pregnant.  Sure, these rumors have been milling around about Mariah at fertility clinics and Mariah buying baby furniture and Mariah acting like a moody bitch…oh, wait…

Anyway, my vision is now supported by the photographic and therefore rock-solid evidence of Mariah Carey’s bruised arm.  This is a classic sign of a woman who has been pincushioned by those vampire nurses.  Scoff if you wish, but wait.

Even though I fully plan to take one hundred percent credit when this pregnancy announcement is made, I have to give a shout out to Amanda, who gave me the heads up on the arm action.  I don’t know Amanda personally but she’s obviously someone I need to meet-anyone who spends significant time looking at the inner arms of celebrities?  I call that person “friend.”

I don’t actually live in Boston, but it sounds tonier to say that I do.  I live in the suburbs where tumbleweeds and stray cows frequently pass by.  But on a good day, when the wind blows right, we do get Boston network television.  According to Boston NBC affiliate WHDH, we Massachusettsians will not be seeing Jay Leno this fall in his yet-to-be titled ten o’clock show.  WHDH-TV has been formulating a new news broadcast, slated to be aired in the ten o’clock slot.  Execs at the NBC mother ship have their peacock feathers in a serious ruffle over this.

WHDH’s move is a flagrant violation of the terms of their contract with NBC,” John Eck, NBC TV Network president, said in a statement. “If they persist, we will strip WHDH of its NBC affiliation. We have a number of other strong options in the Boston market, including using our existing broadcast license to launch an NBC-owned and operated station.

Listen, WHDH is eventually going to give in to the master.  But for today, may I revel in my fantasy of massive mandible-free programming?