The sleazy bag of human excrement pictured above–  41-year old Alex DeSilva, choreographer for Fox’s So You Think You Can Dance– has been arrested and charged with multiple counts of sexual assault that took place between May 2003 and March 2009.

The four victims in this case were all students of DeSilva at the time of the assaults. The victims alleged that he lured them to his homes in North Hollywood and Van Nuys. He then used a ruse to get them into his bedroom where he raped them…

Bail has been set at $3.8 million dollars and the police have released his mug shot because they believe there may be other victims who have yet to come forward.

I’ve publicly expressed my theory that Paris Hitlon is a “human” who is slowly but surely turning into a robot– further evidence of which can be found here and here. But I think I might have been a bit off in that accusation. She might be a robot that is slowly but surely turning into a human.

Here, we see Paris at this Friday’s launch of the new JC Penney clothing line I <3 Ronson, sporting her new hand, stolen from the grave of a 60-year-old British man and attached to her metal endoskeleton by an android necromancer. I like how they used a lovely lucite wrist-coupling to cover up the skin-weld marks. Cute!

That JC Penney party has turned out to be a regular goldmine for gossip-worthy snark. Who knew? I’ve never thought that any publicity is good publicity, but I’m actually considering popping into a JC Penney for the first time in years, just to check out this clothing line. I should be very, very ashamed of myself.

Farrah Fawcett has been hospitalized and is in critical but stable condition in an L.A. area hospital. The former Angel has been battling anal cancer since 2006 and recently returned from Germany where she was undergoing an experimental stem cell treatment. She seems to be in pretty bad shape, and has been unconscious for days. Family are gathering at her bedside, including her long-time significant other, Ryan O’Neal, and son Redmond.

Iron Chef Cat Cora is is expecting a baby — and so is her wife Jennifer.
They are both pregnant at the same time.

Both expecting boys, Jennifer, 37, will deliver in April, while Cat, 41, is due in July.

The couple’s new sons are from the same sperm donor as their older boys…the baby Cat is carrying [is] from Jennifer’s eggs. In Jennifer’s current pregnancy, both women’s embryos were transferred, so the biological mother is unknown. The couple do not to plan to conduct DNA testing to determine this.

“[Jennifer] carried my embryo and I carried hers,” Cat explains. “It’s like surrogating, but obviously all of our kids are equal.”

“It’s really crazy! We decided that having them a year apart is harder than having kids as infants together.”

I’ll agree with one part of that sentence. Having lived in a house with 3 other women when we were all on the same cycle, I can only imagine the nuclear fallout that happens when two women who are in a relationship with each other are pregnant at the same time.

A few weeks ago, Wendie wrote a post about how Ashton Kutcher tweeted his wife’s twat, sending out a picture of Demi bending over in a white, distinctly hanes-her-way, creepy old men getting turned on by the underwear section of the Sears catalog style bikini. Then, her kids responded, supposedly saying they were mortified by the very public exchanges Demi and Ashton constantly send over the “micro-blogging” service.

At first I felt embarrassed for the kids, because I wouldn’t want pictures of my mom’s butt plastered all over the internet either. But it turns out Demi’s kids don’t know shit. In addition to posting embarrassing butt shots, Twitter can also be used to save lives.

Late Thursday, the G.I. Jane star received a frightening tweet from a woman named “sandieguy.”

“I’m just wondering if anyone cares that I’m gonna kill myself now,” she wrote to the star. Serious or not, her previous messages that hour—not directed at any one particular person—showed the Silicon Valley girl contemplating suicide and wavering on the decision.

Shortly thereafter, the girl messaged the Ghost actress again. “Getting a knife, a big one that is sharp. Going to cut my arm down the whole arm so it doesn’t waste time,” she wrote.

Moore immediately replied, “Hope you are joking,” sharing the scenario with her nearly 400,000 followers.

The brief exchange inspired several people to contact the authorities.

“At 4:37 this morning, the San Jose Police Department received a call from a citizen requesting that we check on the welfare of a 41-year-old female,” San Jose Police Sgt. Ronnie Lopez tells E! News. “The caller indicated that she had been sending out messages on Twitter. Officers were sent to the address. There were no injuries but officers determined that the woman fit the criteria to be brought in for psychiatric evaluation, which she is currently undergoing.”

So I guess celeb watching on Twitter is good for all kinds of desperate cries for help.

Johnny Depp was spotted, looking very “Valentino” (and I mean that in a derisive way) while filming on location in San Juan, Puerto Rico for his upcoming film, The Rum Diary.

Aside from the gold-rimmed glasses and “my teeth are so white cuz I got a leather face” look, I want to talk about the picture in the gallery where it looks like he’s being asked by the mother of a bed-ridden girl to “lay hands” on her. I’ve heard of fans worshipping their favorite celebrities, but never literally.

In other Depp news, the actor recently recorded a voice appearance for an episode of SpongeBob SquarePants. He plays a laid-back surfer character named Jack Kahuna Laguna in an episode scheduled to air on April 17th.

In yet other Depp news, to this day I cannot write the name “Johnny Depp” without thinking of that glittery neon hair gel I was so keen on using in the 4th grade. The bangs of 10-year-old me were a crunchy, gel-soaked, poofy work of art.