I don’t know if this is just some sort of publicity stunt but Tila Tequila and The Smashing Pumpkin’s Billy Corgan showed up on the 2nd Annual Bravo A-list awards red carpet, looking totally into one another.  So weird, it almost works.

Also, Kendra Wilkinson showed up looking like a Howard Johnson franchise, Tori Spelling needs a Happy Meal intervention-like, yesterday, Rachel Zoe is Jesus Christ, Kathy Griffin tried out a new lifestyle with Aubrey O’Day and Sanjaia Sanjaya was there despite the fact that the photo agencies didn’t care enough to even spell his name correctly.

Chris Brown’s arraignment has been bumped from this morning until this afternoon.  I’m really happy about this development as I won’t be around when we all learn that Brown’s attorneys have cut a deal with the prosecutor that basically equates to a misdemeanor with no jail time for beating the hell out of his girlfriend, Rihanna.  Be assured, no matter what, I will continue to get as much mileage as possible out of this picture.

Want to know how confident I’m feeling about this plea deal?  This is what I’m willing to do:  If this case ends up being sent to trial, I will write one, positive and complimentary, two hundred words or more, piece on Mischa Barton, tomorrow.

Stay tuned.  And Christ, I hope this goes the way I suspect.

Here’s a picture of Serena Williams and her friends catching some rays, or really hiding from rays, this weekend in Miami.  Her legs are like mighty sequoias.  No kidding, total muscle.  And speaking of being crafted of wood, doesn’t her hand look like it belongs to a mannequin?

But Serena isn’t really the bitch I want to talk about.  I want to talk about the little white fur ball perched at the end of her chaise lounge.  Uh, what breed of dog is that?  Because I need one.  I’m not a people dog person at all, which is a little ironic since I work for the biggest dog lover of all time.  But I’m in worship with this one.  He/she has melted the ice chambers of my heart.  I’m seriously willing to trade in all one of my kids to get one.

This is working out really well, isn’t it, Linds? The drinking, the drugging? It’s all going so awesome. That’s why you look so happy.

As Kelly reported this weekend, Lindsay was turned away from a party where Samantha was DJ’ing this weekend. Samantha was reportedly having a blast inside, while Lindsay was screaming and shouting at the door because she wasn’t allowed inside, per Sam’s orders. The two are splitsville, according to their friends, at least for now.

Lindsay got kicked out of Sam’s house, of course, so now she’s staying at the Chateau Marmont, where she usually holes her ass up to do cocaine for weeks on end when shit gets bad. Because when you’re rich and famous and have nothing else you need to do, that’s a totally reasonable reaction to a bad day. Aren’t you glad you’re not rich and famous?

Mama Lohan and Aliana are hangin’ there with her, probably because she doesn’t feel like meeting her dealer in the lobby every twelve hours, so she sends them instead. TRUST.

How many days until Lindsay’s back in rehab??? It’s a when, not an if at this point.

This has to be the absolute greatest red carpet this awards show has ever seen. Fantastic. Lots of good stuff here. I’m probably more interested in this red carpet than I was for the Oscars. First off, we’ve got Keith Urban, still hittin’ that Nicole Kidman good stuff. Watch that hand, Keith! There’s so much damn Botox in that woman, I bet Keith Urban’s penis doesn’t have wrinkles anymore. I bet it’s just a sleek, even line of wrinkle-free man-meat.

Then we have Jennifer “Can’t Find Love” Hewitt, who split from her fiance like twenty minutes ago and now is dragging Jamie “My Career Is As Dead As A” Kennedy down the red carpet. You couldn’t brush your hair for your first red carpet appearance in five years, Jamie?

And because of all the country albums he released last year, Matthew McConaughey was there with his baby mama, Camila Alves.

Lastly, what would an awards show be without Kellie Pickler and the magical mermaid who ate her lower body?

Lots more in the thumbnails, including Miley Cyrus, Taylor Swift, Kaley Cuoco, Martina McBride, Reba McIntyre, LeAnn Rimes (sans her “husband”), Carrie Underwood and, of course, Carrot Top. I know sometimes I suck at labeling pictures, but I did a really good job this time so you guys can know who everyone is! Yay me!

Today has been QUITE a day for my friends.

First off, my gorgeous and amazing and always fashion-forward friend Talita Silva is starring in the new Style network show, Running in Heels, which follows her trials and travails as an intern at Marie Claire. Talita and I were way tight when we both lived in LA, and it was always her dream to move to NYC and work in the fashion business out there. She up and did it right after I moved to Seattle, and, DAMN, when Talita does something, she does it right! Less than a year and the bitch has a fucking TV show! What a total testament to her talent and her drive, both of which she has in abundance, in addition to being a true friend who I’ve always felt like I could talk to about anything. She’s definitely the next Rachel Zoe. Talita, you are soooo styling me for free! You can check out Talita’s MySpace fan page here or check out her Style network blog about the show here.

I logged on to MySpace for the first time, in, oh, a decade, so I could join Talita’s fan page, and of course I have a zillion messages (sorry if you emailed me on there!). One of them was sent back in February, from my friend Jessica, who’s a dancer for Lisa D’Amato. Jess is the hot blonde thing in the middle, and Lisa’s on the left.

Now, if you’ve read this site for awhile, you know how much I love Lisa D’Amato, the ANTM castoff-turned-rapper. She’s so genius. She can do no wrong in my book. The beautiful (and naturally that skinny! It never seemed fair!) Jessica stars in Lisa’s new video from her upcoming album. The song’s called “Trainwreck,” and Jess’s email asked if I could plug it on the site. OF COURSE I CAN! I’M ONLY SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO FIND OUT ABOUT IT! So, ladies and gentlemen, without further ado, Lisa D’Amato, the fabulous Jessica Kauffman, and “Trainwreck”!!!