But don’t touch that dial, kids! It’s any minute now.
In the nuclear tabloid fall-out of her split from Samantha Ronson, stories about Lindsay’s unraveling are everywhere.
First, we heard rumors of her blatant drinking on Monday night. It’s no big secret that Lindsay’s been drinking, but she’s been making a kinda-sorta effort to hide it in public, up until now.
The rehab graduate grabbed a bottle of Belvedere vodka sitting on her table, turned away from other party-goers, and chugged it. Her mother Dina was sitting at the table at the time.
Lindsay then mixed diet soda and vodka and downed several as the night progressed. La Lohan started the evening at h.wood sitting on a couch and texting. Suddenly she began crying. She finally put down her phone and that’s when the partying began.
Then we heard about her trying to crash a party full of total strangers after being turned away from Samantha’s DJ gig on Saturday night.
[W]hen Lohan couldn’t party at Bar Marmont she then snuck into the bungalow area of the Chateau and went on a door-knocking rampage. The actress obviously heard word of an all-girls night in and even though she didn’t know the party peeps personally, she wanted to be part of the action.
“There was a knock-at-the door and Lindsay Lohan was there,” an eyewitness told Tarts. “She was as orange as a carrot and her pupils were as big as quarters. She looked awful!”
Apparently the 22-year-old introduced herself and said “Let’s party!” but even when the ladies tried to close the door on her she continued to push back. Eventually the annoyed guests locked the door, but our girl stayed pounding away for another minute before (finally) getting the hint and moving on.
Really, there are very few people in this world who give journalists the opportunity to use the phrase “door-knocking rampage.” Lindsay is one of those rare gems.
And now, in what I doubt will truly be the coup de grace, Lindsay poured her vodka-soaked heart out to Us Weekly about the whole affair.
“It’s absolute hell,” Lohan told Us on Monday in a far-ranging interview over several lengthy phone calls and emails where she was both agitated, crying and baffled by the turn of events. Ronson broke it off with her girlfriend of nearly two years last Friday, and hired five security guards to keep Lohan out of an afterparty for her sister Charlotte at the Chateau Marmont.
“The worst night of my life,” Lohan — who was staying directly one floor above the Ronsons with her mom Dina and sister Ali — tells Us.
The next day, Ronson changed the locks on the Hollywood Hills home she shared with Lohan. On Monday, Ronson’s mom and sister asked police about obtaining a restraining order against Lohan, Beverly Hills Sgt. Nutall confirms to Us. “I’m not a bad person and this is what happens,” Lohan told Us through tears. “I was raised to treat people well, and I’m so tired of this drama.”
Lohan says she’s “so alone” without Ronson. “Everyone’s turned on me,” says the actress. She tells the magazine that the night of the Chateau showdown, Nicole Richie walked by her and said “Uck,” and Drea De Matteo said, “Come at me, bitch.”
“I’m a f–king 22-year-old girl who’s in love,” she says. “I felt like I was in Mean Girls, but worse: Mean Girls was a movie.” Sources tell the magazine Ronson had repeatedly tried to break up with Lohan over the past month, but each time, “Lindsay threatens to kill herself — she cares about her but wants out.”
Lohan laughs upon hearing that, saying she’s okay. “I’m just really hurt!” she says. “The whole situation is sick.”
The best part is that reps for Us swear they didn’t pay Lindsay a cent for the interview. Oh, God, Lindsay. Delete the tabloid phone numbers from your cell phone, girl. You’re gonna regret this so hard when you sober up some time in May.
I know I’m supposed to be poking fun, but we’re kind of at the point where we were with Britney in late 2007. Where it’s not really all that funny anymore, and there’s this fellow human being here in horrible pain who’s self-destructing, and she doesn’t seem to be surrounded by people in a position to help her — in fact, sources say her mother was out drinking with her on Monday night. Her evil father claims he’s on his way out to LA to see her, but that’s probably the last thing she wants or needs. At least Britney had one parent with the sense to take serious, love-based action. I don’t think Lindsay has that. I don’t know who’s gonna save this girl, or if she’s just gonna have to get far down enough to save herself. I hope that’s what happens for you, Linds. I hope you manage to save yourself.
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