Waterman, attending Simon Cowell's 'This is Your Life'

Millionaire British songwriter and entrepreneur Pete Waterman is upset with Google over the paltry royalty checks he’s been receiving from them for Youtube’s play of Rick Astley’s song “Never Gonna Give You Up,” a tune that Waterman penned.

Waterman only receive[d] £11 (about $16) in royalties last year from Google, despite being the man behind the song that spawned the Internet phenomena known as Rick Rolling. The number might be a tad on the low side, but we’d hardly call it exploitation. PRS for Music (the royalty collection agency that Waterman employs) and Google are working to reach a new licensing agreement, but have yet to strike a deal regarding how royalties should be dolled out for streaming online content.

Waterman, who in 2004 was estimated to be worth £47 million (just shy of $69 million), recently held a press conference in which he compared his plight to that of exploited migrant labor in Dubai.

We’re talking about a man with so much scratch that he collects antique trains– not tiny model toy trains, but actual, full-sized locomotives. Show me a migrant laborer in Dubai who has one of the world’s largest collections of antique locomotives, and then maybe I’ll care that you’re only getting paid a little bit of free money for doing nothing.

To be fair however, this is Dubai we’re talking about. For all I know, their idea of poor, exploited migrant labor could be displaced former AIG executives forced to drink 10-year-old (instead of 40-year old) scotch and sleep in 5,000 square foot, 4-bedroom “shacks” with no bidet.

Nicky Hilton hosts a party at Prive inside the Planet Hollywood Casino in Las Vegas.

Does that dress look familiar? It should.

Beating up hookers just isn’t enough for Sham-wow and Slap-chop promoter Vince Shlomi. In his free time, he also abuses languages. Here, he butchers Spanish in a horrific attempt to sell more Sham-wows.

I used to chuckle every time I thought about the Sham-wow guy beating up a hooker… until I saw these pictures. (Warning: they’re a little disturbing.)

The blood and the swelling make it too real and disgusting. As funny as it seemed at the time, I don’t think I’ll be able to laugh about that again. Now, it just makes me feel sad for humanity.

Happy Easter! What are you doing here, reading this? Shouldn’t you be off, avoiding that creepy spawn of evil, the Easter Bunny, and stuffing yourself with handfuls of jelly beans and technicolor Peeps?

Speaking of technicolor Peeps, here’s a picture of Katy Perry’s latest outfit!

In all seriousness, people like to talk a lot of shit about Katy Perry. Admittedly, she wears some strange outfits. But she’s spunky, and capable of looking rather hot, and I can’t help liking her.

Perry was the guest of honor at Friday night’s ‘The Beautiful People’ party, hosted by Paper Magazine at the Hiro Ballroom in New York. There were most definitely some beautiful people in attendance. The fashion however, well, that’s debatable. As usual, Perry was wearing something that can be described as both hideous and fun, while  Semi Precious Weapons frontman and MTV Made coach Justin Tranter’s fashion choices left you wondering whether or not he is an actual person, or just an amalgamated personification of urban legends and seedy back alley prostitute gossip.

And then there’s Lady Sovereign…

Have a look in the gallery. Yay! Fashion is fun!

It’s been a little over a week since Lilo was barred from entering Charlotte Ronson’s clothing line launch party, and the news spread that Sam and Lady Lolo were splitsville. But already, rumors are spreading that Samantha Ronson has a new girlfriend– a dark-haired “mystery woman” named Cindy– and was seen getting up close and personal with her at that very party. This same woman was also reportedly seen coming out of Ronson’s home this past Sunday morning.

Suddenly, Lilo’s tweets about Sam being a “cheat” make a lot more sense, as does Ronson’s decision to ban Lohan from entering the party since the “other woman” was going to be there. Lindsay Lohan would definitely smack a bitch.

The above 2007 “interview”, in which Tracy Morgan calls out Oprah and impersonates a pregnant woman while lying on the news desk, will be used in its original format in an upcoming episode of 30 Rock, further blurring the line between TV and reality, and the line between being funny and being batshit fucking insane.